Can we talk about how our messages about a woman’s role can actually undermine her safety?

Just a quick catch-up for today’s post! I want to share a few things I’ve seen on social media and then throw this open for discussion. I’m taking a bit of a downtime this week and next week to relax, but I thought I’d share something quickly I was thinking about this week.

First, I shared this Fixed It For You on Instagram and Facebook, based on a meme I saw.

She's Someone Fixed it For You

Women’s worth is not based on who they are related to.

Yet so often we tell men especially to remember the rape victim, the victim of sex trafficking, even the young woman in the bikini is someone else’s daughter or sister or wife—as if we can’t imagine having empathy for her for her own sake.

Until we can have empathy for a woman merely because of who she is, we will continue to assign women’s worth based on who they are connected to. That’s part of what needs to stop.

Of course we can picture how we would feel if she was our daughter, our sister, our mother. But let’s remember that no matter what, she’s a person.

Made in the image of God.

And that’s why she matters.

Sheila Wray Gregoire


Some great comments came out of that!

What if you're NOT the problem with your sex life?

What if the messages that you've been taught have messed things up--and what if there's a way to escape these toxic teachings?

It's time for a Great Sex Rescue.

But then I saw another meme from Mountain City Counseling in Denver.

Are we priming women for abuse?

Grooming for abuse

I just think that this raises some interesting questions. I’ve written about some of these things, like:

But I’d like to throw this out for discussion today. What do you think about this meme? Does Mountain City Counseling have a point? 

I’m working on the edits for our mother-daughter book She Deserves Better, and these are a lot of the questions that we’re raising (and some of the things we tried to measure in our survey to teen girls). And now I’d like to know what you think! So let’s talk in the comments.

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Sheila is determined to help Christians find BIBLICAL, HEALTHY, EVIDENCE-BASED help for their marriage. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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