Ever noticed that most marriage books center the majority of their advice on women?

And most instructions for how to get marriages to change focus on what women can do differently.

Today on the Bare Marriage podcast, we’re focusing on WHY the advice is often aimed at women, and the underlying problems that reveals. Plus we’re talking to a university professor who has changd her curriculum for next September to focus on The Great Sex Rescue instead of Every Man’s Battle!

This post should have been up last Thursday, but we had a comedy of errors last week. First Katie, who does my editing and uploading, lost power for 24 hours, so we couldn’t get it up in time. I thought I’d just put this post out on Friday. But then the Josh Duggar verdict came down, and I had something important to say about that, and it was getting a ton of attention, and I didn’t want a new blog post to supersede it. So I decided to wait until Monday to put up the podcast! (Though it was up on social media already).

So here, at long last, is the podcast!

Or, as always, you can watch on YouTube:


If you’re watching on YouTube, you’ll see that Rebecca is still really pregnant. We recorded this one before the baby was born last month!

Main Segment: Why do Christians address most marriage advice to women?

We came up with a couple of reasons, including women buying more relationship books for a variety of reasons; women having less power in the relationship and so needing advice on how to change dynamics; and more.

We also talked about how much advice tells women just to pray or let go of all expectations, as if that will magically change things. God doesn’t force someone to change against their will, but we act like, if we pray hard enough, He will. He can change circumstances and soften and harden hearts, but ultimately people retain free will. But the advice about prayer often sounds like the opposite.

And all of this was prompted by an article by Barbara Rainey saying essentially that if you don’t believe your husband is a spiritual leader, you just need to be believe he is and treat him like he is–which is manifestation belief, and not a Christian belief. It’s all very strange.

How Universities are changing how they teach about marriage

I had such an encouraging email conversation with Nicole Parker a while back. She teaches counseling at a Christian university, and has been struggling for twenty years to find books that she likes to assign as textbooks. After reading The Great Sex Rescue, she finally found a book she could wholeheartedly recommend, and she’s tossing Every Man’s Battle and others from her list!

Listen in to our conversation about her vision for what she teaches. I got goosebumps at the end!

What if you're NOT the problem with your sex life?

What if the messages that you've been taught have messed things up--and what if there's a way to escape these toxic teachings?

It's time for a Great Sex Rescue.

Things Mentioned in This Podcast:

Extra info from our main segment:

Why is So Much Marriage Advice Aimed at Women?

What do you think? Why is so much advice aimed at women? Let’s talk in the comments!

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Sheila is determined to help Christians find BIBLICAL, HEALTHY, EVIDENCE-BASED help for their marriage. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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