The Bare Marriage Podcast is back for Season 4! And we thought we’d start with a little victory dance.

I didn’t actually know this was season 4, but Katie (my daughter who does all the editing for the podcasts) informed me that we were now starting season 4. So yay!

After taking a month off, Rebecca and I are back to give a big picture look at what we see happening in the evangelical world as we talk about sex and marriage. And there’s a lot to be encouraged about. (Plus some things you just have to laugh at!)

Or, as always, you can watch on YouTube:


Main Segment: Let’s Do a Victory Dance!

Rebecca and I quickly run through some of the cool things that have happened over the last few weeks since we stopped recording podcasts.

  • Matthew West was made to take down his Modest is Hottest video (I was quoted in a Religious News Service article about that).
  • A number of people sent in personal stories about standing up to summer camps with shaming dress codes for girls, or speaking up to their churches about Love & Respect
  • The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast covered toxic teaching in the church about sex

Want to bring up your concerns to your church?

Access a quick synopsis of the findings from The Great Sex Rescue survey, with some quick stats–along with our rubric of healthy sexuality teaching and our scorecard.

Then use it to bring your concerns to church leadership!

Question: Why do many men assume women are hitting on them when women smile?

A funny sidenote came out of that Mars Hill podcast: they shared a quick anecdote where James Dobson said that he was at a stoplight when a woman smiled at him. He knew she was propositioning him for sex. She then turned down a side street, and he knew he was supposed to follow–but he didn’t take the bait.

Twitter erupted wanting to dissect this. So we invited Laura Robinson, a Duke University PhD candidate in New Testament, to come on the podcast with us. She wrote a few incredible threads about how this would actually play out in real life if it happened (Imagine him pulling up in her driveway after following her and then saying, “do we do sex now?” I think police would soon be involved).

We try to get to the bigger issues of why it is that it’s assumed that women are hitting on men all the time. (not saying it doesn’t happen–but it is often assumed when it’s not).

Big Picture Question: Are We Going Through a Fourth (or Second, or Sixth) Reformation?

Of course it depends how you measure these things, but it seems as if every 400-500 years something big happens to disrupt the church as a whole, and changes the direction. The last huge change was the Protestant Reformation. Could we be going through another such change again?

Rebecca and I read a few comments from the blog that show the chaos that we’re experiencing as a wider faith community. Some people are “deconstructing” and leaving evangelicalism for mainline churches. Some are deconstructing and staying in evangelical churches. Some are deconstructing and leaving Jesus altogether.

We know that many of you are deconstructing; we want to show that you can do this and still hold on to Jesus, and I do think that’s part of what this podcast is for. With millennials and Generation Z leaving the church in droves, we want to show that there is another way.

And so we ask some big picture questions about church and faith right now, and I hope you enjoy the discussion!

Things Mentioned in This Podcast:


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Sex and the New Reformation
Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Sheila is determined to help Christians find BIBLICAL, HEALTHY, EVIDENCE-BASED help for their marriage. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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