We’re in a new season of our podcast–and we’ve decided to change the name!

Well, really we’re going through a rebranding process that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, but couldn’t because I relied on Google so much for my income (that’s changed in the last year, so now we can finally do it!).

One of my most popular facebook posts and tweets from 2020 was actually my very last one, when I said this:

Yep. We’re rebranding!

And we’ve decided to start with the podcast, which will now be known as the Bare Marriage Podcast. 

I know everyone knows me as To Love, Honor and Vacuum, and that name made sense in 2008 when I started this blog. It was the name of my first book, and it had a very important subtitle which explained it: When you feel more like a maid than a wife and a mother. It was about how to make marriage feel less like a to-do list and more like a relationship.

But over the years as I’ve morphed more into talking about sex, it didn’t make any more sense. And it had a weird connotation. 

So we’re starting with the podcast, and we’re hoping to rebrand the whole blog in the next few months. But that takes some time on the back end! 

(And by the way: nothing will change for you all. My blog will just automatically forward to the new URL, and all the posts will stay the same, and you really won’t notice a difference except for the new name). 

In this first podcast of the year, Rebecca and I explain the name change, and then we launch into some questions!

So listen in:

And you can watch on YouTube, too:


Don’t forget to subscribe to me on YouTube, so you’ll see whenever we put up new videos, because sometimes we post stuff that isn’t even podcasts.

Timeline of the Podcast:

(with Rebecca)
0:41 We reveal our NEW name!
2:33 Why we want to strip everything ‘bare’.
11:40 The ‘authority’ message has distorted the church
23:11 The institutionalized church is NOT the problem.
(with Keith)
24:35 Research: All about mental health, connectivity in relationships, and long-term sex!
31:18 RQ: How to I have a healthy view of men/sex with my tough job?
35:15 The importance of healthy routines and people around you
38:51 Why we need to replace BAD with GOOD.

Main Segment: Why the new name?

“Bare” Marriage certainly has a sex connotation. That’s why we used the name for our big survey project last winter!

But it’s more than that. Like I was talking about last week in my post on scattering stones, it’s about stripping marriage of all the weird and negative teaching we’ve been given, and getting back to the basics of what life is about–Jesus Christ and Him crucified. He is who we follow.

Rebecca and I get rather passionate about this, and share the Scripture that’s been most important to us as we think about this.

If you want to read more about what we’re talking about, I highly recommend Rebecca Davis’ article on how your pastor isn’t Moses. (I didn’t mention this in the podcast; I just think it’s good).

New Research Segment: What do political views have to do with sex as a senior?

The famous Harvard long-term study on happiness, which I’ve written about before, was a longitudinal study of a cohort of men they followed for fifty years. And one interesting finding was that conservatives tended to stop having sex earlier than liberals did once they entered the senior years.

Keith and I had fun talking about this–and no, we don’t think it’s all about Democrats vs. Republicans. And we really didn’t get political in this! We think it has more to do with people’s views of relationships.

Reader Question: How can I keep a positive view of sex when everything around me is ugly?

A reader wrote in asking:


What are some practical (and smart) ways that I can develop a healthier, more positive view of sexuality? For background, I’m a woman in my early 20s, I’ve never been in a serious relationship, and I work/study in a field that deals with a lot of heavy stuff like domestic violence, rape, abuse, etc. As a result, I’ve developed issues with vicarious trauma and my own sexual self-image and my view of sex and intimacy have been strongly affected. Although consciously I have a healthy view of/interest in sex, and am very educated on the subject, I still have serious trouble untangling consensual, pleasurable, life-giving sex from the opposite, which is what I’m exposed to more often just because of my field (which I am very passionate about and feel called to be in, so abandoning it isn’t a viable option). I desperately want this to change, because it’s actually a big reason I’m chronically single and it also fuels my anxiety disorder.

I can really relate to her problem! Keith and I gave our thoughts, but I’d love to hear yours in the comments, too.

Things Mentioned in the Podcast

What if you're NOT the problem with your sex life?

What if the messages that you've been taught have messed things up--and what if there's a way to escape these toxic teachings?

It's time for a Great Sex Rescue.

Bare Marriage Rebranding Podcast

So there you go! i’d love to know what you think about how to keep a positive view of sex, too. Or anything else you’d like to comment on! Let’s talk below.

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Sheila is determined to help Christians find BIBLICAL, HEALTHY, EVIDENCE-BASED help for their marriage. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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