How Can You Make Your Husband Feel Good for Valentine’s Day?
Romance is in the air–or, if it’s not at your house, maybe you can sprinkle it there! Because Valentine’s Day lands on a Top 10 Tuesday for my blog, I was debating what I should write about. And then it came to me. Yesterday I was challenging those of us in good marriages not to be THAT wife–that wife who waits for him to sweep her off of her feet, or who waits for him to do just the right thing so she’s not disappointed. I challenged us to make sure our husbands felt loved this Valentine’s Day, too. Then I remembered something else. I have a lot of posts on this blog on how to make sex feel great for HER (or for you, really!). And it makes sense, because let’s face it: usually, when you’re making love, no matter what you do he ends up satisfied in bed, while often you’re left unsatisfied. So it seems like we women need more help in that department. But just because he’s often satisfied doesn’t mean that we can’t turn up the notch and make sex feel even better!
So today let’s talk about that–10 tips for making your husband feel satisfied in bed.
Note: this is going to be a technical post. I’m going to say words I don’t say too often on this blog. But I think women want this kind of help, and we certainly don’t want to go to Google for it. So I hope you all understand if I get a little more descriptive today, as I try to help YOU make him feel amazing. I’ll still try to be tasteful! And I know many single women are here on this blog to learn things about marriage. I’d recommend leaving this post until you are married, because it is very explicit! Here goes–how to make your husband have a great time in bed:
1. Change positions for different stimulation
In some positions you’ll feel tighter, which will be nice for him. In some he’ll be able to go deeper. In some he’ll be able to feel other parts of you more easily (which he may really like). If, for your own pleasure, you need to be in one position to climax, that’s okay! Just start in a different position, and then switch later. (If you want a fun, non X-rated book on different positions, the Sock Monkey Kama Sutra is hilarious. And it will make you guys laugh. And hey, they’re just sock monkeys). Now here are two particular positions that can really help:
2. Put your legs up higher
One of the things that feels amazing as a guy is to be able to thrust in as deeply as possible. In the missionary position, if you put your legs up on his shoulders, this gives him the ability to thrust a lot more. (Please, get comfortable first! And if this hurts, then DON’T do it.) If he’s in more of a kneeling position, you can even just put your legs up around his waist for a similar effect that may be easier to maintain (keeping your legs up that high for that long can sometimes make them fall asleep).
3. Climb on top of your husband and take the pressure off
I’m not talking about taking physical pressure off. I mean taking psychological pressure off. When you’re the one on top, you’re more in control. In other positions, he’s the one doing the moving, and chances are he’s thinking about what he needs to do to make you feel good. In this position, you have most of the power, so you can think about satisfying him without him worry about satisfying you. He can literally lie back and enjoy it! (Also, he can use his hands in more interesting ways.)
4. Squeeze him
This one he will LOVE! Do you know how to do a Kegel exercise? That’s where you squeeze your vaginal muscles to learn how to control them. If you’re not sure what those muscles are, they’re the same ones that you would use to cut off the flow of urine. You can do those exercises periodically, like squeeze 5 times every time you’re at a stop sign, for instance. Anyway, if you can learn how to use those muscles, then when he starts getting super excited, and close to climax, start squeezing him inside you rhythmically. It’ll put him over the top!
Are you ready to spice things up?
5. Squeeze his testicles (gently!)
Speaking of squeezing, in certain positions (like when you’re on top) and your hands are free and more able to reach things, try putting gentle pressure on his testicles. You have to be careful with this one, and it depends on your man, but many guys enjoy this. You’ll have to ask him to teach you, and the pressure that he wants may vary depending on how close he is to climax. But ask him!
6. Have a quickie
Here’s another one to take pressure off! Every now and then, have sex just to see how fast he can be satisfied. The benefits? He can totally just enjoy you. And YOU get to see how powerful you really are.
7. Take it nice and slow–break up the pleasure
But for real pleasure, drag it out. Here’s how it works best. Think of your guy as having three stages during making love: getting going, super excited, and then transitioning to almost reaching climax. Learn how to identify each of those three stages. Then, when he’s almost at the transitioning stage, stop making love and switch positions or slow things right down. There are several ways to handle this: Order him to stop moving. Make him stop, and he’ll likely almost want to cry. Now ask him to tell you what he wants to do. That will be exquisitely frustrating for him. Then, when you think he’s had enough, let him move again. Repeat as often as you like! YOU keep moving. You can also tell him he can’t move while you get to move. Work things so they feel great for you, but not necessarily as intense for him. Then you can let him move again for a bit. Switch positions. When he seems super excited, stop, take a breather, and switch positions. This makes the immediate stimulation go down a bit and drags everything out. When you drag things out, then when he finally does climax it’s even more intense.
Just because he’s often satisfied doesn’t mean that we can’t turn up the notch and make sex feel even better!
8. Whisper in his ear
To make sex awesome, try to use as many senses as possible. Use hearing! Whisper in his ear (whispering is really sexy). Even tell him in detail what you’re enjoying that he’s doing. And don’t forget to use his name! Hearing his own name coming from you, when he’s in the midst of incredible pleasure, is even more erotic because it’s so personal.
9. Leave the lights on–or give a bit of a show!
Speaking of senses, don’t forget to let him see you! Try starting out wearing something really lacy and revealing. Or leave the lights on so that he can enjoy watching you while you make love.
10. Let him see your face when you reach climax
Finally, here’s the most intense. It’s not intense physically. It’s intensely personal, and that actually makes us feel much closer emotionally, which translates into more intense making love sessions. Let him actually see your face when you climax. Even look in his eyes. When we release the oxytocin “bonding” hormone when we make love, we feel so close. And when you can look right at him at that moment, it’s almost like imprinting with geese. You know how baby geese will think the first thing they see moving is its mother? Well, the thing that we see when we make love is what we’re more drawn to. So let him see your face. It’s really vulnerable and can even seem awkward. But it draws you together so much. So there you go–10 tips to make your husband super satisfied in bed. I hope they help, and I hope you have an amazing Valentine’s Day! And if sex has mostly been about you, and you are trying to work up the desire to focus more on his pleasure, check out my post on that topic here!
Any other tips? Leave them in the comments–but tastefully, please. 😉
PS: Don’t forget that my Boost Your Libido course is a great way to help YOU get in the mood to make sex great–for both of you. If you want to enjoy sex more in your marriage and you yearn to want it more, you really can boost your libido! Find out here.
Sign up for our emails and get access to the TLHV free marriage and parenting resource library. We have over 25 downloads and are constantly adding more. Sign up here!