How do our attachment styles–or love styles–affect our marriage?

This month on the blog we’re talking all about attachment styles. So often we think that our marriage problems are about communication, or habits, or normal conflicts. But what if they’re rooted in how we learned to connect with people?

And even more importantly–what if, by understanding our own love style, we can actually grow?

Today on the Bare Marriage podcast I was thrilled to interview Milan and Kay Yerkovich, the authors of the book How We Love!

Or, as always, you can watch on YouTube:


Timeline of the Podcast

0:10 Announcments
1:25 Interview with the Yerkovichs
3:10 Explaining the origins
9:30 The 5 Imprints/Connectors
39:30 How Connectors Collide & How to work through things
50:40 Everything you can find at HowWeLove.com !

How We Love explains how our love styles impact our marriage.

Last week I wrote about our love styles, and so many of you told me you found this concept so helpful. So I know you’re going to love this podcast! It’s all based on the book How We Love:

How We Love by Yerkovichs

In the podcast, Milan and Kay walk us through what attachment styles mean, and then talk about what the five love styles are like.

They then show us how understanding our love styles can help us grow in our marriage, and can help us finally feel connected to our spouse. Plus we can put an end to all those recurring fights we so often have!

And you’re going to love their role play!

We also talked about what to do if one person wants to explore this and thinks it has merit, but the other spouse doesn’t want to look into it. So good!

Support this Podcast with Knix Bras!

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I'm an affiliate for Knix, and when you buy their bras or underwear or clothing I get a percentage. I want to make enough to start paying to transcribe this podcast! And I'm only promoting stuff I absolutely love myself.

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Knix Bras

Things Mentioned in This Podcast:

  • Knix in Canada and Knix in the U.S.  Canadian customers get $15 off right away! And these honestly are awesome bras, and you’ll love the leakproof underwear too.
  • The Orgasm Course! If you’ve ever wondered what all the fuss is about, and you wonder why everyone is having fun but you–then don’t miss out. You deserve more.
  • The book How We Love, plus Milan and Kay’s site How We Love, with so much information. There are quizzes you can take, courses you can sign up for, and more. 
  • My post on the 5 Love Styles
Podcast of the Yerkovichs How We Love

Do you know your love style? Have you found this discussion of attachment theory helpful for your marriage? Let’s talk in the comments!

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Sheila is determined to help Christians find BIBLICAL, HEALTHY, EVIDENCE-BASED help for their marriage. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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