If we had had these Great Sex Guides before we got married, there would be no Great Sex Rescue.
No To Love, Honor and Vacuum blog. No Bare Marriage podcast.
Why? Because we wouldn’t have had years of pain that we had to untangle from, so I wouldn’t have started writing. In 2012, I wouldn’t have wanted to write the original Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex as the “anti” Act of Marriage, the opposite of the book that had scarred me so deeply before we got married.
I guess the lesson is that God uses our pain and redeems it, which is good.
But let me tell you–I believe that these books will PREVENT that pain in so many other couples!
Before I was married, I was excited about sex.
I didn’t have hang-ups. I was pretty well educated on sex and body parts and what was going to happen. But when I read The Act of Marriage, it was like a switch went off in my body and everything changed. Keith says he actually saw it at our wedding reception–the moment panic struck. And it was because, in that book, my agency was taken away. I was told that sex was now my duty, and I had to do it for Keith or he couldn’t feel loved.
And I felt so empty and scared.
After doing our survey of 20,000 women, I know that that set me on the road to vaginismus (which evangelical women suffer from at twice the rate of the general population), and set us up for years of hurt.
So I wrote the original Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, to help women relax.
To help women realize that sex was for them too! To help women feel like they were important.
But over the years, as we’ve surveyed 25,000 people and listened to thousands of comments, I knew it was time for a rewrite. So I begged Zondervan to let me. They didn’t pay me a cent. This was a huge part of my last year, and I didn’t get paid anything for it–and the old version was still selling well! But I wanted couples to start as well as possible.
And Keith and I wrote The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex from scratch–and I totally love that book!
These books need to become the go-to books at wedding showers!
They need to become the books we use in premarital counseling (and there are questions in the back of the books that couples can use premaritally too, as well as questions for couples who are already married).
Seriously–if all new couples got these books, instead of the others, we could make The Great Sex Rescue obsolete.
We could save couples the pain that I went through–and that you may have as well.
Sex is wonderful, but the way we’ve talked about it is not. We can change that.
The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex have all the sex ed couples need to know–how the reproductive system works, a huge glossary, how sex actually works, and, of course, the sexual response cycle!
But we don’t stop there. We also talk about how to grow your friendship and emotional connection in the bedroom, and how to feel intimate, like you’re one. We tackle porn use, dissociation, fantasy, and trauma, and how those can be dealt with. We tackle navigating libido differences without myths, but with research. And we even tackle mental load!
If you’ve never figured out the physical side of sex, these are awesome books to get you started in the right direction. And these make amazing gifts for any couple about to marry.
Today is launch day.
It would tickle me pink if we sold a bunch today and showed the publisher these are books worth investing in! And it would make me even happier to know that thousands of couples are getting the help they deserve.
The All New Guides to Great Sex!
Imagine building a great sex life--from the ground up!
What would it look like to build a picture of sex that was MUTUAL, INTIMATE, and PLEASURABLE FOR BOTH--with no harmful messages?
Welcome to the The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and the ALL NEW Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex.
Get them NOW!
And let's make these the go-to wedding shower gifts!
Thanks for being with me on this journey. It’s been a long two years as we’ve written three books–with a fourth almost done (our mother-daughter book). But I love hearing the feedback from the launch team about how these books are helping already!
How bad was your pre-marital advice regarding sex? How can we do this better? Let’s talk in the comments!
Sheila Wray Gregoire
Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum
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