At what point do we realize that something is terribly off with the way the evangelical church sees women?

Today, on the Start Your Engines men’s focus of the podcast for the last Thursday of the month, Keith talks about his manifesto from yesterday and encourages men to see what is happening and jump out of the boiling water.

He got pretty passionate about this!

Or, as always, you can watch on YouTube:


Timeline of the Podcast

0:10 Updates
2:50 Jumping out of the boiling water
16:00 The twittersphere discussions
22:00 Why Sheila criticizes
28:00 Research on remarriage
33:15 RQ: The tie breaker issue
44:00 Closing announcement–Launch team is starting next week!

Main Segment: How Did We Get to this Point in the Evangelical Church?

Whether it’s blaming women for men’s lust, or saying that men can’t do basic Christian things unless their wives go out of their way to encourage the guys (even though the wives are doing these basic things all the time), we’ve gotten to the point where we expect so little of men and so much of women.

And that naturally leads to excusing abuse. 

Keith elaborates on his post, and you can hear his passion asking the church to get back to Jesus!

Research: Why do men remarry more than women after divorce? 

Rebecca joins us as we look at research that shows that men are more likely to remarry after a divorce. We discuss how many women feel that life alone is actually easier, especially if they’re coming out of a traumatic marriage. 

What should this teach us about how we’re doing marriage?

Reader Question: What if We’re at a Stalemate?

A woman writes in saying that she agrees with what I’ve been saying about submission, but she’s at a loss as to what to do when she and her husband arrive at a stalemate. She writes:

My husband is a good man, but slowly over several decades, we have gone from intense and passionate lovers, to barely even enjoying being roommates. Our different opinions on how the house should be, how the kids should be parented, etc. etc. has become a wall between us. He resents me for being strong and standing up when I believe something is wrong. He says I am not being a supportive wife and definitely not a helpmeet. I told him “being a helpmeet means HELPING! If I see you about to drive off a cliff I am not going to compliment what a good job you are are doing driving. I’m going to scream TURN NOW!”

However the problem that comes up, which your show failed to discuss and I am so hopeful you have advice… is what to do when we disagree and there isn’t really a compromise that can be reached? My mindset cannot give over the “there has to be a final say and a final person in charge.” Otherwise nothing gets done/changed. For example:

I want to take my daughter with me to a family funeral out of state. My husband says no. His reasons are valid. So are mine.
I want to change the formal dining room into a quiet reading room (or some sort of room rather than formal dining), but husband says it stays a formal dining room (even though we never use it!). So either we argue or it stays.

How do we BOTH deprogram ourselves? We need examples of HOW to work things out in a healthy relationship (like you and your husband – I loved hearing BOTH sides of this issue!!!).

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Podcast: End Misogyny in the Evangelical church

What do you think? Are stalemates more common if you believe men are the tie breaker? Why do women not remarry like men do? Let’s talk in the comments!

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Sheila is determined to help Christians find BIBLICAL, HEALTHY, EVIDENCE-BASED help for their marriage. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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