It’s the last Bare Marriage podcast of 2021!

And thank you for joining us this year! Today on the podcast we hear Rachel Perry’s story of vaginismus, and then I get cozy in my yellow chair where I work and just tell you how I see the Christmas story interacting with our own (and yours!). 

Listen in:

Or, as always, you can watch on YouTube:


Timeline of the Podcast

1:30 Rachel Joins!
2:45 Growing up in purity culture
6:30 Experiences within the medical field
17:00 Some of the ‘whys’
24:45 Her husband’s journey through it
30:30 Rachel’s experience with TGSR
34:40 Sheila shares her heart from 2021, and her hopes for 2022


Main Segment: The Disease that Must Be Named

Yesterday I shared a bit of my story of vaginismus, and introduced you to Rachel’s story. I invite you to read Rachel’s whole story of vaginismus; she’s written it up beautifully.

She talks here about discovering she had vaginismus and her search for a cure–which took several years. And now, as she looks back, she’s starting to connect the dots as to why she suffered as she did.

Let’s share this and talk about it more. We need to normalize the word “vaginismus”, so that next time a young woman experiences this, she won’t feel like a freak, like she’s the only one or that there’s no name for what she’s going through. We found an incidence rate of 22.6% in the evangelical population, which is HUGE for a condition no one knows about. It’s far more common than erectile dysfunction in couples under the age of 40. And in The Great Sex Rescue, we show you some of the reasons why it’s so much more common in Christian circles than in other ones (and it all stems to our toxic teaching on sex).

When Light and Truth Come, So Does Disruption

I then end the year looking back at some of the things we’ve experienced since The Great Sex Rescue released, and also inviting you to ponder the story of Mary and Joseph anew. Light and Grace and Truth was coming into the world, and yet it created great disruption in their lives. They had to leave their comfort zone. They left their families. They likely felt abandoned by those they knew best. They couldn’t stay in one place, and kept having to find a new home.

Isn’t that what it’s like with us? When God does big things and reveals good things, it often disrupts our relationships; our community; our comfort zone.

That’s what we’ve experienced this year, and I talk about those who have discouraged us and those who have encouraged us, and how we are forging new communities. But it’s been hard–and the encouragement that so many of you have given us has gotten us through it, so thank you.

And check out our amazing merch before it’s too late for Christmas!


Things Mentioned in This Podcast:


Vaginismus Podcast

Have you ever experienced disruption when you leaned more towards light and truth? Have you had a homeless year? Or what’s your experience with vaginismus? Let’s talk in the comments!

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Sheila is determined to help Christians find BIBLICAL, HEALTHY, EVIDENCE-BASED help for their marriage. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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