We’re so excited to have Kristin Kobes Du Mez join the podcast today!

Kristin is the author of a book that is getting a ton of buzz–Jesus and John Wayne. Interestingly, The Great Sex Rescue is often recommended by Amazon to people who buy Jesus and John Wayne, so I guess people are buying both of our books together!

Kristin looks at the history of evangelical culture, specifically in the United States, where militaristic, chauvinistic, and cutthroat male behavior became the standard for evangelicalism, rather than love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.

Plus Becca and I talk about how to find a church when you’re disillusioned, and Katie joins us for something funny!

So listen in:

See the Last “Start Your Engines” (Men’s) Podcast

Or, as always, you can watch on YouTube:


Timeline of the Podcast:

0:45 Kristin Kobes Du Mez joins us to talk Jesus and John Wayne
40:15 Rebecca and I tackle a reader question about finding a mentor
45:50 Katie joins us for something lighthearted!
53:45 Some encouragement for The Great Sex Rescue

Main Segment: Jesus and John Wayne

Kristin and I have gotten to know each other well on Twitter, and she was kind enough to write a review for The Great Sex Rescue (It’s on the back of our book!). And this week Jesus and John Wayne is available in paperback–so it’s a great week to order it!

Rebecca and I fan girled a bit in this interview. We really love Kristin and what she’s doing, and she’s so fearless when people come after her on Twitter and she doesn’t let it get to her. So we have a lot to learn from her!

Jesus and John Wayne

Many of you have been asking me to have Kristin on the podcast, and we did record this a few weeks ago (before my hair got way too long. But we’re still locked down and I can’t get a haircut!). Kristin’s been on a ton of podcasts, and we decided to focus in our interview on her chapter on sex, and talk with her about some of the things that we saw as well. That doesn’t get mentioned in most of the podcasts she does, so we thought this may be a little different!

Reader Question: How do I find a mentor when my church is crazy?

A young woman wrote in with this question:

As someone who grew up with horrendously abusive parents and has cut them off from any future opportunity to harm me (best decision of my life), I need an older man/woman in my life that I can lean on.

However, I find myself TERRIFIED to trust any “Christian” who is also spiritually abusive. And I also haven’t been impressed with the selection of psychologists I’ve been to, either. My parents were high-profile “Christians” and had every person fooled, on the outside. I don’t attend church (though I’d love to feel like I am loved and belong!), as I’ve been to many different Evangelical churches (all different denominations) and have been completely discouraged by the terrible examples of Christ’s love I’ve witnessed. Even at “Christian” university. It happens time and again, even though I’m trying to be gracious and hope for the best.

I certainly don’t aim for perfection in others, but do expect myself and all who call themselves followers of Jesus to take up our cross and die to self, demonstrating active love for others.

I love that your family recently spoke about your year of church homelessness and Becca’s righteous indignation (LOVED IT!!!:) about the people in the pews being the ones to follow Christ, instead of the leaders.

I am asking this question in light of your personal experience (as a family) – not being able to trust most leaders, backlash from “churches,” lack of Christ-like love, covering up and diminishing sin.

I genuinely feel alone like Job, Noah, and Elijah (when he was in the cave, feeling rejected). Jesus certainly experienced SO much more rejection. So what should I do?? Where can I turn to find mature believers?

Becca and I tackle this one!

And as an aside, you may remember Lexi, the woman who recorded Mark Gungor when she confronted him about mishandling her sexual abuse. She just graduated from college, and she doesn’t have very much family support since she turned on Mark Gungor’s church. If you want to support her by sending her a graduation gift or contributing to Paypal, I know she’d appreciate it.

Katie joins us for some behind the scenes look at our family!

Katie just made what I think is her funniest video living our her “dream” of becoming a model on the cover of a Christian romance novel. The photo shoot with David is hilarious, but then, halfway through this video, she gets on Facetime with Rebecca and me as we brainstorm titles and plots for all of these books, and then create the covers.

It’s fabulous.

And this is honestly what our family is like in the evenings!

Things Mentioned in This Podcast:

Jesus and John Wayne podcast with Kristin Kobes Du Mez
Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Sheila is determined to help Christians find BIBLICAL, HEALTHY, EVIDENCE-BASED help for their marriage. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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