We simply MUST change the way we talk about women in the church, because what is happening is DANGEROUS.

In today’s podcast, we look at two examples of the dangerous ways we can talk about women: Steve Arterburn and the Every Man’s Battle team portraying women as “enemies” in your battle against lust; and Emerson Eggerichs gaslighting abuse victims in his sermons.

Today is the last Thursday of the month when we tend to focus on men’s stuff, but this podcast is really great for both men and women!

Or, as always, you can watch on YouTube:


Timeline of the Podcast

0:52 The Book is out, guys!
1:40 What the News can Tell us About the Church
8:00 Keith and Connor give testimony that it is NOT every man’s battle
14:54 We set up a Patreon!
16:09 Our Copyright drama
20:11 Walking through the sermon with transformative critique
58:05 What we’re prepared to do for our voice not to be silenced
1:01:58 Closing off with a man’s review of our book!

Why we have to address these issues

Ever since The Great Sex Rescue was released three weeks ago, high ranking people in the evangelical church have been upset with us because we’re taking on big name authors and saying that what they’ve written has hurt women. We surveyed 20,000 women for our book, and measured how the things that are taught about sex and gender dynamics in these books impact women’s sexual and marital satisfaction. We have the numbers.

What if you're NOT the problem with your sex life?

What if the messages that you've been taught have messed things up--and what if there's a way to escape these toxic teachings?

It's time for a Great Sex Rescue.

Nevertheless, some have been upset at us, and last week Emerson Eggerichs put a copyright infringement notice against a video on YouTube where I commented on clips of his sermons at Houston’s First Baptist, and put a copyright claim on my Twitter account.

I decided that it was time that the people who are trying to silence us understand that we aren’t going to be silenced.

We will always be fair. We will simply quote what they have said or written, and we will, when possible, link back to original material. And this is not personal, about them as people. This is only about what they have written and what they are teaching. When bad ideas in the church are hurting people, we need to allow people to see that the ideas are bad and reject them!

We do not want to cancel these authors; in my mind, the best case, win-win scenario would be that they repent, recant of what they taught in the past, and start teaching healthy things. After all, they already have the platform! If they started teaching healthy things, it would make such a difference! I don’t mind if they still earn a ton of money and get a ton of speaking engagements–as long as they’re teaching what is healthy. 

I would also point them to this discussion in Acts 5 among the Sanhedrin, when they were trying to figure out what to do with the apostles who were preaching things they didn’t like:

When they heard this, they were furious and wanted to put them to death. But a Pharisee named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law, who was honored by all the people, stood up in the Sanhedrin and ordered that the men be put outside for a little while. Then he addressed the Sanhedrin: “Men of Israel, consider carefully what you intend to do to these men. Some time ago Theudas appeared, claiming to be somebody, and about four hundred men rallied to him. He was killed, all his followers were dispersed, and it all came to nothing. After him, Judas the Galilean appeared in the days of the census and led a band of people in revolt. He too was killed, and all his followers were scattered. Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

Acts 5:33-39

I want to say to these authors, if what I am saying isn’t true, you have nothing to fear from me. If you are sure what you’re saying is true, then defend it. Keep speaking. Keep writing. But there’s no point in trying to silence me. If I’m wrong, that will become evident.

But if I’m right, you’ll be fighting against God. And nobody wants to do that.

Instead of summarizing what we said in the podcast today, I’d encourage you to click on the links below. Much of what we said was covered in some of the blog posts from the last week, and you can read most of it there.

I just want to add one question: one thing that we haven’t discussed yet, despite the many comments on the post yesterday, was why no one on staff at Houston’s First Baptist recognized that these sermons were problematic? (some parishioners did; they sent me the links after trying to talk to staff about it). How do we help churches understand that talking about abuse like this from the pulpit is dangerous? This church actually has licensed counselors on staff. How could this have got past them? I don’t understand.

Things Mentioned in This Podcast:

On Gaslighting Abuse Victims by Emerson Eggerichs Podcast

What do you think? Is the conversation changing? Is there hope? And how do we get churches to realize that sermons like Eggerichs’ are dangerous? Let’s talk in the comments!

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Sheila is determined to help Christians find BIBLICAL, HEALTHY, EVIDENCE-BASED help for their marriage. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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