Today, the updated 31 Days to Great Sex launches again!
For years, I published it myself, and it sold wonderfully. But I decided that I wanted it to go bigger than just my blog, so I sold it to Zondervan, and then updated it, changed some of the challenges based on the feedback I’ve had over the years, and added a ton of supplementary ideas and tips!
And I REALLY love it.
And, after being unavailable for six months, you can get it again–along with all the new bells and whistles!
One of the things I always say when I’m introducing the book is that it’s 31 Days TO Great Sex, not 31 Days OF Great Sex.
And today, as it relaunches, I thought it would be a great time to explain the difference!
Have you ever heard of those week-long sex challenges, or the month-long sex challenges? You know the ones I’m talking about…where you’re supposed to have sex for 7 days straight, or 31 days straight, or however many days someone decides is a good idea.
But when you do that, you’re making an assumption: the problem with our sex life is frequency, and the problem with our marriage is not enough sex. If we increase the frequency, then everything will get better.
What if frequency is not the problem? Or, if it’s one of the problems (and it often is), what if there are plenty of other problems, too?
When I originally wrote 31 Days to Great Sex back in 2012, I did so for the launch of my new book, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. in that book, I was explaining how God made sex to be physically awesome, yes, but also to be emotionally and spiritually intimate as well. We’re supposed to have fireworks, sure, but we’re also supposed to be feel close and laugh together. We’re also supposed to feel completely and totally one.
Great sex is not only about frequency. Great sex is about your sex life reflecting a fun, intimate relationship, and then in turn feeding that fun, intimate relationship.
Simply having sex doesn’t guarantee you much of anything, especially if sex is ho hum.
Or even tense.
But BUILDING great sex on a foundation of feeling close, trust, and fun means that you can talk about the hard stuff. You can feel vulnerable enough with each other that you can let your guard down and try new things. You can get rid fo the roadblocks that make you so nervous or tense or even just ticked off.
Because great sex is great because it’s built on a solid relationship–and then it fuels that solid relationship, too. It isn’t something you can just manufacture by doing it more. We’ve got to figure out the different pieces!
That’s what I’ve designed 31 Days to Great Sex to do for you–build, little by little, so that you can experience major breakthroughs!
We start with a week of quick “wins”.
Yes, you’ll get some of those awkward conversations out of the way so that you can really talk about this stuff. But then in the first week you’ll also deal with body image issues and boost each other’s confidence, AND help both of you realize what turns her on especially.
Seriously, you may come back to Day 6 again and again!
Then we build some fun and laughter in!
How many of us stop kissing in our marriages because we don’t want to promise something we may not want to deliver later? Or we just plain stop having fun?
But laughter is often the gateway into libido! And it makes it so much easier to talk about what you want, what feels good, and even what DOESN’T feel good when the tension level is lower.
So in this week we’ll flirt, kiss, be more affectionate, and even learn how to look forward to sex at the end of the day!
Now we light fireworks!
Once you’ve started laughing and you feel closer, it’s time to unlock arousal and pleasure. This week is all about orgasm, foreplay, and just plain feeling great!
He’ll learn why foreplay isn’t optional, but you’ll also discover the secret to making it fun for both of you. And if you’ve ever felt broken because you don’t enjoy sex the way he does, you’ll learn that women weren’t designed in the same way–and you’ll learn to stop judging yourself, and start enjoying.
What about spicing things up?
The next week is all about feeling intimate and building trust, which involves two things: Learning to be totally connected while making love, but also learning to have real passion and let go by spicing things up! We’ll look at how to decide sexual boundaries, and how to make sure you care for each other, even while exploring.
Keep the momentum going
You’ve had breakthroughs this month, but you don’t want them to end. So the last week is super, super practical, looking at what changes you can put in place so that your sex life continues to be fun, frequent, and fueling your relationship.
That’s how the book works–small challenges that build.
You just read 3-5 pages a night together, and then do what it says. And if it takes longer than 31 Days, that’s okay, too! Check it out.
I know you’re on this blog because you want an awesome marriage and sex life.
You don’t want to settle for mediocre.
And everyday I write about what often goes wrong in marriage, and how we can build our marriage up. I write about what goes into a great sex life.
But information can only take you so far. And that’s why I’ve tried to create a super practical guide that helps you put so much of what you read here into practice.
With 31 Days to Great Sex, you’ll:
- Ignite your spouse’s libido–and your own
- Discover which little changes bring big rewards
- Hit the reset button on your sex life, even if porn has been a factor
- Debunk Hollywood myths about sex
- Identify YOUR key to sexual breakthroughs
- Spice things up–and try new things
And the book is chock full of different ideas to fuel your fun!
Just some of the fun things you’ll learn in 31 Days to Great Sex!
- The four basic positions–and how you can make endless variations!
- 16 ways to flirt with your husband
- 10 different sexy questions he can ask his wife–including the one thing he must remember so he doesn’t inadvertently turn her off!
- The secret to great foreplay
- The 15-minute challenge that changes everything
I’m really happy with the way 31 Days to Great Sex turned out, and I hope it will help you!
By the end of the first week, you’ll know new ways to turn her on–and new ways to rev his engines! You’ll be able to talk about the rut, and dream together what passionate sex will look like. And by the end of 31 Days, you’ll feel invigorated. You’ll know that your marriage can be super fun! You’ll know that you’re not broken. And sex can stop being the thing that causes tension, and start being the thing that fuels the rest of your marriage!
I really do hope you love it–and that it transforms your marriage.
Sheila Wray Gregoire
Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum
The title of this post may sound corny, but do you remember that verse about awakening love in...
Engaged women and newlyweds often have a lot of questions about sex! What will it feel like? Will...
So sex feels terrible. You feel nothing--or maybe even some pain. So how do you look forward to...
When you have questions about sex, or you want to improve your sex life, where's the best place...
Do you have questions about sex that are super awkward? Or even just non-awkward ones, but you...
Thanks to Perifit for sponsoring today's post! We talk a lot on the blog about pelvic floor...
If a woman isn't enjoying sex, is the husband to blame? We received a comment recently from a...
If you're faking orgasm or fantasizing while you make love, should you confess to your husband?...