Want some sexy questions to ask your husband to get the party started? You’ve come to the right place!

I’m getting ready for a big series in June when we’re going to talk about emotional labor and mental load, and we’ve been talking about some pretty heavy things on the blog lately.

And so I thought it was time for a post on the steamier side today, because seriously–if you’re married, sex should be awfully fun!

And sometimes we just need a small nudge to get us going in the right direction.

So today and tomorrow I’d like to talk about some fun ways to initiate sex and turn up the heat, and let’s start with a few sexy questions that can get the sparks going again.

I first wrote these a few years ago, but most people haven’t seen them, and I’d like to run them again!

Sexy Questions to Ask Your Husband–To Get in the Right Frame of Mind

Just warming up? Want him to start thinking in a certain direction? Here are some fun conversation starters!

Dare: Make these even hotter by asking them in a restaurant or somewhere semi-public where he’ll get frustrated but he’ll have to wait. Now, DON’T do this if anyone can overhear, obviously. PLEASE. But asking him these questions while rubbing your foot along his leg? Dynamite!

Or ask them in the car on the way home from a date. See what happens when you walk in the door!

1. Guess what panties I’m wearing!

This one’s fun to ask on the phone, too!

2. What’s the last sexy dream you had?

Be ready to reply with one of your own. He’ll likely turn the tables on you!

3. If you could replay any time with me in real life, what would it be?

Find out what he’s liked the best, and then repeat it.

4. At our wedding reception, what were you thinking of doing to me?

Ask him what he was anticipating the most. And if he’s not specific, then do some follow up questions. “Were you more looking forward to X or Y? What part of my body drove you the most crazy, Y or Z?” Find out how frustrated he was waiting to leave the party!

5. When we’re making love, what position gives you your favourite view?

Then ask him why!

Now let’s turn it up a notch.

Sexy Questions to Ask Your Husband–When You’re Heating Things Up!

6. Is this too revealing?

Put on your tightest top or your shortest skirt (that you NEVER wear out of the house, of course!), or wear just a bra and a camisole. Walk by him with whatever he’s doing and bend over and ask what he thinks! Make sure to run your hands over the part that you’re “worried” about, too!

Does your marriage need some spicing up–and some fun?

Try these 24 dares–plus one bonus–to take your marriage to the next level!

7. Which affects you more?

Does he like to enjoy looking at your body? Do a little fashion show! Choose two outfits or lingerie sets and ask him which has the greater effect on him.

Bonus points: Check it out yourself! Feel what kind of an effect you’re having on him, and see which one works better! 🙂

8. Is it better like this or like this?

Put on your best innocent voice, as in “I just want to learn and I’m honestly curious”, and ask him which he likes best. Choose two parts of his body to kiss or rub, or choose one part of his body and kiss or rub it in two different ways. This one can continue as you long as you want–just keep changing what you’re doing. And keep the wide-eyed, innocent look going, as in “I’m just trying to learn, honey. Why would you suggest anything else?”

9. How fast can you go?

I like this question because it’s a way of turning the tables on a night that may not necessarily go very far for you! Let’s say that you’re a little stressed and you don’t think you can enjoy sex too much tonight. Or maybe you’re just hormonal and it’s not a great time of the month for your libido. 

If you to still have some fun, even if it’s not primarily for you, you can be the active one. Climb on top, or whisper to him, “how fast can you go?” Give him permission to not worry about pleasing you, and he can go wild.

10. Can you give me a hand in here?

Getting ready for work in the morning? Or having a late Saturday morning? Climb in the shower while he’s in the bathroom and then ask him for some help. He’d better get the hint and jump in there with you!

Choose a few and use them this week!

What if you’re just super shy and can’t seem to do it? That’s okay! Practice with some tamer flirting. Then you can work up to these! But remember: when you’re married, you have nothing to be ashamed about. You’re supposed to have fun together! He’s supposed to enjoy your body, and he’s supposed to enjoy looking at your body. And feeling like he enjoys you–that’s supposed to make us feel sexually strong, too.

So go for it!

And if you want to turn up the notch even more, take a look at my 24 Sexy Dares! 8 that you take the lead on, 8 that he takes the lead on, and 8 that you do together. Just read it and do what it says! If things are getting stale staying indoors with COVID, then let’s turn up the heat!

Do you have trouble talking about sex this openly with your husband? Let me know why in the comments! A lot of us have gone through this, and other women can probably give you some pointers!

And I have an equivalent one for guys, too–10 sexy questions husbands can ask their wives! Share this one with your hubby!


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