I need your voice.


We are about to launch a BIG project at To Love, Honor and Vacuum. We’ve just signed a contract for a new book with Baker Books, tentatively titled The Great Sex Rescue. It’s going to cover how to have amazing sex by getting over all the things holding you back.

My daughter Rebecca and our co-worker Joanna Sawatsky are all going to co-author it. We’re excited about it. We’re thrilled to pieces. We’re signing contracts even right after we’ve given birth! (well, after Rebecca’s given birth, at least).

Signing the Contract with Baker Books

But we can’t write the book until we hear from you.

We’ve been writing so much about why sex can go wrong in Christian marriages–and why it can go right. But we don’t just want to tell you what we think. We want to do actual research, so that we have numbers behind what we’re saying.

In fact, we want to do the biggest research project on sex and marriage from a Christian perspective that has ever been done.

A lofty goal?


But we think it’s doable, and so does Baker Books, who is so super excited about this project.

So, if you’re a woman who has ever been married (even if you’re divorced or widowed now), we’d be thrilled if you would take 20 minutes and fill out our survey.

Your voice matters. We need you. And we’d be so grateful if you could help with the survey!

A few quick things:

  • Want something free? When you complete the survey, you’ll get a link to an awesome “Intimacy Igniter” freebie, a four-part cumulative exercise you can do as a couple to build intimacy. Super fun!
  • Or how about winning something? When you complete the survey, you’ll also get the chance to enter a draw for 1 of 98 prizes, worth over $2000 in total, including book bundles, courses, autographed copies of books, an Amazon gift card, and more.

We’re also looking for TWO other types of people to help us:

We need women for focus groups!

At the end of the survey, you’ll be given the chance to enter your email if you’d like to be contacted to potentially be part of a focus group. We want to ask more detailed questions and get people’s stories, and if you’re willing to share that with us, that would be awesome!

(that’s the only time we’d be able to match your email with our responses; unless you choose, you will be utterly anonymous).

We need survey recruiters–and guys, you can help here, too!

We’re looking at having thousands upon thousands of people complete this survey. And we don’t want people only from my list, either. We want to reach the broader Christian community–conservative Christians, more progressive Christians, younger Christians, older Christians, Christians who don’t go to church anymore, Christians who are super involved–I feel like a Dr. Seuss book, but you know what I mean.

And so we need YOU to recruit your friends. You can post on Facebook, send out an email to 10 women, tell people in your Bible study group–whatever.

If you’d like to be part of that, just email us and we’ll get back to you with your own unique link. And then we’ve got some special incentives!

  • Once you reach 25 recruits, we’ll record some special exclusive podcasts where you can submit a question that we will answer.
  • Once you reach 50 recruits, you’ll be invited to a 2-week Voxer coaching group, where I’ll give a 15-minute message every morning to help you with your sex life, and you can submit comments, too.

AND THE GRAND PRIZE: the person who recruits the most to the survey will win ME coming to give my GIRL TALK to your church/group sometime in the next 18 months, anywhere in the United States and Canada (and seriously, I could be convinced to go to New Zealand, Australia, or the U.K., too, if you live there). I’ll waive my fee and charge 1/2 of the travel expenses.

Please allow Tammy 24 hours to get back to you with your link!



This has the potential to be a ground-breaking book.

We’re so excited.

  • Rebecca’s our psychometrics person, who is designing the survey, doing our literature review, and sketching out the chapters.
  • Joanna’s our data geek, who is way too over excited about analyzing all the results as they trickle in.
  • Together, Rebecca and Joanna will design the follow-up focus groups and more in-depth surveys with targeted groups, and choose the anecdotes and stories to include in the book.
  • And then I’m going to write it and put it altogether.

We did a soft launch of the survey on Friday, to everyone who gets my weekly emails (do you get them yet? If not, you should!). And I don’t think Joanna slept all weekend because she was so excited to have actual data to look at. After months of planning the survey, debating what questions to include, and testing it, we can finally start to see people’s answers.

Analyzing Bare Marriage Marital and Sexual Satisfaction Survey

So let her nerd out some more by filling out our survey! Thank you!


After you’ve completed the survey, you’ll get a chance to enter our prize draw, where you could win:

Sex & Marriage Survey Prizes

So here’s what I’d love it if you’d do:

  1. Take the survey. ๐Ÿ™‚ (Thank you!)

  2. Send this link to 10 friends: https://www.research.net/r/baremarriageprojectย 


  3. Email us about being a recruiter and getting your own unique link and entering our recruiting contest.

Thank you so much! With your help, this can be a treasure trove of information, and will really help us craft a great book.

Take Our Sex & Marriage Survey