It’s time for a new episode of the To Love, Honor and Vacuum podcast!

I hope you all will listen, but if you don’t have time, I’ll have some links and rabbit trails below so you can read all you want as well!

And consider these podcast “extras”, too. I often refer to them in the podcast, but here are even more resources if you want to go deeper.

But first, here’s the podcast:

Main Segment: Why you can’t be a control freak in the bedroom

I was talking yesterday on the blog about how one of the gifts that God gave women with how our bodies work with sex is that we have to be fully present. No multitasking. No worrying about anything else. Just BEING.

That is a gift. But I wonder if we don’t always understand that this is how our bodies work? Or that we simply won’t enjoy sex if we’re always trying to control everything or be perfectly proper. I talked about both of these older posts in the podcast today, and you may enjoy them, too:

Do you find it hard to talk about SEX?

Want to try new things--but don't know how to start?

No more wondering how to talk about what feels good or what you'd like to try. This fun challenge will get you talking and trying new things without the awkward.

Millennial Marriage: How are student loans holding back millennial couples

Here’s the article we were discussing:

U.S. Student Loan Debt Sets Record

Can you climb out of that kind of student loan debt–and eventually buy a house or get stable? Rebecca and I were talking today about how living a more minimalist lifestyle in your twenties is very doable–and leads to a lot less stress, too.

Some more that may help:

Reader Question: Help! I can’t turn my mind off during sex

We started out not knowing what our sex life really needed to be like and it was uncomfortable and painful for me so I pulled away at that point and didn’t really want much to do with it because it ‘didn’t work’ for me. About five years later I finally found out what an orgasm should be like! Lol but I still never had the desire to be intimate. We’ve had two kids since then, dealt with a few porn incidents on his end and worked our way through the very exhausting early parenting years. Our kids are now 4 and 7 but  Most days I’m very tired and just want to go to sleep and don’t really care to be intimate…and I feel terrible about that, but I have no idea how to change it. And lots of times I try to be intimate with him and I just can’t shut my brain off or relax enough to enjoy it at all. Please help!

Such a common question! And what I really appreciated about this one is how multifaceted everything is–she had pain during sex; she never got much pleasure out of it; he turned to porn; they have little kids; now she has no desire.

It’s never just one thing, is it? It’s always a whole pile of things!

So some practical advice in this segment. And if you’re really struggling with this, I highly recommend my Boost Your Libido course, because it takes you through exercises to help you stay “present”.

Comment for the Week: My wife thinks only one position is proper

A male reader left a comment on an older post about how he’d love for their sex life to be passionate, but his wife won’t let him really touch her or do anything except for the missionary position. If you struggle with seeing sex as a positive thing, or feeling freedom in the bedroom, please check out The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex! It gives you a new perspective on how sex is supposed to be both hot and holy at the same time, and it’s not like only one thing is okay, and everything else is somehow “dirty”. If you haven’t read it yet, you need to!

And these may help, too:

That’s it for today’s podcast! Hope you enjoyed all the “extras”. Let me know if there’s anything you want me to comment on in a future podcast!

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