So Love and Respect rocked the podcast this week.
I was planning on continuing my series on how to live life to the fullest and get rid of time wasters, and then this week all the Love & Respect posts kind of took over. So even though I had another podcast all ready, I bumped it to next week to run one today replying to all the Love & Respect posts from this week!
Love and Respect Main Segment
Last week something interesting happened. I don’t know what prompted it exactly, but I tweeted out that one of the things I appreciated about my husband was that he respected me; he didn’t just love me. That tweet blew up. So then I tweeted out something else about the book Love & Respect, and it blew up, too. I thought maybe I should take a more careful look at the book (I had it on a shelf), so I pulled it down. And when I read the sex chapter I was appalled.
I wrote a huge post on it, and that blew up, and people asked me to write more about the underlying premise. So that’s what I did this week, though I wasn’t planning on it. You can see the posts here (the last post was from a while ago, but it drives home the same point):
I’ve been overwhelmed with the response, and I’ll be publishing a post of your comments tomorrow, because I think they need to be archived all in one place.
But in the meantime, can I suggest something? Next time people talk about the book, speak up. One thing that’s amazed me this week is how little pushback I’ve received. People seem to instinctively get that there’s something off about this book. And yet churches keep recommending it. When we speak up, it won’t be hard for the tipping point to be reached.
And check out our in-depth critique of the way Eggerichs’ teachings can gaslight abuse victims.
Millennial Marriage: Okay, I’ll Admit it. I Like Marie Kondo
A lot of Christians are criticizing “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” on Netflix. Rebecca and I love it. I love folding my clothes. I love finding things that spark joy.
No, I don’t greet my house, thank my clothes, or try to awaken the energy in my books. You can ignore that stuff. But we really enjoyed some of the show’s episodes, especially 1, 3 & 4 (and if you can get through 4 without bawling like a baby, you’re a bigger person than me).
The book is better, though. Really teaches you how to find peace with the things God has blessed you with. And I’ve written before about 8 things I learned using the Konmarie method to declutter.
Reader Question: What do I do if my husband checks out other women?
I get tons of reader questions about this scenario, and I really need to write about it again. I haven’t done that in a while, but here are some other posts that might help.
Also, I strongly recommend getting Covenant Eyes for your computers, tablets, phones, devices, etc. Let’s not make it easy for porn to be accessed. And when you click on the link, you’ll get 30 days free using the coupon code TLHV!
Comment: Does Divorce Hurt Kids Or Not?
I like to comment every podcast about some interaction I’ve had on social media, on the blog, wherever. And this week I got into a discussion about divorce. Someone tweeted that divorce hurts kids; someone else tweeted that staying in an abusive marriage hurts kids.
The thing is–they’re both right. Often we’ll say something, but then you have to issue the caveat–except if you’re in a bad marriage.
The problem is that we’re often aiming for the wrong thing. When we aim to preserve the marriage, we often give advice that would be the wrong thing to do in toxic marriages. The way out is to do what I’ve been talking about all week–point to Jesus instead.
Here are two posts I referenced in the podcast:
Other Posts in our Love and Respect Series:
- THE MUST READ: An Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect and Emerson Eggerichs
- A Review of Love and Respect: How the Book Gets Sex Horribly Wrong
- Love and Respect: Why Unconditional Respect Can’t Work
- The Ultimate Flaw in the Book Love and Respect: Jesus Isn’t at the Center
- Dissecting a Sermon Series where Emerson Eggerichs Gaslights Abuse Victims
- Is It Okay if Christian Marriage Books are Just a Little Bit Harmful?
- PODCAST: Why Unconditional Respect Isn't a Thing (and how the verse the book is based on, and the survey data the book is based on, don't hold water).
- PODCAST: An Example from Eggerichs' blog of Eggerichs Gaslighting Women (we work through line by line)
- PODCAST: Dissecting Eggerichs' Love & Respect Sermons at Houston's First Baptist Church, with His Dismissal of Abuse
- PODCAST: Our Love & Respect Wrap Up
- I’m Passing the Torch on Love & Respect. 10 Ways You Can Pick it Up
Plus our Resource Pages:
That’s it for this week! I hope you take time to listen to the podcast, because I got WORKED UP. And kinda passionate.
Thanks for subscribing!
Tomorrow I hope will be the conclusion of the Love & Respect series, where I’m going to share so many of the stories that I’ve been sent this week.
Like this post?
Since posting these reviews of Love and Respect, many people have asked me how they can share their concerns with their churches and community.
We created a report of the hundreds of comments we received (including good and bad reviews) which is available to download together with a sample letter to send to churches.
You can download both and send them to whoever you think needs to read them here: