Today the first episode of the To Love, Honor and Vacuum podcast launches!

Listen in here:

Each week on the podcast I plan to have about 4 sections:

  • A main segment where I elaborate on the month’s theme and say things I don’t have room to say in my Wednesday posts!
  • A millennial marriage segment which will usually feature my daughter Rebecca and me, but may sometimes feature Rebecca and her husband Connor, or Joanna who also works for me. We have such awesome discussions on FaceTime everyday I’d love to make them more widely available! And we’ll be commenting on some article in the news or something timely.
  • A reader question–I get so many of these, and I’ll try to answer a new one each podcast!
  • Something awesome from some commenters that happened that week.

I know that not all of you like to listen to podcasts, and some of you like to read more. So I’m going to link to some of the resources that I talk about on the podcast, and try to do a bit of a summary!

Main Segment: Are we asking the wrong questions about new year’s?

We tend to ask ourselves, “what do I want for 2019?” But what if that’s the wrong starting point?

What if the question really should be, “What does God have for me in 2019?”

You see, I think we’ve gotten things mixed up lately, and we believe that life should be relatively easy. We’ve forgotten that some things are worth working for, and that life was not supposed to just be about leisure.

This month on Wednesdays we’re talking about how our habits may be holding us back, whether it’s health or video games or attitudes or anything like that. But I wrote an article a few years ago that talks about this change in belief:

Have We Forgotten How to Be a Mommy

And the books I referred to in the podcast that I just LOVE for kids (they’re some of the best readalouds once kids hit 5 or 6) are the Beverly Cleary Ramona books.

Sheila Recommends Module - Our First To Love, Honor and Vacuum Podcast!
Ramona - Our First To Love, Honor and Vacuum Podcast!

The Ramona Books
by Beverly Cleary

Millennial Marriage: Can We Talk about the Mommy Wine Culture?

Here’s the article we were discussing:

How Mommy Wine Culture Normalized Alcoholism in North America

If we think that we can’t cope with normal “mommy” life without drinking, maybe we need to ask why is that life so difficult in the first place? Deal with the underlying causes! Here are some posts that may help:

Reader Question: My Husband Only Gets Aroused by Manual Manipulation of His Genitals

So here’s the scenario: she likes sex, and he has a fairly low libido. And he can only get an erection if she actually directly uses her hand on him. He doesn’t get aroused any other way. She’s asking if this is normal. And she’s quite sure that he doesn’t use porn.

I’d say it’s worth looking at these possible issues:

  1. Medical Issues (which could include low testosterone as well as depression, or other things)
  2. Psychological Issues (issues with intimacy; if he has trouble getting vulnerable with you in general or if he’s rather aloof, I’d look at whether he’s got wounds from his past that haven’t been dealt with)
  3. History of Masturbation (even if he’s not masturbating now). IF he trained his body to only be aroused by touch, then he may need that direct stimulation.

I’d say #1 is most likely, especially low testosterone, and it’s a pretty easy fix if he sees his doctor. The key to all of it is good communication. If you can talk about it openly and say, “God made this to be amazing, so let’s not miss out!”, you’ll get much further.

Comment from a Guy Whose Wife Never Wants Sex

Finally, I shared a comment that a man left on this blog about a wife who is never interested in sex. Seriously, this is so damaging to a marriage! Women, if this is you–don’t stand for it. Deal with marriage problems if they are keeping you from making love. But if it’s simply low libido, don’t miss out on a huge part of your marriage like this! Please.

More posts to help:

So there you go! Everything that we covered in the podcast. I hope you have a chance to listen. I’m planning on doing one every week, and they should be available at whatever player you use for podcasts–Google Play, iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher. Right now we’ve submitted them to all of those places, and they should be live (I’m writing this post ahead of time, but I’m hoping they’re live there!). If not, you should be able to subscribe next week, when the next one publishes.

Thanks again! And tell me if there’s a feature you’d like to see.

SheilaSidebarAboutMe - Our First To Love, Honor and Vacuum Podcast! Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 27 years and happily married for 22! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 8 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.
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