When my girls turned 13, that meant they got a clothing allowance!
Why? Because I believe strongly that one of the most important lessons we can give kids is how to handle money and budget accordingly. When kids are given money that they are responsible to make last, then they are more likely to look for deals. They become savvy consumers. And they learn the hard way what happens when you buy something that’s too expensive.
My Ask Sheila video last week featured my daughters and I answering a reader question from a mom who was concerned that her preteen wanted to wear clothes in the Victoria Secret PINK line. We debated the PINK issue for a while, but then I pointed something else out: If you want to avoid fights over brand names, one of the best ways is to give your kids access to the money and make all the choices their own. When my kids had a clothing allowance, they became super thrifty shoppers and began to love second hand stores.
The girls hamming it up at the gift shop in the Grand Canyon when they were 15 and 13.
So let’s break down the steps to creating a clothing allowance for your teens!
1. Choose What Clothes MUST Be in Your Teen’s Wardrobe
Before you can figure out how much money they’ll need, you have to figure out what clothes they’ll need. Giving them a blanket amount of money and figuring “this should do the trick” isn’t wise. First, kids will tend to need more clothing in the years that they’re growing than in the years that they’re not; but second, you don’t want to give them money if they honestly don’t need anything. So rather than just say, “we can spend $300 a year on clothes for you”, sit down and decide what they actually will need.
To do that, you have to first decide the basics. How many pairs of pants does your child actually need (not how many NEW ones, just how many pants, in general, do they need)? How many T-shirts? How many dresses, underwear, bras, swimsuits, etc.?
2. Go Shopping in Your Teen’s Closet
Now that you know how many of these things they will need, check what they already have! Go through their closets and drawers and count how many of each item of clothing they already have.
3. Purge Anything that Won’t Work Anymore
Do they have t-shirts with holes in them? T-shirts that are too small? After all, chances are you’re starting a clothing allowance right as your child is going through puberty, so they’ve likely outgrown some of the things they used to love. Boys shoot up so fast they sometimes need several pairs of pants over the course of just one year. And for girls, tops can get tight awfully quickly, and children aren’t always as quick to see this (they also may not want to admit it to themselves, especially girls with growing busts).
As you’re purging, your child may point out a perfectly functional t-shirt that they just don’t like anymore. They don’t NEED a new t-shirt to replace that one; they WANT a new T-shirt to replace that one. Your son may want multiple different running shoes–but he doesn’t actually NEED more than two. Base your clothing allowance on what a child needs, not what a child wants. You can always bless them at birthdays and Christmases with things they want, but a clothing allowance based on need will turn them into savvy shoppers so that their money will go further, and it will encourage them to earn money in other ways so that they can get their wants met.
4. Prepare Your Clothing Spreadsheet
Now that you know what your child’s basic wardrobe should contain, and what pieces they already have, you can fill in how many of each item they need! I’ve prepared a printable for you to download that you can fill out to help you. Check it out here!
5. Estimate How Much Each Item Will Cost
Time to do your research! Check out some basic online sites where you normally would shop, and see how much the average item costs. Enter this on your spreadsheet, and then multiply the number they need by the cost. So if your daughter needs five T-shirts, but she only has 2 that fit, and it’s reasonable to spend $10 on each one, she needs $30 for T-shirts. Repeat that for each item of clothing. Once you’ve done that, total everything up.
6. Decide How Much Their Clothing Allowance Will Be
Take a deep breath; your total may scare you. Our first year of a clothing allowance with Rebecca was super expensive. She needed new EVERYTHING since she was growing. Even underwear. And socks. Probably the most expensive year she ever had. She needed more money that year than I would spend on myself in four years!
Once you have that number, you have a few options. You can:
- Give your child the whole amount
- Give your child a portion of the whole amount, because you want them to work to earn some money, or because your family’s budget won’t allow for the full amount. They can still get the clothing they need by shopping on sales, shopping at second hand stores, or earning some extra money.
For our first year, I calculated what they would need, and then I gave them 75% of it, because I wanted to encourage thriftiness. They ended up buying very high quality clothes in second hand stores, and always looked great. And then they still treated themselves to a few brand names throughout the year.
7. Help Them Get a Debit Card or a Way to Access their Clothing Allowance
Now you want them to go out and shop! A clothing allowance only works if they see it as “their” money. If you say to them, “I’ll give you $400 this year for clothes”, but then you go shopping with them and you hand the clerk your credit card, and in some notebook at home you keep track how much you’ve spent, it won’t have the same effect. If you deposit a big sum for their clothing allowance into a bank account, though, and then they see their balance going lower as they buy things, then your teens will learn how to handle money much more effectively!
They need to have the money, and they need to spend the money.
You can either give one lump sum payment (I suggest using their birthday as an annual reminder), or give it every 4 or 6 months if your budget won’t allow for a lump sum.
Now they’ll need a debit card to shop. An awesome resource for this is FamZoo, which allows you to get debit cards that you can link with your own bank account. You can then transfer money to them for regular allowances, extra jobs, their clothing allowance, and more. Check it out here!
8. Once You’ve Given Them Their Clothing Allowance, Keep Your Wallet Closed
For a clothing allowance to do its job, you must now keep your wallet closed. If they spend all their allowance on an expensive pair of sneakers, and they have nothing left for underwear, don’t bail them out. Have them work for more money. Show them how to make their money last–and what happens when it doesn’t.
9. Require Them to Actually Shop
One of the potential pitfalls is that yo may have a teen who couldn’t care less what clothes they wear–but who really likes money. For boys, especially, you may find that they’re perfectly content with just one pair of jeans and 3 t-shirts if it means they keep more money in the bank to spend on other things. If you find your teen isn’t spending the money, you can require them to buy the things on your checklist, and even take them to the mall one Saturday until it gets done!
(However, if they would honestly choose to forgo some clothes, and they still have enough to look presentable and not stink, then that is their choice. Some give and take may have to happen here.)
10. Work Them Towards Independence By Changing their Clothing Allowance as They Mature
Don’t just give them the same amount of money every year, because their needs may change (and some years they may need very little!). You don’t want them spending money for the sake of spending money; you want them to buy things because they need them.
As they grew, too, I decided that I would spend less on their clothes. I decreased the amount we gave out every year by about 10%. If the figure next year, for instance, was $450, I’d give them $405. And the next year I’d take a little bit more off, so that by the time my girls were 18 they would be used to earning the money for their own clothes. I also encouraged them to work in some sort of part-time job. When Rebecca was 15, for instance, she had eight piano students, and both my girls taught swimming at the Y.
Now, we did give quite a generous allowance for doing chores around the house, so I wasn’t being mean. I do believe that parents should pay for necessities for kids. But I also believe that we need to teach kids to budget, and this is the way that we chose to do it.
We also added things to their allowance as they grew. When they were 15, we started giving them money for toiletries as well. By the time they left home, they were used to shopping for everything, and knew how to get good deals.
But did it work? Here’s Rebecca:
In one word: YES! I remember how excited I was when I first got a little debit card for my clothing allowance money. I felt I had more freedom in choosing what I wore, I learned to bargain shop, and I even got creative with the budget. I had a small jewelry-making business in high school, and one year I decided to use the clothing allowance funds to invest in all the supplies we would need for that year’s round of craft fairs. I put in $300 and came out with $3,500 of profits. So it’s not just about clothing, either–it’s about letting your kids experience what it is like to make financial decisions when it’s your own money that’s on the line. That’s a huge lesson I had to learn–and one that I remember wishing more of my friends in high school had learned, too (it seriously bothered me to hear them complaining how their parents wouldn’t buy them this or that!).
There are obviously tons of ways to teach your kids financial responsibility. But this really helped me. And it’s such a simple, foolproof tool that can really help your kids, as well.
If you want to check out my free printable to help you get your teen’s allowance started, click here!
Have you ever used a clothing allowance with your teens? Or did you have one growing up? Share with me in the comments, and let’s talk!
Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 27 years and happily married for 22! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 8 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.
My parents never handed over a clothing allowance, but they still made sure that our back-to-school shopping was a lesson on budgeting and spending wisely. We quickly learned to love second-hand stores like Plato’s Closet and to only splurge on one or two new major brand items.
My favorite, however, was that mom always made it a one-on-one shopping trip for each of us. It was a special alone time with each kid, usually involving an “extra” like ice cream or coffee and lots of discussion on hopes, expectations, and advice for the upcoming school year.
Oh, I love that ‘date with mom’ idea! That’s great. And while our girls certainly had their own money, I always went shopping with them, too.
I love this idea! What age would you recommend starting this with your kids?
Our first is currently 13 months old, hopefully more to come soon ( 😉 ) but I think this would be a great idea for myself when it comes to shopping for her. I don’t buy much for myself but it’s so hard not to buy EVERYTHING for my beautiful little girl… she LOVES clothes, and clothes shopping and trying on clothes, it’s so cute and she could seriously be a little baby model… gorgeous eyes and lashes, thick curly hair… Okay maybe I’m a little biased too 😉 . She just got lots from her generous family for her birthday and we probably won’t need much/anything until spring except a winter hat.
I have a question though, how do hand-me-downs fit into the equation? Especially say if you have three of the same gender close together. It may feel like the oldest one ends up “choosing” for all three. If the younger ones don’t like the style of the older one but you are a stickler about the want/need dichotomy (style vs worn out) then the younger may not “need” almost anything and feel left out. Thoughts?
We started when they were 13.
As for hand me downs, it’s not as much an issue when they’re teens because a 13-year-old doesn’t grow much. So when Rebecca hit 13, Katie never, ever got anymore hand-me-downs, because Rebecca kept them all. So Katie needed all of her own clothes anyway! (they still swapped a ton, but it wasn’t like she was “getting” Rebecca’s clothes). It may be a bit more of an issue for boys who often don’t stop growing until much later (and who can go through 4 sizes of pants in one year), but for girls it wasn’t much of an issue.
Your daughter sounds adorable!
Aha, that makes sense! at 13 months We’ve gone through 6 or 7 sizes, I forget that the growth slows down eventually 😉
I also think that with kids who are growing fast you could do a “check in” where they could make a case for why they need more money, too. 🙂 (I’m just picturing my husband who made a powerpoint presentation for his parents convincing them he needed a laptop and thinking what he would have done at 14…)
I’m in the UK, and most kids of 13 here are at schools which require a uniform. Would you recommend that a clothing allowance should also cover school uniform, or not? (It is often possible to buy uniform items secondhand, but not always.) What about uniforms for other organisations, e.g. Scouts?
I know that when I got a job as a lifeguard, my work attire was covered by my clothing allowance. I needed certain shorts/shirts with the pool’s logo on them and I paid for them out of pocket. The bathing suits we needed to buy were also around $100 and I paid for those, too.
However, I think that’s up to you. 🙂 I think it’s good for kids to learn how much things cost, so I would personally slot those into the clothing allowance. But the message would likely stick either way!
When it comes to uniforms, too, often if the kid spends her/his own money on it they take better care of it. No one wants to spend their money on clothes they have to wear–they want to spend it on fun things! So they’re more likely to make sure not to tear/stain/mistreat the “mandatory” clothes if it comes out of their “fun” budget to replace, if that makes sense. 🙂
Good thinking – thank you! My daughter’s a bit young for this as yet, but I’ll keep it in mind.
I love the idea of a clothing allowance.
We started to give our kids an allowance (the oldest is now 8) because they kept begging in every store for either junk or sweets. It became such a battle because sometimes I did‘t mind buying them a treat, but other times I didn‘t want to. Also it meant all 4 would want something so it‘s „fair“. Now they have a small allowance and they have to use that for chewing gum and stickers or even the junk toys (cringe)… except for the 2 year old who has no concept of money…
This solved the battles and often now they don‘t want to buy those things. It‘s a different thing to spend your own money on junk instead of spending mom‘s money.
Exactly! That’s why we gave our kids an allowance, too. And then they quickly learned that they’d rather keep the money for something big.
Even my 6-year-old has got the hang of it – “if I have to buy it with my own money, I don’t really need it!”
🙂
My parents did a clothing budget with us as teens, and it worked great! I may have cheated a little because I could usually get a little extra money for fabric, since my mom was also teaching me to sew my own clothes. But I did learn really quickly that thrift shopping could get me much more unique and less expensive things that still fit my school’s dress code. I’m already considering doing this with my boys when they’re older, though if they take after their father, I’ll much more likely have the struggle of convincing them to buy anything that needs replacing! (And I’m going to make sure they know how to sew their own buttons back on and do other basic repairs, too.)
I’m also impressed that Rebecca did so well at the craft fairs! I tried selling jewelry at one once, and sold exactly one item.
I did craft fairs too and never did well at them! They made awesome jewelry, though, and Rebecca’s partner jewelry maker had a mom who was an interior designer, and their table always looked amazing. 🙂
I love this idea.
My Mum isn’t “into” clothes or anything – she dresses very basic, wears the same jewellery, no makeup, etc (and when I was 13 I just saw it all as her having no fashion sense, haha!). Plus, my parents have always been very frugal and just focus on necessities. So when I was a pre-teen/early teen, I hated it because I felt like anytime I wanted anything it was a huge deal of “how much is it/do you really need it/let me check if it fits you well” etc (20 questions!).
Once I started working at 14-15yo I mostly bought my own stuff, from memory.
But I like this idea to do with my own children, I think!
Oh, yes, that is really hard when your mom doesn’t keep herself up, and you want to. Definitely hard! (Side note: Moms, remember to fight the frump! Think of the example/culture you’re setting for your kids if you don’t!)
My son is getting to this age where he will need to make his own clothing decisions!! I’ve thought lots about this topic! I really love your suggestion to make a list of what they NEED, compare it with what they HAVE and then give them an allowance based on that. Because you’re right a flat amount may change over time depending on their needs and how fast they grow through clothes. Thanks for the get idea!
I’m glad you found it helpful, Kristi!
Number 8 sounds quite impossible….:)
Haha! Yeah I get that. 🙂 But my parents honestly did say, “We already gave you the money. If you ran out, you need to babysit so you can earn some more.” And then I was screwed if I overspent. It really taught me how to budget–and that skill has been amazing throughout my early adulthood. It’s worth it!! 🙂
I like the idea of “shopping in your teens closet”. Often they buy clothes they never get to wear for years or styles that are inappropriate for a descent person. I use that as a teaching opportunity to get into conversation with them about what they have to bear in mind when shopping for clothing.
Sheila, the printable that’s linked in this article isn’t working for me. Clicking the ‘here’ links just redirects to the top of this post. Do you have another link that works?
You can get the printable through the optin that it keeps redirecting you to. 🙂 you put your email address in and sign up, then we’ll send it to you!
cannot use link for shopping list., can you please send it to me, thanks
Hi there, you can get the list by signing up using the optin in the post! By signing up you give us your email address so we can actually send you the list. I hope this helps 🙂