What do you do when your daughter wants to wear a brand name of clothes that you’re uncomfortable with?
Today for our Ask Sheila video we’re featuring a mom who has issues with her 12-year-old who wants to wear Victoria Secret PINK clothing. She asks:
I have a 12 year old stepdaughter who is begging to wear clothing as well as undergarments from Victoria Secret PINK. Currently, our stance is she is not allowed to wear their clothing, nor is she allowed to even shop in the store. My husband actually did initially allow her to wear panties from this store and actually took her and purchased some for her 12th birthday. After further discussion, we decided this was not a great decision and have not allowed additional purchases from VS PINK or allowed her to shop there. I struggle with allowing a 12 year old to patron a store that sells sex. However she doesn’t understand this mentality claiming all of her friends shop there and wear their stuff. While I agree that much of their stuff is appropriate, I struggle with the image it creates. Please help! Are we being overly protective? Should we ease up on the rule of allowing her to shop at this store or wear this brand’s age appropriate products? I am mentally exhausted from the drama this is creating in our home.
Great question! My own daughters were both home last week since we were heading to Burlington to film some videos for The Whole Story, our puberty course that moms can share with their daughters, and–COMING SOON–that dads (or single moms) can share with their sons. We got TV personality Sheldon Neil to film the boys’ version for us, and we were filming some videos altogether. That will be launching October 16 (so excited!), but in the meantime, the girls have been home more than usual.
So I asked them to help me answer this question!
Honestly, I do think that a clothing allowance is the answer to a lot of this, and I’ll be reposting my blog post on how to do a clothing allowance well for your kids later this week.
In the meantime, here’s another post on clothing choices (with a handy checklist at the bottom) that you can use when talking to your girls about this sort of thing:
- Why Don’t Be a Stumbling Block is a Really Bad Modesty Message–and what we should be concerned with instead
But now, let me know: what do you think of Victoria Secret PINK? How do you make these decisions with your kids? Let’s talk in the comments!
- Retraining Your Brain to Fantasize about HIM--And No One Else!
- Should it be a Struggle to Not Have Sex Before You’re Married?
- 10 of the Best Decisions You Can Make in Your First Year of Marriage
- How To Not Be a Legalistic Parent
- Why I Didn't Rebel (my most viral post ever)
- Why I Didn't Rebel. Ever wondered why some kids rebel and some don't? Or do you believe rebellion is inevitable? Rebecca interviewed 25 young adults and dove into psychology research to find out: what makes some kids rebel, and some stay on the straight-and-narrow?
- The Whole Story: Not-So-Scary Talks about Sex, Puberty, and Growing Up. Scared to talk to your daughter about puberty? Rebecca and her sister Katie want to do the hard part for you. This course is designed to start conversations to bring you closer together and strengthen your mother-daughter bond while giving your daughter all the information she needs as she becomes a woman.