People believe some really wacky things about sex!
Let’s talk about misperceptions people have about sex, and then next week–for Valentine’s Day–we’ll spend a whole week talking about how to make sex awesome! So last week, on Facebook and Twitter, I asked about misperceptions about sex, and I got some great responses. (Seriously, if you’re not following me on Facebook, come on over! There’s always lots of great stuff there!) Of course, there’s the pretty basic misunderstandings about sex: 
Yep! It’s pretty sad when people are having sex and they don’t even know how their bodies work! But let’s look at some others that young adults may have, especially within the church.
1. Sex is all about “the deed”
Sex is when his penis goes into her. That’s sex. That’s it. Well, not exactly. Yes, for the most part that is what people mean when they say the word sex, but it also encompasses a lot more. I’ve known people who have done EVERYTHING but fully penetrative vaginal sex, and they’re so proud that they made it to the wedding as virgins! People are missing the point. Sex was created to connect us spiritually, physically, and emotionally, and any sexual contact will start to do that.
- Why God Wants us to Wait for Marriage for Sex
- The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex (all about what sex was created for!)
Also, believing that sex is just that one deed can do some serious harm to you. As one woman said on Twitter:
An exclusive understanding of sex as penis-to-vagina intercourse…exposes folks to STIs
2. You really shouldn’t talk about sex
There is often a really strong belief among youth groups that sex is only something you talk about at purity conferences or when you’re getting the “don’t have sex” talk at youth group. As a result, all young people hear about sex is, “don’t have it, and try your best not to want it, either.” But what does that actually accomplish when it comes to teaching about healthy sexuality? Sex isn’t something that needs to be hushed up. There is nothing inherently wrong with sex, and teens should be able to talk about sex in a healthy way. Also, there’s another problem with not being able to talk about sex. As R.L. Stollar said to me on Twitter:
That it is something shameful or dirty that we shouldn’t talk about. This made it much more difficult for me to process my childhood abuse.
Yes, if you can’t talk about sex, then you make healing from sexual trauma much worse–and make the shame stick much more, too. And you add shame once people are married as well! 
3. Everything will be like it is in the movies
When you’re married and you have sex with your spouse, everything will be like in the movies. You fall into each others’ arms, and it’s easy–everything flows. You never have to talk about sex because it will be perfect. If you have to talk about it, you ruin the movie-moment magic. Well, sorry kid. That’s not the case. Although there are definitely movie-magic moments, sex in marriage often requires a lot of conversation. Along with that, somehow movies and TV shows never seem to show the reality of what happens AFTER sex. One woman tweeted to me:
Every time I watch a tv scene where they have quick sex with NO cleanup I’m like “LIARS” haha…can be surprising if you haven’t thought it through and media is your only picture of how things happen.
You’re telling me WHAT goes WHERE?!
Talking about sex with your kids doesn’t always go smoothly.
That’s why we created The Whole Story, our online course that walks parents through the tough conversations and does the hard parts for you!
Yep!
- 10 Ways Hollywood Warps Our Expectations about Sex
- What Does It Really Mean to be Attracted to Your Husband?
4. That the core of sexual ethics is waiting until you’re married.
We don’t talk enough about what God designed sex for–or why God made us the way He did. As Rachel Darnall said to me on Twitter:
That the core of sexual ethics is “just get married first.” No discussion of what sex is for, how to respect and care for your spouse in your sex life. As long as you’re married, any selfishness or even cruelty is permitted, because you’ve “kept the marriage bed pure.”
Yes! Sex is supposed to be about spiritual intimacy, too, and about giving to one another, rather than just getting one’s sexual needs met.
- Can We Talk About Men’s and Women’s Sexual Needs in a Healthy Way?
- 31 Days to Great Sex (A Challenge to discover truly intimate sex together)
5. What feels good to me will feel good to my spouse
Sometimes it will, sometimes it won’t. Sometimes it does one day, and then it definitely doesn’t the next. But the idea that everything in sex needs to be mind-blowing to both people at the same time or else it’s not “good sex” is simply ridiculous. Women and men are made differently, which means different things will feel good to the man than feels good to the woman.
On top of that, each individual will have different preferences, since our bodies are not only different from people of the opposite sex, we’re also not the same as people of our own sex! You need to talk and take time to explore to figure out what feels good for each of you. And taking turns is not a bad thing! This has to be one of the best (and funniest) videos explaining just what the difference is between men and women when it comes to sex:
- My Husband Doesn’t Understand How Important Foreplay Is
- 9 Tips for Great Sex for Her
- 10 Ways to Make Sex Feel Amazing for Your Husband
6. All guys struggle with porn and masturbation, but it’s not normal for girls to want sex
Often the way that churches and youth groups talk about sexual temptation makes it sound like all men lust, or all men will have a lifelong struggle with pornography. But that’s simply not the case. Yes, many men will struggle with pornography. But so will many women. And many men will struggle with greed, selfishness, and a whole host of things–but the purity message of “all men lust, so girls let’s not tempt them” is stated so many times that I’ve actually known guys who didn’t struggle with porn start watching porn because they felt there was something wrong with them since they weren’t currently struggling!
Yes, we need to talk about porn and lust. But it isn’t the only sin out there, it isn’t a universal sin, and it isn’t a sin that can’t be overcome. On the flip side, girls are not told anything about sexual temptation, even though it isn’t always men who have the higher sex drive in marriages. In around 25-30% of marriages, it’s the woman. And teenage girls and young women can be turned on by a guy with a six pack!
Not acknowledging that girls have sex drives, too, can make young women feel dirty or ashamed of their sexuality. But God created them to be sexual beings, too–and that’s OK. Sexuality is not a bad thing, God created it. But when we don’t talk about girls having a sex drive, we can take something God created for good and make girls feel ashamed and dirty because of it.
7. Quitting porn will be easy when you are married
This idea stems from a misunderstanding of what sex is–porn is not sex. Porn is warped sex. Married sex won’t take away the porn habit or addiction you have–it needs to be dealt with on its own. No one would say “I’ll get over my gambling addiction when I make more money,” because the issue isn’t the amount of money–it’s the mindset around money and the way the money is being misused. It’s the same for porn. You CAN get over porn, but marriage isn’t a fix-all for porn addiction. Instead, take real steps towards freedom now so that you don’t bring porn addiction into your marriage.
- 4 Things You Must Do if Your Husband Watches Porn
- Does Your Spouse Have a Porn Addiction or Just a Bad Habit? The Difference Matters!
- 5 Steps To Actually Stop Watching Porn
8. “Making love all night” is normal.
You hear it all the times in songs and movies–they made love all night. It’s romantic, they couldn’t get enough of each other. In reality? The deed really does not take that long. Even if he can last a very long time, no one really ever wants to have sex all night. Think about that–that’s 9 hours. Yikes.
Although women can have consecutive orgasms, men really can’t. And they have what’s called a refractory period, which means that time needs to pass before they can get rarin’ to go again. And they can only do that so many times until their body just says “no more.” So making love all night? Not realistic.
9. If you do have sex with someone, it means they really love you and you’ll cement the relationship.
And, as the same commenter said on Facebook, too many guys believe that having sex makes you a man! I know many teens who were committed to saving sex for marriage in theory, but then they get with a guy and they think, “ah, but this is true love. No one else has ever experienced what we are experiencing. And so it’s only natural that we should now have sex.” It’s like they let feelings take over, because they think that if they have sex, it’s more likely that the relationship will last. Unfortunately, the opposite is likely true.
10. If you’ve had sex, your purity is gone. So there’s no point holding back anymore.
This is the problem with the way we talk about sex–we don’t talk about gossiping purity, or lying purity, or cheating purity. But when it comes to sex, if you’ve done it, you have a different label. You’re no longer a virgin. You lose part of the identity that is given to you. It’s the only sin that we have labels to separate people who have done it from those who haven’t.
The Bible is clear that having sex outside of marriage affects you on a deeper level than many other sins, but that doesn’t mean that it’s an all-or-nothing kind of thing. You can have sex and repent and be washed clean of your sin, just like any other sin. But often fear tactics are used when talking about sex to the point that when someone makes a mistake, they feel their Christian life is over. Maybe this is a better way to talk to young people who have had sex and regret it. Because Jesus’ blood really does cover all–and you are not impure.
And one bonus point:
Sex is always terrible before you’re married; and always great once you are married.
If you’re a virgin when you marry, sex will be wonderful!
Not always. But just because sex isn’t perfect on your wedding night doesn’t mean that it won’t get better. Likewise, sex before marriage doesn’t always feel bad–in fact, many young adults start having sex and then keep having sex because, “Something that feels this good can’t be wrong!” We’re trying so hard to keep people from having sex before marriage that we’re not giving them a complete picture.
We need to talk about sex realistically. Sex feels good–there’s a reason people want to do it and why it’s difficult to stop. But sex isn’t only about how it feels; there’s a lot more to sex. And God wants us to wait for sex, that is the truth. But we need to stop trying to cram sex into a simple formula, because it’s not simple. Remember–if you want a better perspective on what sex is, and you want to start marriage well, pick up The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex!
God made sex to be AWESOME!
It’s supposed to be great physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Feel like something’s missing?
Like this post so far? You should also check out:
Did you believe any of these lies about sex? What would you add to this list? Let talk about it in the comments below!
Does Your Sex Life Need a Pick-Me-Up?
Maybe it's gotten stale. Maybe it's never felt that great. Or maybe you just feel like you're missing something!
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Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 25 years and happily married for 20! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 8 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.
“All guys struggle with porn and masturbation”
I used to believe that that was the case, but it really isn’t. Many of the men I know don’t have that issue. I think that generally speaking men who had less anxiety during their childhood are less prone to that problem.
When I started watching porn, there was very little information available on how harmful it is. Now there is a lot of information, and still, when you google quitting porn, regardless if you go for Christian or other sites, the prevalent message seems to be: yes, it is hard to quit, everybody struggles with it, take it easy. I find that that is not very helpful, and surely must feel disheartening to the concerned wives too.
And then you go on nofap, or here on this blog, and you read so many testimonials of men and women so much in pain… But it is strange that that fails to shape the predominating attitude.
Dean, I would agree with you. Porn is highly related to stress-relief and anxiety relief, and people who are more stable emotionally have a harder time being drawn in (that being said, it’s not like it can’t happen).
And I totally agree that we need to change the conversation! Sure, it’s hard to quit, but it’s not impossible. And it’s worth the effort.
Hey Sheila – so last night I was working with 7-8 year old boys in a group setting on a project. One of the men there just recieved a new baby into their family. Baby #3. We were joking around about how his sleep was going and all that fun stuff and we were talking about how amazing it is that the man can sleep right through the cries. He went on to say how he was “picking/joking” on his wife about how she could be so tired…he slept! It was a joke he made with his wife and we were all laughing. I said in front of all the boys as we built our project Hey you better be careful. You had fun making that baby. Another man essentially scoled me for that comment because I should be aware of my audience. This man is my freind. Our family is freinds with theirs and we are basically living parallel lives. I am aware though. These parents are uptight about sex. They are on thier second marriage and have 2 teenagers as well. One if their many rules they hold is the teens boyfreinds/girlfreinds are not allowed in the house alone etc etc with the rules. Obviously they are trying to control if their teens will have sex or not. 1st. Let me tell you that if a teenager wants to have sex they will. I am that example. And they will do it where ever they can even if that means breaking the rules. Trust me. You cant control it, it is their choice. As you have indicated in the past. It starts early by giving the correct message. So 2nd. If You cant tell your kids that babies come from a Mom and Dad well then to me that is just sad. What are you going to tell them? A stork dropped you off? Sure you can tell them God created them. My kids all knew at an early year that babies come from a Mommy and. Daddy because they love other. The message builds from there. I am grateful that today I have a chance to deliver the right message to my kids. They dont have to fo through the garbage I did if they dont want to. What a blessing. Have a good all.
Phil, I for one wouldn’t find it amusing to hear a group of men laughing and joking about their wives being sleep deprived while they get plenty of rest and “sleep through the cries”. The physical exhaustion I felt the week of having my kids and bringing them home was no laughing matter. I’d accidentally fall asleep sitting up and nursing which can be dangerous. And that was WITH my husband’s help. Those first few nights after bringing them home we had to sleep in shifts until sleep patterns were regulated. I was actually the one sleeping through the cries because I was so exhausted. And that lasted for a few weeks. My husband helped to wake me up to nurse and would help me stay awake while nursing. I repeat. I SLEPT THROUGH THE CRIES.
Quite frankly I think making jokes about men not helping their exhausted wives out after having a baby will do more damage to those young boys than your joke about making babies being fun. It takes a man and a wife to make that baby, both parents should be actively involved in caring for that child. Setting up another generation of young men to think that taking care of the baby is the woman’s work while making the baby is just plain fun for the man is no laughing matter. It is that attitude that leads to young men thinking that there aren’t any real consequences to having sex and getting a girl pregnant because the girl will be the one who has to take care of the baby. The fact that a man could find it funny that he is well rested while his wife is physically exhausted is sad. To sit around and joke about her exhaustion with other men after all she went through to bring THEIR child into the world is disgusting.
And for the record, I don’t think it is appropriate to make any jokes about sex around other people’s children. Especially if they are young children. Maybe those parents haven’t talked with their children about it yet but are planning on it. It doesn’t automatically mean those parents are ashamed of sex. It just means they don’t appreciate jokes being made around their children about something that they haven’t fully discussed with them. You don’t get to decide what is appropriate for another family.
Well. I see your side but I would say you need to lighten your heart. Laughter is wonderful. You shoukd try it. Just because you can laugh at something doesnt mean that is how you act. My wife and Ican laugh about or past and out situations. It nakes for a fun marriage.
I don’t have any issues in the sense of humor department. And I laugh plenty throughout my days. No, my problem with your comment wasn’t that I lack a sense of humor or the lightness of my heart. My issue was the fact that grown men can sit around and make jokes about their wives being totally exhausted while they get plenty of rest. All within earshot of young boys who are impressionable and take in a lot more than grown-ups realize. And what I can imagine they took away from your entire conversation was that making babies is fun and it is the woman’s job to take care of the baby while the man gets to sleep.
As I said before, I have a great sense of humor, but I don’t really see the humor in the whole men sitting around and making wife jokes or women making husband jokes. I love my husband. And if he was feeling exhausted and stressed from having to work long hours to support our family, the last thing I would do was make jokes about it with a group of women. That kind of humor just isn’t funny to me. And what I don’t understand is making jokes about doing something that you don’t actually do. I would be pretty turned off and disturbed if I found out my husband sat around and joked about being a jerk to me with the guys at work, but came home and was the sweetest and most helpful man ever. Even your humor should reflect how you really are. It’s part of being an authentic person. If my husband was in that group of men, I hope he would be the authentic one who just told it like it was. That he was exhausted too because he helped. Can’t talking about being exhausted and helping to change poopy diapers be funny too? Or is it more funny to pretend to be part of the stereotypical crowd of men who don’t take responsibility in helping with the baby.
I’m sorry if I am coming on strong, but as I said, those children are impressionable. The fact that I don’t find that type of humor funny aside, you men could have used that opportunity to have a real discussion amongst those young boys about what it means to be a loving, responsible and helpful husband and father. You completely wasted a teachable moment. Sure it may have gone right over their heads, but why on earth would you choose to make jokes about being a lazy husband and father instead?
Would also like to add that you have made me so grateful for my wife. When my wife was in labor with my 1st born she was in her 3rd trimester when 8 came through the door. She had puked all over the bathroom. This may have been the defining moment where I learned to breathe through my mouth only. Before I cleaned it up though I disapearee for a moment and came back into the room with a half mask respirator. We laughed while she was working in her labor and I was cleaning up puke before we left for the hospital. I think that is absolutely hilarious. My wife and still laugh at that moment. I am so grateful. Extretmely thankful. THANK YOU. I am done now. I an cutting myself off for the day regardless. If I have offended anyone else my apologies. I will read in immense gratitude.
Phil, I do want to apologize for coming on strong. I am a bit of a spit-fire. Full of sass as my husband says. I am pretty sensitive when it comes to the topic of pregnancy, childbirth, and childcare. Especially when it comes to some men believing that it really should be the woman who does it all. I don’t know exactly where in history that line of thinking started but I detest it. The fact that older generations of men think it so odd that a lot of younger generation fathers are so much more involved than they were just floors me. How did they not help with diapers, or bed time, or baths? Never?! I know that a lot of them worked long hours, but SO DID THEIR WIFE! ALL DAY LONG! WITH A TINY LITTLE PERSON WHO CAN’T DO ANYTHING FOR THEMSELF! How can a person not be aware of how much work actually goes into caring for a child? The only thing I can figure is that they chose to turn a blind eye on it and tell themself that it was the woman’s responsibility and that she was better at it (never bothering to just jump in and learn the way she had to). It really makes me mad and sad at the same time. That is why I seemed to spew fire all over your comment. It is a subject that really gets me on fire. I do apologize for the extra helping of sass.
Thank you for your apology, Samantha! I think Phil was trying to say, too, that he agrees that men need to be more involved.
It’s hard navigating social situations. I know I’ve laughed plenty of times just out of discomfort when I wish I hadn’t. It’s sort of like that article I wrote last week on how it’s okay to be rude–that fight, flight, or FREEZE response. I think going along with the crowd is kind of like freezing. We don’t want to do it, but we’re unsure what we should do in that situation, and we’re confused, so we just go along with it as we process it, and then before you know it we’re in too deep. I do that far too often.
But, yes, it drives me nuts too when some men think that it’s entirely their wives’ job to look after the kids (just like it drives me nuts when some women don’t put in any effort to make their marriages work).
I see exactly what you are saying, Sheila. I have laughed out of discomfort myself on several occasions when I wish I hadn’t. Again, I apologize for being a bit to passionate/sassy in my responses.
Good points. An additional lie is that marriage can “generally” be thought of apart from children. We need to stress the centrality of procreation in regards to sex, since effective birth control methods have seperated the two in the minds of many and killed responsible behavior. Apart from raising children, is there really a need for a monogamous relationship? Boys in particular, need to be taught to aspire to fatherhood.
I’ve read before where people talk about “sexual compatability” as a reason for not saving sex for marriage. Like, “How can you plan to spend your life with someone if you don’t know if you’re sexually compatible?”
It’s such an absurd notion to me, but I feel like there are people who genuinely believe that. Very sad.
Kristen. When I was younger my wife and I lived in sin together. We were engaged and both of us had sexual partners before each other. Her parents mandated we were engaged before we could move in together. (Like it mattered at that point?). I was going to marry her anyway. Together my wife and I came up with that it was just like test driving a car. You have to know what you are getting into. In all areas. Today I know that is a bunch of crap. We bought our own crap though…and boy did she find out what she was in for. But that just goes to show you how we both had messed up messages. I can also add that our sex life beagn its tumble not soon there after when we moved in togther. I can sight the exact moment. It took basically 20 years to fully recover and we are still working on it.
Kristina, my father-in-law believes that and yet he was horrified by the thought of one of his sons getting a girl pregnant so he didn’t want them having sex before they were married. And yet my husband’s parents never talked about sex with their boys. My parents never talked with me either. We both came into marriage with our own sets of issues, and somehow by the Grace of God we have sorted through our individual messes together and now have a very fulfilling, functional, and Godly sex life. I wish parents would realize how much they damage their children and set them up for failure by not having the right understanding of sex for themselves so they are able to pass it along to their children. Honestly I KNOW my husband and I have a deeper understanding of sex and what it really means than our parents do and we have only been married 4 years! I don’t think teens are the only ones who need a crash course on what sex really is and what it is supposed to mean.
Samantha, I hear what you are saying, but truth is your parents probably were not given much direction either.
Doug, I agree. But I don’t think either of our parents ever did any real work to find the right direction. Not being given the proper direction does not excuse you from seeking the proper direction for yourself. Sure it makes it much harder, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it.
Samantha, you are right it gives no excuse, but it might help us be more sympathetic toward our parents. The church is much to blame in this matter in only pointing out sex offenses and not directing husbands toward intimacy and learning how to pleasure their wives. My wife and I met in a 25k member mega-church. We were engaged and my wife was seeking to learn about marriage. One night at church she attended a special movie showing of Gary Smalley on marriage and the differences between men and women. She was told by church leadership to leave because it was only for married couples. Be thankful for helpful sites like TLHV!
Doug, I have a lot of sympathy for both sets of parents. I talk marriage frequently with my own mother and my mother-in-law. I WANT them to have better marriages. But they are set in their ways and why on earth would they listen to a woman who has only been married a short time. And a daughter(in-law) at that. My mother has a very “just wait a few years and you’ll see” attitude and my mother-in-law allows my father-in-law to walk all over her because he isn’t a Christian. I agree, the church has failed a lot of married couples in a lot of ways. But strictly speaking about Christian marriages, everyone should own a Bible and the instructions for how a marriage is supposed to be are in those pages. The church may fail to fully teach what is in those pages, but I also think the people who attend those churches need to have the courage to speak up and point out what needs to be taught. We can blame preachers all day long for not being thorough enough but how are they supposed to improve on that if the congregation stays silent about needing more guidance in a certain area?
And the church your wife was attending sounds like a total nightmare.
Fair enough. I am really not interested in fighting with anyone around here. I am interested in getting to God’s message and practicing it in my daily life. If I can share my story, maybe, just maybe someone can see themselves differently. These types of interactions with others if done so in a healthy manner can also be helpful. This has certainly helped me. Thank you. PEACE.
I’m not interested in fighting either so I guess I am learning that perhaps I need to reflect longer so I can express myself in a less heated manner. Peace to you as well and God Bless.
Also Samantha -sorry I lied once now about not commenting further today may as well go for twice. I just really want you to know this about me. I came here for the purpose of sex. I wanted to fix my marriage from all the damage I did. My MO was somewhat right and somewhat wrong. What I found here was Jesus….and sex lol. And a book more. I was rooting you on yesterday with your rant. I even went to John to read up on your reference. I get so much from being here. I am glad to be walking with you. 😀
Glad to be walking with you too, Phil. And I’m glad the reference took you to that passage in John. I love getting into the word! Finding Jesus is the sweetest experience you can have in this life. I’m also glad that you and your wife are in a much better place now! Praise God!
Thanks Sheila, this is so necessary!! Gosh I wish you’d been around when I was a teen. It’s baffling to think of the harmful ignorance I was under then. And hey, 10 years into marriage, I still keep hoping #8 will be true. Where did that whole making love all night thing come from if it’s a physical impossibility??
Thanks for your work!
Ah yes,,, number 6. But, it was worse in my family. My parents attitude towards porn was that it was perfectly acceptable for my brother (he had huge stacks of magazines) and that it was okay for boys to have sex, because boys will be boys, but “normal” girls did not think about sex or want sex until after the were married. Further, any girl who had sex outside of marriage was a mental case and the filthiest kind of human being. These are very screwy ideas and yes I came into marriage thinking that sex was dirty and shameful, that my normal sexual desires were disgusting and that sex was mostly a man thing. It took me decades to get past this.
It’s sad how prevalent that mentality is. I’m so glad you are working through those lies you’ve been told though, Trish! Because they truly ARE lies.
Oh, dear, Trish! I find that so STRANGE when parents do that. Do they really not care that their teenage boys are carrying on like that? I don’t understand the double standard. I know it’s very prevalent; it’s just so far from how I think I can’t even understand it.
I can explain the double standard. I’m not saying that it’s right (it’s not), but I can explain it, at least the porn part. Guys are, in general, more visually stimulated sexually, so a number of parents realize that porn has more of an allure to boys than to girls. Because of this, some parents give boys a free pass on porn.
That really isn’t an explanation. That’s either people incapable of intellectual honesty and thinking through consequences. Or moral and intellectual laziness.
If. “boys will be boys” and girls who want sex are disgusting and mentally ill, some of the more obvious implications are
1) boys are incapable of resisting sin or being responsible for their own actions or regulating their desires. That is, they are subhuman. A kind of animal
2) you are A-OK with your sun being trained to desire disgusting mentally ill women?
Furthermore. Sex is either evil and disgusting or it isn’t. It can’t be evil for one half of the couple having it but not the other. That sully doesn’t make any sense.
But most baffling is WHO are the boys supposed to have sex with?? If “good girls” or you know, not mentally ill girls (who are presumably the maria gable kind) don’t have sex, who are the boys having sex with? Each other? Like seriously. This simply does not compute if you think about it even for a nanosecond.
“You really shouldn’t talk about sex”
I can relate with your Facebook commenter on this. I got married at 19 and the first years were really awkward especially with my relatives. I didn’t want them to think that I got married early so I can have sex everyday. Because that’s what my friends always said, “you’re now licensed to have sex everyday.”
Your ‘Top 10 Misperceptions about Sex Teenagers Have’ made me laugh, coz that’s true. I can laugh at it now coz I already know better. But I have a teen son who’s still clueless. When he was younger he thought that if his nuts were hit he can no longer have a baby. For a teenager, sex education is an awkward rite of passage. They reach a certain age when their peers will make fun of them if they’re still a virgin. I told him sex is something you need to prepare for and not a “let’s get it over with” kind of thing. I let my husband do more of the sex education since I’m no expert when it comes to male physiology. My contribution is concerning emotions and feelings and telling him that, yeah, it’s NOT all about “the deed.”
You missed out, NO, you are NOT the only one of your peers who hasn’t done it yet… even a couple of years after you’re of legal age.