Sometimes small things can make the biggest changes in improving a marriage!

This week I’m gearing up for my daughter Katie’s wedding on Saturday, and so I’m posting some round-ups to some of my favourite posts addressing marriage. I’ve got 2500 posts on this blog; chances are you haven’t read them all! So I thought I’d pick several topics this week and link to some of the best ones!

Recently Keith and I presented our own marriage conference in Pittsburgh (with material that we wrote ourselves). And one of the big themes that we were trying to hammer home is that often little changes in a marriage, little shifts in how you do things, end up making the biggest difference.

(Want us to come speak at your church? Just email my ministry director Tammy!)

So today I thought I’d share some of my favourite posts about little things that make a huge difference.

My advice? Just pick one idea–and then follow through! Don’t try to do them all. But chances are one will speak to your specific circumstance:

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The Best Marriage Habits to Improve a Marriage

The Twenty Minute Marriage Secret

What if all it took to make you feel close was twenty minutes a day? What if communication didn’t have to be that challenging? We often think that marriage requires hours and hours to stay close. I don’t think it does. It just means being purposeful in our interactions!

10 Ways to Initiate Prayer with Your Spouse

What difference would it make in your marriage if you could start praying everyday–and have it not feel awkward? The emphasis in this post is on how to make praying out loud easier if one or both of you feels uncomfortable! Praying as a couple doesn’t need to be that hard.

25 Quick Ways to Show Your Husband Love

This “exchange lists” idea was one of the best things we did for our marriage–and helped us develop habits that we’ve kept ever since. I’ll even let you get away with just 20 if you can’t think of 25. But try it!

Two Keys to a Successful Marriage:

Do you scan for things to praise, or scan for things to criticize? Two things that really matter when it comes to marital success, according to the Gottmann Institute. These make your marriage!

One Habit to Start that Helps You Connect

If there’s one thing you can do daily that will help you communicate more and understand each other more, it’s this! And it’s so much better than just saying, “how was your day?” I call it the Marriage Check In.

79 Hobbies to Share with Your Spouse

Okay, again, I’m not saying you have to pick 79! But I was on an interview yesterday with a bunch of young moms, and so many were saying, “now that we have kids we don’t have any fun together.” Well, maybe you need a hobby, so that your whole life isn’t just the kids. And hobbies don’t have to be expensive, and they don’t have to take a lot of time. Check out this list of hobbies for couples!

Adults Need Bedtimes, Too!

One of the best things you can do for your marriage is to go to bed at the same time. And yet most of us don’t. When Katie gets married, this is one of the habits she wants to instigate most. David has to get up so early to be at PT (physical training for the military) every morning. So that means that they’ll have to go to bed by 10 or 10:30 at the latest, and get up around 6:30. That’s a stretch for my Katie who has never had to get up early in her life, and who often stays up way too late. But she wants to get in the same routine. So go to bed together!

The Best Mind Shifts to Improve a Marriage

Why I Stopped Resolving Conflict–and You Should Too

This is honestly one of the most ground-breaking insights I think I’ve ever had about marriage, and I really want this concept to catch on more. The reason that we often have conflict is because we honestly have no idea how to identify what the real issue is. And 90% of the time, we’re fighting over something that isn’t even the issue. Identify the issue, and it’s much easier to find the win-win! Here’s how.

Do you Believe the Best in your marriage?

What we believe about our spouse really impacts our ability to get through little conflicts and annoyances during the day, and can turn around a whole day. Do you believe the best?

The One Thing Couples Get Wrong about Date Nights

If you want to connect more, you don’t have to do it with an expensive dinner and movie out. Here’s what married couples often get wrong about date nights!


Here’s the great thing about all of those posts: none of them require more than 15 minutes. Many of them take less than five, and others are just mind shifts that make a huge difference in your marriage.

But they all can transform the way you relate to each other and help you feel like you know each other’s hearts more and you have each other’s backs.

It is so easy to drift apart in marriage and start feeling like you’re not connecting anymore, or wondering if you each even want to be together anymore. On the podcast I was doing with young moms yesterday, so many echoed the sentiment that their lives revolve around the kids, they worry that their husband resents the children, and now they have to add “caring for my marriage” to their already full to-do list.

I get it. But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if it weren’t honestly that hard to make sure that you each felt cared for? That’s what I’m aiming for–to show you that it’s just little habits that can make the biggest difference.

If you’re feeling discouraged today, like you’re never connecting, or if you’re just feeling like things aren’t as fresh as they once were, read through these and decide on the ONE that you want to try to implement. And I hope that they make a huge difference for you, too!

Struggling to Feel Emotionally Connected?

I’ve got help!

Sign up for my 5 week emotional reconnection e-course. It’s free. It’s fun. And it’s step-by-step, little things that encompass many of these posts, and help you grow together again!

What marriage habits do you think are most important? Leave me some advice to pass on to Katie!

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