This week we’ve been talking about the tough parts of marriage.
We wanted to leave the week on a more uplifting note, though, and since today is my eldest’s birthday, I thought she could write a quick, lighthearted post about something she loves.
And what she really loves is her dog that she and Connor adopted last year. So I thought all you dog lovers would enjoy it!
Here’s Becca!
For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted a dog.
My dad was super allergic, though, and we travelled a lot as a family so it just never happened. But for Christmas I’d get a Sleepy Puppies calendar, in art class I’d draw fluffy Pomeranians and droopy bloodhounds, and when I wrote short stories the love interest always had a dog.
Fast forward to university. I met a guy who was just as obsessed with dogs as I was–he had a whippet and a boxer growing up, and his parents had just adopted their first rescue pup, too. When Connor saw how stressed I was with school and how much the corgis who hung out around campus helped, he started seriously considering getting a dog for us.
I think he was a little less thrilled when I said I wanted a tiny toy breed, but I quickly won him over.
We looked for the right dog for months. I didn’t want to do the whole pet shop thing because of the puppy mills that the dogs come from, so we researched breeders and looked on Kijiji for older dogs that needed homes.
And then we found Winston.
I saw Winston online, called his owner, and then called Connor and told him, “I found a dog, we’re going to meet him tonight!”
Within 5 hours, he was our precious Yorkshire Terrier.
Winston 2 hours after adopting him. (He would soon ruin that couch.)
I was so happy that I don’t think I stopped crying for about 4 hours after we got him. We adopted our Yorkie directly from his previous owners who simply couldn’t take care of him anymore because of a family situation. We brought him home on March 31st, and I remember telling Connor, “I’m just so scared I’m going to wake up tomorrow and find out this has just been a huge April Fool’s joke!”
When we got him, he wasn’t entirely house trained (as our couch soon found out), and he hadn’t been groomed in 9 months (which is bad for Yorkies) so he hated being brushed, and was used to eating human food almost exclusively. So it was a bit of work to get him to learn what his new rules would be. He still hates getting brushed, especially his face.
After we got him his first haircut–I didn’t even recognize him!
Getting Winston has made me even more grateful to have married someone like Connor.
I live in my head a bit. I’m constantly thinking about “What if?” and have 1 million dreams at any given moment that I’m working towards.
Connor’s a bit more spontaneous than I am. I said, “I want a dog” and he says, “That sounds great” and actually gets me a dog. If I was on my own, I likely would have talked myself out of it.
When Winston started having joint problems, Connor kept his cool when I was freaking out. When he stopped eating, Connor reminded me that kibble probably just doesn’t taste as good as the human food he’s used to (and sure enough, he started eating again after 48 hours).
But at the same time, I’m the one who makes sure that he does his exercises for his knee, keeps up with vet visits and grooming, and goes for walks (although we can’t get him to walk in the winter–any small-dog owners in colder climates with tips? Right now I’m just getting him to play a lot indoors so he gets exercise).
We balance each other nicely, and having Winston has brought us even closer.
Our first Halloween
Most of all, having a dog has just made me stupidly happy.
I think that we often forget that sometimes it’s the small things that bring the most joy. For me, it’s a 5-pound grumpy old-man yorkie. Yes, it’s a lot of work and having a dog is a bit inconvenient when it comes to travelling. But as an extrovert who works from home and finds it difficult to be “in the moment” he is the perfect companion.
It’s difficult to get too caught up worrying about the future when this face is staring up at you, asking for belly rubs:
Winston today
But having a dog has actually helped our marriage become even more fun. And here’s how:
1. More time together
This is the most obvious one. We take walks, we teach him tricks (he’s actually quite smart), and we just spend time playing with him. We spent time together before the dog, of course, but it’s nice to have that shared play time where we can just be silly rough-housing with the dog (as much as you can rough-house with a 5 pound yorkie).
2. Winston reduces the stress level in the house
I’m very high-strung. Having a dog has helped so much. I am so grateful I had him over this summer when I was working on launching my book! I just sat at my desk with my tiny dog in my lap for hours and feeling him cuddle up to me made the stress just melt away when before I likely would have begun to panic.
3. He keeps us on a schedule
I have to feed him, walk him (or get him to exercise inside if he won’t brave the cold), and give him enough attention for him to feel loved and secure. It helps my days feel more structured, even when I’m sick or overwhelmed with work.
4. We spend more time just cuddling
We’ll lie in bed reading books with Winston curled up between us every night. It’s my favourite part of the day!
5. We share a bond with our dog
I’m not one of those people who thinks that having a dog is the same as having a kid (please, most parents would give anything for their kid to sleep more than half the day), but you do feel quite protective when you have a dog. He’s yours, and Connor and I really feel like we’ve made a little family. And it makes us feel so much closer to have that shared love that no one else really gets.
This year has been such a blessing for our marriage.
We’re both working and out of school, we’ve finally found an apartment without any violent crime or black mould, and we have our little dog. I’m looking forward to what 2018 will bring our family!
Thanks, Honey! And Happy Birthday! (And Winston is really cute).
Becca’s on her way over right now because she’s hosting Katie’s bachelorette party. A whole lot of girls are coming to our house, and Keith and I are vacating. So she’ll spend her birthday celebrating Katie’s upcoming wedding. It’s okay; I still bought her chocolate cake!
(If you want to see all about it, make sure you’re signed up for my weekly email! Next week I’ll include pictures! 🙂 ).
Any of you have a dog? How has it helped your family?
Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach is a 23-year-old Canadian blogger/author and the daughter of Sheila Wray Gregoire. Married since 2015, she is passionate about helping others challenge the status quo and live for more, whether in their relationships, their educational or occupational goals, or their walks with God. And yes, like her mother, she also knits.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 25 years and happily married for 20! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 8 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.
This is so timely! My husband and I adopted a dog this week, and the first day or so, it felt like we had added a 3rd child! Our small kids felt so nervous and threatened, and all their toys have to be picked up all the time, and on and on.
But everyone is settling in and last night my husband and I just sat on the floor petting her for like a half hour. I know we would have been surfing our phones otherwise.
Here’s to pet ownership and family togetherness! 🙂
How fun!
I grew up always having a cat and dogs. (My husband did, too, but mostly outside animals.) In our first apartment, we couldn’t have animals –and it probably wouldn’t have been a good idea anyway in less than 500 square feet–and it was fine, but I was always wishing for a pet. Now we’re in a small rental house with a cat, and he just makes me happy. I don’t feel like I’m missing that part of my life anymore. I would love to have a dog, too, but we’re only allowed one pet. Hopefully someday when we buy a house!
Becca is right about having something to care about together. We want to have kids someday, but for now we at least a have a little something to round out the family.
Hey Becca – they make liitle booties for little dogs in cold climates. Their paws freeze up so easy when they are so small. Not sure where to find but I am sure Amazon would be a good start. We got the dog thing going on. Our first dog died just after our 3rd child was born. Then we got a puppy and I used it as a tool to push my youngest to get potty trained. It was good incentive. Our little Lorna is such a spoiled dog. She always takes my blankets! Now my youngest wants a bunny. I think they are stupid pets. I wish I was alergic. I have cracked. We are going to do the bunny for him later this year. Did I just say that? Pets are nice additions to family. They really can bring you together.
Phil,
As a rabbit owner please, I beg you, to not get a rabbit as a pet for a child. They’re actually very smart animals but also high maintenance and quite costly. A child cannot handle an animal like that and with no disrespect, it’s highly irresponsible. I’m writing this from my phone and can’t link any websites but there are plenty websites out there that will suggest that a rabbit is never a good idea for a child nor anyone who can’t or who doesn’t want to deal with a high maintenance animal. They require a minimum of 4 hours of cage free exercise, socialized attention, vet visits twice a year that costs me $60 and above, spay/neuter which can cost around $300. Please don’t do it.
I forgot to mention their cage must the size of a decent size dog pen or larger. Pet store cages are cruel and imhumane. And that’s just the basics.
Hi Michelle. Thank you for your thoughts. The reasons you lay out are exactly why I don’t want to do it. I used to work for a veterinarian when I was younger so I knew exactly what my son was asking us to sign up for. We visited a bunny rescue a month ago to get the real deal. We are fully aware of the requirements. Including the shelter requirements. I will give you some peace of mind also that when I do something I do it as right and as close to perfect as possible. That is my perfectionism issue I walk around with. So rest assured if a bunny enters our family it will be well cared for. I will apologize for my comments. I am a bit of a jokester and I tend to lay out it like I think. Sometimes I get nabbed by the activists when I speak and then I have to clarify. In addition, when a person writes it can certainly come across wrong. Thanks take care.
Thank you for that. I’ve been thinking about your comment since I saw it yesterday and was hoping you wouldn’t get a rabbit without doing your due diligence and are fully aware of the level of care they require. So, your comment eases my mind a bit. I’m just so passionate about educating people about animals, especially ones as delicate as rabbits, because a large percentage of them are released into the wild and don’t know how to fend themselves and die or are dropped off at rescues that are already over crowded.
This post is so so on point!
About a year ago someone posted on Facebook a picture of some labrador puppies that they had found on the side of the road. I sent a screenshot to my husband as a joke, expecting a big fat “no”. We lived in a tiny apartment, there was no way a lab could fit. He responded with a yes & I lost any self control to say no so I went & got one. He’s been the best thing for us. We’ve been struggling with infertility & while we know he isn’t our child, having him to care for, play with & snuggle is just the best comfort sometimes. I was the animal lover before but this puppy is my husband’s world. He loads him up in the truck & they just go driving for the fun of it sometimes. We can’t imagine life w/o him. I firmly believe the world would be a better place if everyone had a dog.
Winston is so cute! Even though I’m not a dog person (and our apartment doesn’t allow them anyway), I definitely agree that having something like that to care for/about together is good for a marriage. I’ll have to do a bit of brainstorming! 🙂
Wow, we are so different! Neither my hubby nor I are pet people at all, but we do have two little girls to snuggle 🙂 Winston is awfully cute though, I have to admit that!
Yay, the dog is so cute. I love the story of how he got the dog. And when couples have something that they can do together, it’s fun.
My husband has never had a dog and never wanted one. He didn’t like them and shooed them away when they came near. I wasn’t a big fan either. One day, a dog showed up in our front yard when he was working outside. We found out later from a neighbor that they saw someone drop the dog off and take off. She is a golden retriever/german shepherd mix. My husband just says that he cannot explain it but somehow he just had a connection with that dog. He put her in the back yard and called me. I thought he was crazy. We had her scanned and no chip. Over the next few weeks, he fell in love with that dog. He didn’t enjoy the baby stage of our children and wasn’t really nurturing to the little ones. I could not believe the attention and baby talk he gave this dog.
Hubby’s dad left when he was 8ish and he came into the marriage with some emotional baggage. I think maybe the unconditional love this dog gives him is a healing balm.
That’s lovely, Sandy! I think that’s why dogs can be used for PTSD, too. They just love on you.
What a great story. I love how dogs can often give us more than we give them. They can bring so much joy to our lives.
Hi, Becca and Sheila! This is a great article! I really enjoyed reading it. It`s very easy to feel your love for Winston trough this article and all of the joy he`s bringing to you. You really made some good points with benefits he brought to your life and a marriage. I was wondering, do you think having a pet together can also test the relationship?
Dogs, the families best friend. They are not just great for husband and wife (partner and partner). They’re also fantastic for the whole family, getting the kids off their screens and out in the garden or countryside for a walk in nature for FAMILY time.