How do you choose sexy pajamas–that are still warm?
Recently I wrote a “Fight the Frump” series at the blog, where I encouraged all of us to try to spend just a few minutes looking put together every morning–to show that we respect ourselves. It was a super fun week, but in the middle of it I received an SOS from a reader.

Reader Question
You’ve got to help me with pajamas! I sleep in sweat pants and t-shirts with holes in them. Definitely frumpy!
I get it. In fact, just to prove it to you, I took a picture of myself one morning last week when I had definitely not put any thought into what pajamas I was throwing on:
Okay, at least I was patriotic!
But still.
That’s pathetic.
We’ve got to do something about this! And so today, for Top 10 Tuesday, I thought I would tackle the winter pajama dilemma.
I know that not all of you face this. If you live in the southern United States, or if you’re Down Under right now where it’s summer, then you likely aren’t worried about warm pajamas. But for those of us who live in more northern climates, winter pajamas are a bit of a challenge. In the summer we can wear cute 2-pieces and super cute nightgowns, but in the winter we want to be warmer. And warmth usually = flannel. And flannel is very rarely sexy!
In fact, I had a running joke in one of the Girls Night Out events I did about a flannel nightgown I once had. This nightgown sent a very definite message–“No Trespassing”. And that’s not a message we want to be sending! (Or, if you do want to send it, then you really should get my Boost Your Libido course!)
Are you TIRED of always being too tired for sex?
So let’s talk about how to choose pajamas that don’t say “No Trespassing”, but that still keep us from freezing!
I’ve written quite a bit on this blog about how frumpy makes us grumpy, and how modest shouldn’t mean dowdy. But warm shouldn’t mean dowdy, either. So let’s figure out how to look great together.
This post will contain affiliate links that go to supporting the costs of this blog (which are considerable!).
1. Go with a 2-Piece Set
Nightgowns tend to be colder, and you have to wear them with really thick socks, which can be off-putting in its own way.
In general, then, to stay warm, stick to a 2-piece pajama set.
But how do you make it sexy?
2. Bright Colors Make for Sexy Pajamas
Go for bright colors, like deep red or deep purple–or even black. Stay away from pastels which are too “girly”. You want a colour that says, “I am a woman”, not “where’s my Barbie?”
Seriously, look at the difference between that and something like this:
The black says, “I’m interested in night time things.” The pink says–well, I’m not really sure what it says. But it’s not, “let’s get it on!”
3. Think the Right Prints for Sexy Pajamas
Shy away from anything with small cute animals (like kittens), or ice cream cones or flowers (like the one above!), or anything that looks like a 12-year-old girl could wear it.
Instead, go for something like a leopard print, or a plaid.
See it here.
See it here!
4. Choose Form Fitting Pajamas to Make You Feel Sexy
Here are some form-fitting flannel long john pajamas. No one can say these are dowdy, but they do keep one warm!
See it here!
Or you can go for another fitted look. As long as they’re ribbed pajamas, they’re still really comfortable!
See it here.
In fact, this is the look that I’ve chosen to go for this Christmas! Every Boxing Day I buy new pajamas for the family, and this year I chose some purple thermals for myself. They’re so soft, too! And our reader who sent in the question sent me this “after” picture after she bought herself some thermals (she invited me to share it!)
(Those look remarkably like the ones I linked to above!)
Choosing winter pajamas that don’t send a “No Trespassing” message, but that still keep us from freezing – isn’t as difficult as it sounds!
5. Buttons Can Be Sexy!
…because they can be UNbuttoned. If you’re not comfortable with form-fitting pajamas, that’s okay. Just remember the fun that you can have with 2-piece ensembles that have buttons!
See it here.
6. Something He Loves Can Be Sexy!
Is he really into sports? Why not buy some flannel pajamas that celebrate his team (or your team)?
See it here.
7. Warm Pajamas Can Still Be Satin
Satin can be surprisingly warm, and the material says “sexy”. So try mixing it up, and don’t just go for cotton or flannel or fleece.
See it here.
Here’s another tip: buy some satin sheets! If you’ve got a really warm duvet, then satin sheets will still keep you warm enough, and they can add some heat to the bedroom.
See it here.
8. Try a warm–and long–nightgown!
I’ve been showing you all 2-piece sets because I tend to think they’re the warmest. But you can go for a warm nightgown, too!
See it here!
9. A great duvet lets you wear whatever you want! (and that’s sexy!)
Finally, here’s something I always recommend: just get a super warm duvet! It’s one of the best investments you can make. Yes, a real duvet is more expensive than a comforter set, but it’s super luxurious. And don’t you want your bed to feel great? If you have a warm duvet and a super warm robe, then you can wear light nightgowns or sexy 2-piece sets all year round. I have a friend who even sleeps naked (up here in Canada!) all year round, because her duvet is so awesome.
Pair them with some Slumber Cloud temperature regulated sheets (which hold heat in and release it later, keeping you cool when you need it or heating you up when you need it), and you’re all set to go!
See it here.
10. Keep a space heater near the bed at night.
If you and your hubby don’t want to pay to heat the whole house overnight, you can at least pay for a few minutes of electricity to keep your half of the bed warm! And then it’s easier to want to get OUT of those pajamas–whichever ones you’re wearing–and have some fun.
Like this post? Check these ones out:
Fight the Frump: Finding an Easy Hairstyle
Let me know in the comments: How do you feel pretty and feminine if you’re a northern girl like me and it’s freezing at night? What do you wear?
Totally agree about wearing tight pjs – they look cute, and they actually keep my skin covered, and I’m warmer. I can’t sleep if one of us moves around in bed letting chilly drafts under the covers. I found that conventional flannel or fleece pants scoot up to my knees leaving my calves cold, but tight leggings stay put. One trick I use is wearing a snug, very soft sweater – cashmere is very hands-on, which is sexy. My husband really likes it. From time to time I find them at thrift stores for just a few dollars. They usually have a flaw (small hole). I just mend them, but the are not quite perfect enough to wear out, so I started to wear them to bed.
I love that, Mina! (And I’m big on thrift store sweaters, too. I often scour them for handknit wool sweaters, just so I can take it out and reuse the great wool!). And I love my new thermals.
Lol! This post is so timely for me. I just had my second baby about five days ago and I want to be intentional about not getting mom frump or postpartum frump. I want my husband to see me as a sexy mom and for us to keep our relationship as a top priority. That all being said – my parents gifted me a soft, cozy robe to wear once the baby came. What new mom doesnโt want a nice cozy robe right? Lol – except they got it from the jr girls section and it has cartoon kittens all over it! I appreciated the gift, but I just cannot wear something with kittens. Iโm nearly 30, not 8. I joked with my husband that we found our new birth control!
“we found our new birth control.” TOO FUNNY! I hear you. I have two super warm robes I wear all the time. They’re a necessity. But mine don’t have kittens. ๐
Get a heated mattress pad. Thatโs another great option for being able to wear skimpier sleepwear all year. ๐
So on the Sleep Cloud stuff…
I would love to get *something* from their set for my husband for Christmas (he tends to get too hot, not cold). Which piece is most essential? Sheets? Pillow? Pillowcase? (Why would one need both the pillow and the case?)
Hi Susanna! I just checked with Slumber Cloud, and here’s what they said:
“If you were to only purchase one item, I would suggest one of the mattress pads. Layering your bed with multiple products increases the temperature regulation abilities, so a bed with multiple products, or pillows and covers will have better performance. Think of it kind of like adding more ice to a glass of water (the water stays cooler for longer).”
Ever since our youngest child moved out of our bed, my choice has been number 9. ๐ And while it rarely goes below freezing where we live, it does get down to near freezing occasionally, and we have no heating, and have had 10-12 degrees Celsius (50-54 F) in our bedroom. But we have an awesome duvet. ๐ (And with babies/children in the bed, I wore a very short nightgown or a t-shirt–I have never, even as a child, been able to stand any clothing on my legs in bed.)
And I just showed my husband all the photos in this post, and his opinion remains that NO pajamas are best. ๐
I’m always amazed people can do pajamas. Even living in the north and with the window open all winter, two people in a bed makes for more heat than I can take. ๐ I could do with cuter loungewear for around the house, though.
I’m not sure I even understand the concept of “sexy,” lol. OK, these all look . . . nice, I guess, and comfortable, sure, but that doesn’t translate to sexiness in my mind. Not even the satin ones, although they are certainly the prettiest of the lot. Love that color. “Sexy” may just be too abstract and subjective a concept for me to grasp, I think. Plaid is sexy? Since when? To who? Maybe that’s a Canadian thing? Idk. All I know it that I’d rather wear any one of these sets of PJs (yes, even the pink flowery ones!) than skimpy, uncomfortable lingerie that I’d freeze to death in. Even I know hypothermia is the opposite of sexy! Guess I’m not the target audience for this one, haha. Oh well. ๐
I think they just symbolize that you care about your appearance, even (especially?) going to bed.
Nice pajamas make me feel better about myself, anyway, which is likely to make me feel more in the mood, even if my husband doesnโt care what Iโm wearing.
We have an electric mattress pad on our bed and that helps tremendously with keeping me warm. I turn it on a few hours before bed and my sheets are nice and toasty when I get it.
4 is my go to, my husband likes my sleep ware to hug my curves. I like the suggestion of a good duvet cover for the bed, we donโt have a very nice duvet but we have an afghan that we put on our bed over the duvet we have.The afghan that we use is the one I made for him when we were dating.
Oh, I’m working on knitting a bed covering right now, too! I’ll likely use it in the summer when our duvet is too hot, but I just love it. I love handmade things!
I am roasty toasty when I sleep and an ice cube when I’m awake. I usually wear a cute chemise or night-dress under my sweats and sweatshirt. The warm clothes come off before I go to sleep. No complaints from my husband yet!
If I want to wear something special that I know he’ll like, I just tell him I’m putting it on and then it doesn’t stay on for long ๐
We have a space heater on my nightstand and I am so glad I bought it. I do need to work on my pajama game, though, and I think I’ll send my husband a link to the rib knit set. I think he needs Christmas ideas ๐
Sheila,
I’m not sure how I missed this post, but it is hilarious! I swear it sounds like you sneaked into my house and saw my pajamas. The “no trespassing” ones? Yes, I own a pair of those!
But I never thought of the long 2 peice satin set! I will be on the lookout for those, surely with Valentines coming up, they ought to go on sale in the stores! ๐ . Thanks for the great ideas ~ Johanna