So 7:30 on Saturday night Keith and I were eating dinner, getting ready to go watch season 2 of Dark Matter on Netflix while I finished casting off for a skirt I’m knitting.
Then we got a phone call. My father, who has advanced Alzheimer’s, was in the hospital with pneumonia and wasn’t expected to recover.
By 8:30 I was in the car driving to my daughter Rebecca’s in Ottawa, where I spent the night. At 5:30 the next morning Rebecca and I were on the way to the airport, and by noon PST we had arrived in Vancouver.
We spent the afternoon and evening at the hospital yesterday and we’re getting ready to go back in just a few minutes.
So needless to say, blogging will be light over the next few days, and since Rebecca works on the blog with me and she’s also out here with me, we likely won’t be replying to comments much. Sorry about that! (We will see comments tonight though! And we’ll be checking Facebook throughout the day).
But two things before I go: prayers would be much appreciated, for some difficult decisions that will need to be made over the next few days.
Second: my dad can get very agitated, and I know that Alzheimer’s patients are often calmed by memories from when they were much younger. Yesterday when they were changing his IV Rebecca and I sang Blessed Assurance, and that seemed to help a bit.
So if any of you came of age in the 1950s or 1960s, or know much about the period, what would have been the big hymns or gospel songs you would have sung? Or what would have been the calming songs of your teen years or early 20s? Becca and I can both carry a tune pretty well, so we’d like to see if that would work. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Then just one final observation: you know, hospital ministry is an important work. There was a woman with dementia just walking around the floor last night. She latched onto Rebecca and started talking to her as if she were her daughter. Rebecca just hugged her for a while and the woman started crying, and then we managed to get her back into her chair. Later when she was agitated again, Becca just said firmly, “Now, you need to sit here and stay here. But God bless you. Jesus sees you.” And she welled up and said, “Oh, thank you.”
So many poor souls are all alone on the hospital floor. It’s just very sad.
The family a few years ago at my half-brother’s wedding. About a year after my dad was diagnosed.
Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 25 years and happily married for 20! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 8 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.
I’m so sorry Sheila. May your father’s transition be one of peace. Hugs & prayers to you all!
Old Rugged Cross, It is Well With My Soul, How Great Thou Art, Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus, Great Is Thy Faithfulness, Be Thou My Vision, Blessed Assurance, Jesus Paid It all, What A Friend We have In Jesus, Just a Closer Walk With Thee, are a few which he may recall.
May God Bless and lead you as you face this time of hard decisions. Just pray and I am sure He will guide your way.
With Love,
Carolyn
Praying for you and your family, Sheila, that God would give you peace that passes understanding, and wisdom for the decisions to be made in the coming days💙🙏🏽 may God give you and Rebecca strength and comfort in this time. I don’t know what era these hymns are from, but a few old hymns i’ve always found comforting are: ‘Sweet Hour of Prayer’, ‘Whispering Hope’, ‘Abide With Me’, ‘What a Friend We Have In Jesus’, ‘Amazing Grace’, ‘Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus’, and ‘In The Garden’. May God bring peace to his soul in these tough hours- God bless and be with you all❤️
Hi Sheila. My friend’s Mom died of Alzheimer’s many years ago. I walked through it with him. I recall singing was a key part of his way of being with his Mom. He would play the piano and sing. He doesn’t play the piano or sing. He just did it. He made stuff up. A lot of it silly too. I recall his silliness calming his Mom as well as her “snapping out of it” to correct him. He would say some pretty outlandish stuff and it would throw her off and or back into reality for moments at a time. Alzheimer’s is a tough disease. We had some instances with my Mom years ago to lead us to believe she might have early Alzheimer’s. It has been quite some time since any instances have occurred so by the Grace of God it may have just been Thyroid issues which can produce similar symptoms. Praying for you and your Dad and your family. My friend lost his son on Saturday from pancreatic cancer. I was reminded that he is home now.
We lost my Papa to Alzheimer’s a year ago. He loved to talk about things he did as a boy & then his early career. The best thing we could do was “play” along. We would get Papa talking like we were out in the woods hunting or riding a tractor. Obviously, we weren’t but it made him so happy to relive those moments so we would discuss how good the hay looked (even though it was obviously not growing in November). I think the old hymn idea is great. Papa was a quiet man-definitely not one to sing but in his last few months he took to singing old nursery rhymes. So much love to y’all. My heart goes out to your family. Prayers for peace <3
I have no song ideas, but have been praying for all of you since I saw your post yesterday requesting song ideas.
Sorry to hear this news.
Songs I remember from my childhood which were also songs my grandmother sang were…..Amazing Grace, It is Well With My Soul, Abide with Me, Beautiful Saviour, What a Friend We Have in Jesus.
These are hard times… We pray for you and your family!
A friend is going thru this right now and also enjoying the old songs with her dad. Many are on YouTube of course. I’m trying to think of the one she mentioned HER dad, a retired missionary doctor was thinking of …. (looked it up – Follow Me by Ira Stanphill; there’s a nice Gaither (Larry Ford) version on YouTube).
THe Gaithers would have a LOT of the old favorites if you google them.
I’m praying for your family in these difficult days.
“How Great Thou Art”, “Nearer My God to Thee”
Praying for you and your family. We were at my father’s bedside almost exactly one year ago at this time. For songs of comfort, I think of “Amazing Grace” and “In the Garden”.
Sheila, I will be praying for you. My family loved to sing “Count Your Blessings” and “Family of God” (by the Gaithers). I also love “Near the Cross.” God is with you and will give you strength and wisdom!
I’m so sorry your going through this. Praying for your dad…Here are some hymns: come thou fount, blessed assurance, tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, fairest Lord Jesus, I come to the garden, safe in the arms of Jesus
Perhaps:
The Old Rugged Cross
Blessed Assurance
Trust & Obey
Doxology
He Lives (Gaither….already mentioned)
I’m so sorry to hear this. And so glad that you are able to be there.
Will be praying.
I went through this with my mother as she was leaving this earth. We sang hymns that comforted her and us and ministered to others in nearby rooms. I still have the last hymn we sang saved on my phone. If you need more hymnspiration check out my recently published post on iBelieve – http://www.ibelieve.com/slideshows/the-10-most-popular-christian-hymns-and-why-we-love-them.html
Blessings, comfort, wisdom, and peace to you my blogging friend.
My heart is with y’all! My great grandparents lived with us in their last years, they both had Alzheimer’s. We were a singing family, (dad was a pastor and we led worship together as well) so we sang all kinds of hymns to them, a lot! Especially when grams was agitated. I have to tell you though, it’s amazing how, even with their minds coming and going, their spirits ALWAYS responded in worship. They may have forgotten their names, but they never once forgot Jesus. I was a child then, but I will never, ever forget grams calling on Jesus in song in the moments she passed from earth into her Saviors arms. Bless y’all and I’m praying!
Our family will be praying for yours, and for the other folks on your father’s hospital floor. One hymn we love is “How Great Thou Art”. Blessings & peace to all of you.
Pandora is an app that plays music from lots of different genres. You can search for 40s and 50s tunes or southern gospel or put in a particular favorite song or artist of your Dad’s and it will create a channel with similar music. Prayers going up for all involved.
Dear Sheila and family, I am praying for your comfort and wisdom as you make decisions. My grandfather passed away several years ago after suffering from Alzheimer’s and it felt like the conclusion of a long period of watching him leave us.
I agree with Shelley’s suggested hymns. Below are a few more.
The Old Rugged Cross
He Leadeth Me
Face to Face With Christ My Savior
In the Sweet By and By
Softly and Tenderly Jesus Is Calling
His Eye Is On The Sparrow
Be Still My Soul
Day By Day
I pray for strength, wisdom annd comfort for you and your family Sheila.
The hymns already mentioned are great. I hope you’ll find some that resonate with you all.
“Jesus loves Me” did it for my mom. She even sang along a time or two to the shock and amazement of everybody since she didn’t talk otherwise.
I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. May God give you all peace and strength through this time. I have CD called Sacred that we’ve begun to use in our church that was specifically recorded to help those who are suffering and dying in hospital. It has well-known hymns played by Niki Vasilakis who is a world renowned violonist and a pastor’s wife. It’s really beautiful. If you’re interested, here’s the link to iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/au/album/sacred/id1149854454
I just now saw this, Sheila. I am praying for wisdom, strength, and peace over the coming days and weeks. Let others minister to you while you minister to your father.
Sending you and your family prayers of strength and peace during this time. The songs everyone has listed hopefully will bring some sense of comfort to all.
Its not really a hymn from that time but “michael row your boat ashore” has strong religious overtones and was big in the late 50s/early 60s. Praying for you.
My song ideas were already posted, but I’m praying for you all!
Praying for you and your family.
x
Praying for Peace and strength for all of you xx
Near to the heart of God
Just now reading this because I’ve been on vacation. Love and prayers to you and your family!
The Lord be with you all.And if it is your Dad’s time,then may the Lord take him safely home.One day soon,we will all be reunited with loved ones …..this is our hope in Christ Jesus.This is why we are strong enough to bear the hurt of losing them and remain comforted in Jesus.
Praying with you all.You are a blessing to me and my marriage.
Just tuning in to some reading that itn’t work related or quick shot devotional material for the first time in several weeks. Work and life have been challenging the last several months and seems to keep building. Anyway, I am sorry to hear about the death of your father. I found that the death of my absent mother, while empty at first, brought a new layer of issues…and healing, though it took awhile – or a least a while before I was willing to deal with. I’ll be praying for you in the weeks ahead.
Thank you, Amanda! I think I will receive another level of healing now, too. Thanks for your kind words!
Sheila,
I am sorry for your loss. I lost my father on Wednesday of this week also. Like you, I didn’t have a great relationship with him and actually went about 18 years without speaking. When he went into the hospital, my stepmother and step-sister encouraged me to come visit them. We live in Montana and they live in California. So despite the awkwardness, I traveled to see him. I am now glad that I did go see him as I would always have had regrets.
Oh, Heather, that’s great that you made the trek and you could be there! I guess we’re in a pretty similar boat. It is hard when you don’t have that great relationship, but at least you know you did the right thing.