Do you have a marriage mission statement–or a family mission statement?
We’re all part of one body, but we’re all different parts. And so our marriages will be uniquely different! Have you ever thought about that? What is unique about your marriage? What values do you and your husband hold dear? What are your goals?
I’ve read some awesome posts about it recently, and been challenged to think again about my goals.
But I don’t have time to write a major post today, because MY MOM AND I ARE HITTING THE ROAD! We’re making the 11 hour drive to the Chicago suburbs today to go the Stitches knitting conference (yes, there is such a thing as a knitting conference). We’ll be there until Sunday, and I am so excited! I’m excited to spend so much time one on one with my mom. I’m excited to get away from the computer and enjoy some downtime. I’m excited to knit!
Mom and I at the Toronto Knitters’ Frolic in April 2015!
We do love to knit everywhere!
Mom and I knitting at the airport before our cruise last summer!
And so I thought about these two things–marriage mission statements and me loving knitting.
And I thought of something kind of fun!
I’m going to challenge all of you to write a marriage mission statement. And then I’m going to do a draw where one of you will win a scarf I’ve knit!
Here’s my scarf:
Here’s the scarf you can win!
And here’s how you can win!
I want you all to craft either a marriage mission statement, a set of goals, or a set of family rules. I’m a big believer in being deliberate about things, because I believe that when we think about things and set goals, we’re more likely to grow in our walk with God and in our relationships.
But I don’t care how you do that–whatever works for you!
So the rules are going to be easy.
I’ve got three different ways of thinking of mission statements. Lauren from Sombremesa Stories has a great post on how to think through your values and turn them into a work of art.
Tara from Feels Like Home has an awesome post on how to figure out what your family rules are–and then a tutorial for how to create a beautiful wall hanging depicting them:
Dr. Ann has guest posted on Michael Hyatt’s site to talk about how to think through your main goals as a wife.
And then my friend Lisa and her husband Kelly created “family rules” that they have hung on their wall.
I don’t care which version you choose–whether it’s pithy, like sombremesa sisters; goal oriented, like Dr. Ann; or a list of values, like Lisa or Tara. I just encourage you to think it through and be deliberate!
And then leave a comment to tell me what your mission statement or values are. Even leave a link to a picture of it on Pinterest or on your own blog or somewhere online, if you can, just to inspire us (but that’s not necessary if you don’t have an image!).
When my mom and I get back from Chicago on Monday, I’ll do a draw from the comments and someone will win the scarf.
I’d love to hear your marriage mission statements! And I hope you love my knitting!
Let’s hear it in the comments! What’s your marriage mission statement or family rules? Even if they’re works in progress, share it with us and we can help flesh them out!
One day I want to write a novel about my grandmother’s life. I don’t know all it will say, but I know the two opening sentences:
Anyone who knew my grandmother knew that she knit. But you didn’t really know my grandmother until you know why she knit.
What do you think?
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Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 29 years and happily married for 24! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 7 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.
In our 14 year marriage, and also this applies to our children since we have had them, what we have always said is to:
Love Jesus first and most, and each other second.
This has served us well. We always try to have the mindset of loving Jesus first and above all else, and then loving each other like He loves us flows into each other. It also impacts how we relate and serve those outside our family.
No, we don’t. Partly because hubby doesn’t really subscribe to christianese things like vision statements, mission statements, or spiritual leader of the house.
Partly, because I think we have lived too long in survival mode. He is in a rut of working, sleeping, and screen time. I am in the rut filling in the gaps and just trying to keep our noses above water.
I’m kinda going to merge your two options into a family mission statement. Since having kids, it’s been easy to let the devil think we are divided instead of one. This applies in our marriage and our relationship with our kids too. It’s very concise and something we frequently say after an accomplishment (like cleaning up the toy room) or when we’re about to embark on an adeventure (be it a long shopping trip to Target or a long drive to grandma’s). We will exclaim, “Go Team Akers!” I know it’s cheesy but it helps put us back into the mindset that it’s not parents vs kids or mom vs dad, but we are all together in this. My kids, being 5 and 2 love shouting it and feeling like a team.
Four days after my wife and I were married, we wrote a family mission statement. 13 and half years (and six kids) later, we still repeat our family mission statement with our kids on family night each week:
“The mission of the Purcell family is to help God bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. Our family is ordained of God. We are fully dedicated disciples of Jesus Christ. First and foremost is our Heavenly Father, and only second to that is our family. By following the words of the prophets, and with God’s help, we are united in returning home to our Heavenly Father as an eternal family!”
You get to go to Stitches? I confess to some envy. One day… one day I will go too.
Meanwhile, I will knit “back to school” socks for an 8yo friend who hates new teachers (on principle – it’s the transition she struggles with).
I want to read the book about your grandmother. I think I understand her. 🙂
How exciting – I wish you safe travels and lots of laughter with your mom! (So — why DID you grandmother knit? Now I’m intrigued.)
About a Marriage Mission — Rob and I have chosen three Values. (It’s easy to remember 3 words). Loyalty. Optimism. Discovery. They’re rank-ordered Values that define what makes us unique. (Every couple will have different Values.)
We use them when we’re making decisions, and we often say that they’re like “rumble strips” to keep us focused in life.
Here’s how we use them: If there’s a decision or opportunity we first look at Loyalty – is this decision/opportunity/idea/action going to support our Loyalty to God, to each other and those we love? If we can say “yes”… then we check it out using the next Value – Optimism. If the decision/opportunity/idea/action is something that supports an Optimistic or Positive direction for our life, then we move onto Discovery. Rob and I love to learn and grow, so if the decision/opportunity/idea/action will provide a chance to learn and grow then our answer is a great big, “YES”!
Using Values in this way takes longer to explain than it does to actually do… 🙂
Lori–to tell you WHY my grandmother knit I’d have to write a whole novel. 🙂 I have a theory on that.
I absolutely love that idea of three values! That’s great!
Wow mine is no where as official or Christ focused as you all’s, and it’s not for our family.
My hubby is very self reliant- a product of growing up the youngest of 3 with a single mom. He’s good at taking care of himself. So early on I started saying this and sometimes I still have to remind him
“you take care of me, and I take care of you”
It applies to all aspects of our marriage even in the bedroom😉 and helps us resist the natural tendency of selfishness.
Where did your friend Lisa have her family rules done? I really like the look and content of that one! Great idea!
Hi Sheila. I am proud to introduce you to my wife Grace. We put together a Marriage Mission statement over the past 2 nights. It is happening Sheila. I will let her type it in.
Phil n Grace Messinger will faithfully love and care for each other, be foremost compassionate friends, making each other laugh, grow in faith, and focus time & energy in our relationship with Jesus.
My husband and I came up with our family mission statement in January of 2000. We had been married about 5 years and only had one child then. Our church had just announced their mission statement and we were inspired to create one for our family. We keep it hanging by our front door.
“Our family mission statement is to bring all of our family members to a personal, salvation relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, while creating a peaceful, nurturing home environment that promotes healthy family relationships and develops secure young adults. We will strive to have a lifestyle centered around prayer, praise and worship, and to be examples of God’s love to each other and to the world.”
The scarf is lovely, Shelia. I hope you and your mom enjoyed the conference!
Grace and I worked on this for 2 nights and I want to share this with you again. It is real Sheila.
Phil & Grace will faithfully love amd care for each other, be foremost true compasionate freinds, making each other laugh, growing in faith, focusing time and energy in our relationship with Jesus
It is so real Sheila. Jesus died for my sins. You cant imagine the joy if you have never had him speak to you. Maybe you havent been tickled by god like have. Maybe you havent cried for Jesus. It is so real Shiela. I will stand by my story.
Let me wdit my comment as I made an error. God