You can plan a sexy evening with your husband–naturally!
We’re in the middle of our Sizzling Summer Sex Series, where we talk about how to make sex sizzle in your marriage. And this week we’ve been focusing on our bodies–how to nourish them, understand them, and treat them well so that sex is much easier and much more fun!
And I thought today we can cap that part of the series off by looking at what we can do naturally to help us feel sexier.
Sexual desire is tied to several things: our hormones (which we can do very little about); our endorphins, or the chemicals in our brain that make us feel happy or excited; and our blood circulation (especially circulation DOWN THERE. ☺ ).
While we can’t affect our hormones too much in the short term (though we can help boost them properly by eating well), we can certainly naturally stimulate endorphins and circulation. With a little planning, you can have an awesome, sexy night with your husband.
Begin with Laughter
Laughter nourishes the soul–and boosts your libido! So curl up with your husband and watch a funny movie. Choose some funny conversation starters to make you chuckle. Even choose a 2-player board game, like Jenga, that will reduce stress and boost your mood.
Get the Blood Flowing
Next to laughter, there’s no better natural aphrodisiac than exercise. It releases toxins, stimulates endorphins, and gets your blood circulating all at the same time! Go for an after dinner bike ride with your husband. Go for a jog. Or even pull out that old Wii and play some active games on it! That will combine laughter and exercise all at the same time.
Add the Right Scents
The scents of the right essential oils often define “sexy” to us. Men, especially, tend to be partial to patchouli or sandalwood, while women often like to add a little spearmint to lighten the scent. We often enjoy jasmine and clary sage, too. So put a few drops of one or two oils in a diffuser and wait for the aroma to put you in that “come hither” mood!
Early in the day you can start by priming your libido with one of the more feminine scents, like clary sage. Then, when you’re snuggling with your husband, add those that pack a punch, like patchouli.
Here’s a nice aphrodisiac blend:
- 2 drops sandalwood
- 2 drops patchouli
- 2 drops ylang ylang
Nibble Something Luxurious
Certain foods, like dark chocolate, have long been known to be aphrodisiacs. Keep some on hand just for date nights–and don’t tell the kids where the stash is.
Add Some Spice!
Spicy things stimulate circulation, which also stimulates libido! In fact, many manufacturers now combine spicy with dark chocolate to give you a complete natural aphrodisiac. Chili pepper dark chocolate is hard to resist, and tastes much better than it sounds. Trust me.
Or for your main course at dinnertime, enjoy some spicy Indian food, as long as that sits well with your stomach. Nothing helps you lose desire faster than feeling queasy.
Warming foods also do a great job of setting the mood. A spice like ginger is both warming and circulation-enhancing, and it’s a great one to add to your main course. Cinnamon also is very warming, so on a fall night, simmer some cinnamon-sprinkled apple cider in your slow cooker and sip it throughout the evening. Or choose some herbal teas that contain cinnamon or ginger, and enjoy them throughout the evening.
Luxuriate in a Massage
Massage releases tension, but also releases toxins and endorphins.
Here’s another truth: for women, sex largely begins in the brain. While men tend to be aroused before they start making love, for women, getting in the mood tends to be a little more complicated. When our brains are focusing on other things, our bodies have a hard time following.
Starting with a massage helps you to relax and empty your head of all those stray thoughts. You can concentrate on your body again (which you’ve likely been ignoring all day as you ran around, getting things done). And that helps us to realize, “Hey! My body actually does feel good!”
And remember–you can get access to a FREE massage mini-course from MELT: Massage for Couples, right here!
Have You Heard of the Boost Your Libido Course?
If your libido is sub-zero, I want to help you BOOST it–and get to the point where you actually WANT sex!
In this 10-module video course, I walk you step-by-step through understanding what libido is, identifying your roadblocks to libido, and figuring out how to turn yourself ON again! And we look at how the brain, body, and emotions all contribute to our desire (or lack of it). It’s super fun, and right from the beginning you’ll experience HOPE that you really can anticipate and yearn for sex in your marriage!
Enjoy Each Other
Now that you’ve got everything ready, have fun together! And see how much more fun it can be when you’ve planned the night, put some effort in, and have looked forward to what’s coming!
Your Sizzling Challenge!
Pick a night this week where you can plan a sexy evening–with natural aphrodisiacs.
Get the conversation starters or board game ready, get some massage oil and some essential oils, pick up some dark chocolate, and plan a main course with ginger! Let your husband in on what you’re doing, too!
Let me know in the comments: What things naturally get you “in the mood?” Let’s talk!
Sex is supposed to be stupendous--physically, emotionally, AND spiritually. If it's not, get The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex--and find out what you've been missing.