There’s nothing wrong with wanting a little help sometimes!
Living as a Northern Gal, never-ending winter isn’t just a source of annoyance. It’s a source of extreme itchiness. I get such dry skin! Every morning, after my shower, I take a few minutes to enjoy the luscious feeling of rubbing moisturizer onto my legs and my torso.
If my hubby wants to make me melt, all he has to do is pull the massage oil out of the drawer and start kneading my back. The oil, combined with the pressure, makes the tension float away–and makes me far more interested in other kinds of slippery pursuits!
Plenty of times I turn to “moisture” to give me a hand at relaxing and feeling wonderful.
And yet somehow we women feel like it would be cheating to turn to some helpful lubricants when it comes to the bedroom. Dry skin? Sure. Sore muscles? But of course! Yet we feel we should be able to defeat hormonal fluctuations or menopause or stress, all of which can cause “dryness” sexually, on our own.
Today, for our Sizzling Summer Sex Series, I want to sound the freedom beacon to all you women:
It’s okay if you need some extra lube!
In fact, I want to tell you 5 reasons why lubrication in the bedroom can be just what you need to have more fun. And thank you to Femallay for sponsoring this post, too!
1. Women Naturally Fluctuate in the Amount of Lubrication Our Bodies Produce
Certain times of the month we’ll find that we get “wet” fairly easily–often right in the middle of our cycle (and for some women right after their periods). But other times of the month, especially right before the next period, our bodies don’t tend to cooperate as much. (If you want to understand how this cycle works, check out this post on our hormone levels throughout the month).
What’s our reaction?
We often berate ourselves, thinking, “why am I not in the mood tonight?” Or we start getting mad at our husbands: “He’s just not doing it right!”
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with either of you!
2. Lubrication Helps You Respond More Easily When Your Body Changes
Sure, we all have hormonal fluctuations during the month. But that’s nothing compared to what happens when menopause approaches. Nursing, pregnancy, menopause, or even perimenopause can often cause a woman to have trouble with lubrication. Just like once you hit 40 most of us start to need reading glasses, so once you hit menopause most of us have a harder time with natural lubrication. You could be perfectly “turned on”–mentally, emotionally, even physically–but you’re just not lubricated.
It’s actually one of the first signs of menopause for many women. And if you need reading glasses to read, it’s okay to need lubrication to really enjoy making love!
3. Lubrication Helps Us Get Aroused More Easily
My husband Keith can massage me without using massage oil, and it still feels fine. But when he uses oil it feels heavenly! It’s the difference between pressure and friction. Pressure is wonderful, but friction can be annoying.
Sexually, we women tend to work the same way. We like the pressure; but friction doesn’t feel as good. Lubrication helps us just feel the pressure, and not the friction. And when that happens, it’s often easier to get even more aroused.
Let’s not forget that for men, arousal tends to precede making love, whereas for women, arousal tends to come once you start. Most of us aren’t “turned on” when we start kissing and touching. It happens only later. So lubrication can give us that boost we need!
4. Lubrication Helps You Be More Adventurous in Bed
Let’s face it–quickies are fun! Sometimes you want to put those kids in front of a video and head upstairs and play beat the clock. But that’s easier if you don’t need a ton of foreplay to be ready.
And sometimes we just want to try something that’s a tad adventurous, but may not be as comfortable as what you usually do. Lubrication can help new positions feel much better.
5. Commercial Lubricants Have Gotten Much Better!
Remember the days of KY jelly, when everything felt like thick vaseline? Lubrication was more like a visit to the gynecologist than something fun.
But today’s lubes are much less vaseline-like. And they don’t need to be purchased at an “adult” shop at all! I want to thank Femallay for being one of my blog’s huge supporters. They have an awesome website where you can order things in the privacy of your own home, and they carry natural feminine products that help you with menstruation, with intimacy, and so much more!
And they offer a unique way to stay lubricated. Most lubricants are rubbed over the guy, but these suppositories are inserted into the vagina. Why is that neat? It means that you don’t have to take time out during your “fun” for him to grab a tube. Instead, you can insert it first, it melts fast, and then you’re ready to go! In fact, you can even insert it and then surprise him with something!
The suppositories come in either a plain scent free, flavor free version, or they have twelve yummy ones that work perfectly for oral sex or other such pursuits.
Just because you want some help doesn’t mean it’s not “natural”!
I think we feel that we’re “supposed” to respond a certain way, and if our bodies don’t, there’s something wrong with us. And isn’t everything supposed to be natural and easy?
But these suppositories are natural–made with natural butters and oils, and containing Vitamin E which doesn’t just lubricate, it also moisturizes. You insert them with a simple applicator, and then they just melt on their own.
But besides that, lubrication often just lets you have more fun because you can be more spontaneous and still really enjoy it! Often we picture lubrication as necessary when you’re just starting to have sex, and then when menopause comes. But it can be a great addition to the bedroom in between then, too.
Now, today’s Sizzling Summer Sex Challenge is a racy one!
Your Sizzling Challenge!
Get some lubricant and do something spontaneous!
Apply it beforehand and then surprise your husband with something hot and heavy–a quickie, a new position, even something where you’re barely undressed! Give both of you a great memory of how adventurous you can be!
Sex is supposed to be stupendous--physically, emotionally, AND spiritually. If it's not, get The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex--and find out what you've been missing.