What if the way that we’re teaching purity is really hurting kids?

I’m just back from my walking tour of Ireland with my husband, and it was AMAZING! I’m hoping to do a post soon with some of our pictures and tell you about how neat (and relatively inexpensive) a walking tour can be.

But I have so much running through my mind right now that happened while we were gone, and I just have to share it with you this week.

First up is today’s post: while I was gone, my daughter Katie made a video about the way youth groups often teach purity. And it went CRAZY. She’s saying something really, really important, and I just encourage every parent and everyone who works with youth to please listen. We need to hear young voices on this one:

But while the video was great, I’m actually more taken by the reaction. Right now it has about 31,000 views, but it also has 5,500 likes and over 1,000 comments–a ratio really unheard of on YouTube. This is resonating with young people. Please, we need to listen about how we frame such an important thing.

So click through to the video and just peruse the comments. It matters. (And don’t forget to subscribe to her channel there, too!)

I’ve written about the harm that we can do when we emphasize virginity over chastity before, too. (Chastity means just acting in obedience to God. Anyone can do that now, no matter their past.) You can see some of those posts here:

I completely believe that waiting for marriage for sex is so important. But that doesn’t mean that I agree with the way that we often portray this to kids.

In everything, let’s just emphasize knowing Jesus and following Jesus. That should be our focus, not trying to shame a girl’s body or make her feel as if she’s irredeemable.

This week I want to look more at ways that our culture can harm us, and talk about what we can do about it. I’ve been binge watching some shows and I read a book while I was away about the Amish, and there are some desperately important things there we need to talk about.

In everything, let’s just emphasize knowing Jesus and following Jesus.

But for today, I just want you all to know: if you had sex before you were married, that does not make your marriage any less valuable in God’s sight, and you are not a failure. Your purity is not based on what you did with your body, but on what Jesus did with His. And let’s make sure we’re teaching our kids to run after Jesus, not run after rules.

Let me know in the comments: What do you think? Have you ever heard (or used) the chocolate bar analogy or the glass of water analogy that Katie used? Are these effective or harmful? Let’s chat!

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