So apparently I am a big ole’ sinner.
David’s likely right (he’s the one who called me a sinner).
Oh, and my daughter has a boyfriend (he’s her boyfriend).
The younger daughter, not that married one, that is (Phew!).
I’ll let Katie fill you in on the boyfriend (and the sin). If you don’t want to watch the whole thing, the relevant part starts around 3:47.
I have officially repented and apologized to both of my girls for their misguided and deprived childhood.
No peanut butter, no nuts, not a lot of cheese on pizza and pasta (I just don’t like lots of cheese! Some, maybe. Lots? Too greasy). No pie (if it’s not chocolate it’s not a dessert. What’s the point?) All of those things. But they made it through anyway!
I thought I’d just write a stream of consciousness thing today anyway since we’re in our RV driving home (halfway from Texas to Ottawa right now!). I can’t be too profound at the moment.
And really, this development with Katie is HUGE in our family. But I haven’t been able to talk about it until she decided to go public.
I have so much I’d like to say, but I really can’t because it’s their story to tell, and maybe one day I’ll be able to talk more about what it’s like having daughters who are dating. But it’s funny how this relationship is so different from Rebecca’s.
Rebecca met her (now) husband Connor in her first year away at university. And they got serious pretty quickly. It was strange for us, because we homeschooled the girls, and I was super involved in the youth program they were in (I was the cool parent, despite the peanut butter), and so I always knew everybody they knew. And I had my own relationship with a lot of their friends. I’d talk to them and mentor them even aside from the girls’ friendships with them.
So when Connor came into our lives we didn’t know what to do. We’d never had to get to know someone before that our daughter already knew so well. And we weren’t quite sure how to do that. But we muddled our way through, and we’re all one big happy family now! (while we were on the cruise this summer we hammed it up with the photographers).
And we know how to be silly together!
We’ve made a point of trying to do more family vacations together so we all do get a chance to get comfortable with each other and laugh together, and we’re honestly at that point now. We can all talk to Connor without Rebecca being part of it, because we have our own relationship with him.
And now there’s Katie and David. As you can likely tell from the video, Katie and David go way back. David was actually Rebecca’s friend in high school; there was a group of them who were super close, and so David’s been in our lives forever. He even used to call me and Keith Mom and Dad because we would mentor him and just generally be nice to him!
So David, Connor and Becca are all the same age, and it’s kind of nice because when David visits Katie in Ottawa he can stay with Becca and Connor. When they started dating, Becca phoned me and said, “I’m just so glad that I never had a crush on David in high school! We were always together but I always thought of him like a brother!” I’m sure that’s a big relief all round.
But it’s also a different dynamic because we know so much about David that it’s hard not to interfere. With Rebecca, I just had to take her word for everything that she said. With Katie, there’s so much history. That’s not to say that I doubt the relationship whatsoever (I don’t); it just makes it harder not to try to micromanage anything or express opinions.
When Rebecca would say something about her relationship, we’d just nod and smile because we didn’t really KNOW anything else. But with Katie we all know EVERYTHING. So it makes stuff seem much more serious much more quickly (and that applies double for Becca who really knows David well!).
One of the really super wonderful things, though, is that my daughter isn’t lonely anymore. It’s been hard to watch both of the girls go through heartbreaks and loneliness. God used those times in their lives, and He definitely brought them closer to Him, and helped them figure out what their aim in life really was. But it’s still tough when you know your kid is sad. So I’m glad she’s not sad anymore.
(PS: another thing about David: We know his family really well. So it’s kind of funny for his mom and me to talk about all this stuff!)
I find that so much of my emotional energy and prayer life for the last, oh, maybe 10 years, has been about the girls and their future husbands and about boy trouble. When they were sad, I was just sad with them and for them. It’s hard as a mom! So it’s weird to be in this different place now where you’re not really wondering, “will it be him?”, but more praying just for everyone to grow closer to God and hear His voice more and more in their lives.
I think I like it!
Any of you walk through your kids dating? How was it? Or did your parents make any big mistakes when you were dating? Let’s talk in the comments!