Teenage suicide should never be romanticized.
There is a lot of buzz that Netflix’s new series 13 Reasons Why does just that.
I disagree. I watched it over the last week, and I have rarely seen a show that so captures the complexities and grittiness of teenage life, and does so while portraying absolute truth. Instead of glorifying teenage suicide, it shows how it is a waste, and how utterly preventable it usually is.
I don’t believe everyone should watch the show. Many teens are just too young to handle it. Young people who are unstable emotionally should likely steer clear. This is definitely a “parental advisory recommended” show. I certainly skipped the actual suicide scene (I can only take so much). But here’s what I believe when it comes to film and TV shows: biblical world view matters.
And what is a biblical world view when it comes to media? It’s a show that portrays the world as it is, with a moral framework that is in line with God’s view. It doesn’t mean that Jesus is necessarily preached, and it certainly doesn’t mean that the characters are perfect or even believe in God. It simply portrays truth, with grace and love winning, and evil and pettiness losing.
And 13 Reasons Why does that, in spades.
I’ve written before about how I feel about biblical world view and movies after I was criticized for writing a post on how much I liked the movie The King’s Speech, since The King’s Speech had profanity in it. I understand that some people want to stay away from films containing questionable material. But I think, in so doing, we may be missing some great opportunities to understand the world teens inhabit, and to open up conversations with them.
In October, my daughter Rebecca’s book Why I Didn’t Rebel will be out, and Thomas Nelson (her publisher) thinks it will be one of their big books in the fall. One of her main points is that if you want to raise kids to follow God, you need an open and authentic relationship with them. If parents don’t understand what’s going on in teen’s lives, that’s so much harder to get.
Look, this show has a LOT of swearing. Way too much for my taste. The kids all drink. There’s definitely teenage sexual activity going on, including same-sex activity (although they don’t glorify it). There are drugs and tarot cards and assault. But, according to my own girls, that is simply what happens–even in Christian high schools (some of the biggest parties with alcohol in our town were with Christian high school kids). And the underlying message in the miniseries is quite profound–and it offers up great opportunities for discussion.
So today I want to share with you 10 important lessons from 13 Reasons Why–and give you some discussion questions you can use if you watch it with your teens.
It’s going to be a bit of a different post, and if you have no interest in the series, I hope you’ll forgive me. But I think it’s an important enough phenomenon among high schoolers at the moment that it’s worth talking about and trying to steer the conversation in a helpful direction.
But first, a synopsis:
13 Reasons Why centers on Hannah Baker, a 17-year-old girl who commits suicide. Before she does, though, she records 13 cassette tapes explaining 13 reasons why she kills herself–which boil down to 13 individuals and what they did to her. One of those individuals is Clay, the focus of the series as he tries to come to terms with what caused Hannah’s death. He’s a broken hearted, lost boy who was secretly in love with Hannah. And as each of those 13 individuals comes to grips with their roles in Hannah’s death, we learn so much about relationships and grace.
The show works because it isn’t one-dimensional. It’s not like Hannah was the typical bullied girl, and everyone else was completely at fault. Hannah sabotaged herself. Hannah misjudged other people’s motives. Hannah missed opportunities to connect with people. And other people chose to do stupid things for often very understandable reasons (and some just plain bad reasons).
It’s just a mess of mistakes that, unless we understand the lessons behind it, too many teenagers and adults will make. So I want to share what I took away from the series, and then provide you with a downloadable list of discussion starters you can use with your older teens if they watch the show.
13 Reasons Why‘s Lessons for Parents
1. Love Cannot Overcome Lack of Time
With very few exceptions, every single one of the adults in 13 Reasons Why truly loved the kids and wanted the best for them. They were just completely clueless about what was going on in their kids’ lives.
Clay’s parents tried to talk to him, and even implemented “family breakfasts” since they never seemed to all be home at dinner time. Jessica’s parents did the “family dinners”, but still didn’t know what was happening with her. And Alex’s parents worked opposite shifts so they were never home, though Alex’s father made great meals and gave him good pep talks.
All of the parents spent a lot of time at work, and these kids spent the majority of their time on their own, with friends, or in their rooms. Eating was the only thing everybody did together. There were no family activities. There was no history of sharing things. So when things started to go wrong and parents started to panic and try to get their kids to open up, they hit a brick wall.
The lesson? You may love your kids a ton, but they won’t open up unless they have a pre-existing authentic, safe relationship with you, and that can only be built with tons of time spent together–not just eating (though that’s important). These kids had no experience with family bonding or fun with their parents, so their parents were not who they naturally turned to when things got rough.
2. High School is a Toxic Environment
Everyone is bullied–even many of the people doing the bullying. Everyone is scared. And kids are simply cruel.
Personally, I’m glad my girls didn’t go to high school (we homeschooled all the way through). They still had an active social life, and they still had friends. But they were out of that environment, and if you have the ability to give kids a different experience, I highly recommend it.
High school forces kids to hang out with the same people every day, even after those kids have humiliated you or hurt you. There’s no escape. As adults, we’d never put up with that. But kids are trapped. And they’re all going through raging hormones and changes at the same time, so it’s a toxic mess.
And please–steer clear of high school parties. Any party without adult supervision (or with minimal adult supervision) will end up being an alcohol infused mess. There is NEVER a reason for a teen to go to a high school party like that. Ever. Stand your ground.
One other big message: be very careful of forcing a high school kid to start at a new school. Hannah was a new student, and that led to many of her problems. Clay was an outcast, too, but he had grown up in the community and he had managed to build an identity for himself and others left him alone. As the new kid on the block, Hannah didn’t have that luxury. My assistant Tammy had to move for her husband’s work in her daughter’s last year of high school. She has repeatedly said that if she could do it again, she would have stayed behind for a year rather than making her daughter switch schools in senior year.
3. Kids Are Exposed to More than We Think
We may want to rail against teenage alcohol use and protect our kids from finding out about drugs or porn or sex, but even if our kids steer clear themselves, many, many of their friends will not, even in Christian schools. And so our kids need to know both how to say no and how to help friends who are in too deep. And they won’t know this unless we can talk to them about it and acknowledge that this stuff goes on.
There’s another aspect to this–in the whole series, kids were trying to act like adults when they weren’t. Clay beats himself up for not telling Hannah that he loved her. But why didn’t he? Because he was just a kid, and he had no idea how to handle these feelings. It took him ages to even get up the courage to kiss her. That’s how it is when you’re 17.
Our kids have adult bodies. They are in adult situations. But they are supremely ill-equipped to handle them because it’s all new. Most kids are not naive. They’re dealing with real things that we deal with all the time. The only difference is that they have no experience in doing so.
One more thing–Zach let Hannah down by pulling a petty prank on her. And yet if you follow Zack throughout the show, you see a very decent guy who was in over his head. He tried to help Hannah after Marcus insulted her. He truly liked Hannah and asked her out, but in her pain Hannah couldn’t see Zach’s heart. And Zach truly didn’t like the jocks he was with on the basketball team. Yet Zack was simply not mature enough to handle Hannah’s pain. And later, when both Justin and Alex reached out to Zack (because he was the only together one in the group), Zack pulled away, to disastrous consequences.
Zach wasn’t bad. He was simply young. And he was put in an adult situation because no adults were stepping up. Of all the people depicted, he will likely be haunted the most in future years. And yet he should never have been in that situation in the first place, because he was simply too young to deal with everyone else’s pain. Many of our kids are in the same situation. They’re carrying their friends’ pain and they can’t handle it. We need to do all we can to make their burdens lighter.
4. Brokenness Causes More Brokenness
One of the most tragic figures in this series is Justin. Hannah is livid at him–he’s the only one who is featured on two tapes. And yet, to me, he is the most sympathetic.
We learn that the reason he protected Bryce, a rapist, is because Justin is in danger from mother’s boyfriends at home, and rich Bryce provides a place for him to crash.
What would have happened if Jessica’s responsible, loving dad had noticed that his daughter’s boyfriend seemed lost? But he just didn’t see, because kids who are unsafe at home aren’t going to announce it to the world.
Justin wasn’t a bad kid. He was a sad and desperate kid. And in our neighbourhoods, in our churches, in the contacts lists on our kids’ phones are lots of desperate kids.
So get to know your kids’ friends. Have them over and let them hang out. Talk to them like they’re real people and get to know what’s going on in their hearts. Many of them desperately need us.
And one more thing: If your child starts acting out, don’t assume it’s rebellion. Jessica starts drinking heavily, using drugs, and skipping school. From the outside, it looks like she’s making really bad decisions. But really she’s reeling from a rape she refuses to acknowledge. If your child suddenly starts doing things they’ve never done before, don’t just clamp down. Brokenness begets brokenness, and you may find something you didn’t know was there.
5. When a Kid Opens Up a Little, Don’t Close the Door
The person who was most responsible for Hannah’s death wasn’t her rapist, her bullies, or her friends who didn’t do enough. It was a well-meaning school counsellor who got everything wrong.
This is likely the biggest lesson that EVERYONE needs to take from this series, so please hear me on this:
When someone is seriously desperate, and they open up, they will not spill everything.
They’ll test you by spilling just a bit and seeing how you react.
So if someone opens the window a little bit on the blackness they’re feeling, treat it as if it is extremely serious. Do not take it at face value.
Encourage them. Invite more revelations. Just listen. And maybe, just maybe, if they see that you’re safe, they’ll tell you what’s actually going on.
13 Reasons Why‘s Lessons for Teens
6. Look to the Heart, and Offer Grace
Zach was a decent, kind-hearted guy. But when Hannah turned him down because she was hurt, Zach couldn’t see past her hurt, and he ended up retaliating, to disastrous consequences. Yet both of them were simply good kids who had been spurned.
Alex was a decent, kind-hearted guy, but when he was afraid he was losing his girlfriend, he did something really stupid and made a list of who is hot and who is not. Instead of seeing that Alex just made a mistake, Jessica abandoned him for a dangerous crowd.
Clay was the supreme decent, kind-hearted guy, but when Hannah pushed him away, he felt lost and rejected and couldn’t handle her anymore, so he pushed her away, too. He couldn’t see past her pain.
Over and over again in the series, kids who were decent kids, who could have had good friendships, hurt each other and then they broke relationship.
The whole time you’re watching this show you want to yell at Jessica and Zach and Hannah and Clay and Alex and say, “just stop! He’s a nice person! She’s a great girl! Don’t abandon each other!”
When people make real mistakes that show bad character (like Marcus standing up Hannah), you should walk away. But when people are just hurting–push forward. Offer grace. Don’t abandon good friendships because you’re hurt. Life could be so much better if we just stuck with each other through pain.
7. Things Won’t Get Better Until You Talk to Adults
The whole series is like watching a huge train wreck. Everyone is making such bad decisions and trying to cover everything up, and the more they do that, the worse things get.
Yet the last episode shows hope, because finally, finally, kids start to open up to adults.
Jessica tells her dad about the rape. Tony gives the tapes to Hannah’s parents. Clay’s mom finds out what’s going on. Courtney tells her dad her secret. And as adults get invited to the inner circle, we start to finally feel as if some healing can take place and some justice can be done.
The kids who let parents and adults in–Jessica, Courtney, Tony, Sherri, even Clay–they look like they’re going to be okay. The people who don’t–Justin, Tyler, Zach, and especially Alex–they look like they won’t be okay. The message? When you’re dealing with something huge, it can seem like the whole world rests on your shoulders. But it’s not supposed to. Sometimes we all need help. When you start to ask for it, things can start to get better.
8. Owning Up to Your Responsibility Matters. And Adults Don’t Always Understand
We all make mistakes. And in trying to cover up those mistakes or make excuses for ourselves we only make everything worse.
The only way to grow into people that we actually like is to admit our errors and come to terms with them. Everyone thought that Clay was overreacting and taking too much guilt on himself over what happened to Hannah, but he could not come to forgive himself until he acknowledged that he had let her down. Until you can face the reality of what you did, how can you come to peace with it?
It’s very much like our relationship with God. We can’t find true peace and forgiveness until we confess. Confession opens the door to healing.
And yet adults themselves don’t always understand this. Mr. Porter couldn’t come to terms with his role in Hannah’s death, and his inability to confess is a marked contrast to the road that Sherri eventually travels. Sherri confesses something big, no matter the consequences. Mr. Porter doesn’t, and it likely turns out worse for him than it does for Sherri.
9. Secrets are Toxic
When we keep secrets, we don’t just hurt others. We hurt ourselves.
Sherri’s secret was eating her up inside. Courtney’s secret caused her to become a cold-hearted person who identified with bullies, just to keep it. Jessica’s secret caused self-destructive behaviour. Justin’s secret caused such incredible guilt.
And, of course, all the secrets Hannah kept cost her her life. If she had let just one person in on what she was really feeling, all of this could have been avoided.
Secrets haunt you. And the only way to diminish the power they have over you is to bring them out in the open.
10. Everyone Else is Hurting, Too
Hannah thought she was alone. Hannah felt empty. Hannah felt like nobody understood.
Yet Tyler was hurting, too. Justin was certainly hurting. Alex was tortured. Sky was cutting herself. And Clay was lost.
When you’re hurting, and when everyone around you is keeping secrets to keep up appearances, it can feel like you’re all alone. And that makes your pain worse.
But please know this: everyone is hurting, even if it’s in different ways. And if we can open up, share our secrets, and let our guard down, then we can start to carry each other’s pain. And the burden will not seem so heavy.
How would this story have been different if all of the 13 Reasons Why characters could have seen Jesus in the hallway?
I think He would have sat down and just listened while they all cried. He would have looked beyond the bravado that the athletes had. He would have seen the pain Justin and Jessica were trying to mask. He would have helped Clay find his courage. He would have helped Hannah keep perspective, and have given her the hug she needed.
He wouldn’t have judged. He wouldn’t have told them to shape up or demand that they be perfect. He would have listened, even in the midst of the messiness.
If this show does nothing else, I hope that it calls people to listen to each other and love each other, and to be Jesus to the many, many teenagers who feel desperate. There are far too many Hannahs and Clays and Zachs and Justins and Jessicas in this world. And they need us. Can we open our eyes and be there for them, or will we give them another reason why?
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Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 29 years and happily married for 24! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 7 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.
I finished watching the series yesterday. And I believe every parent of a teen and people who work with teenagers needs to watch this series.
I know! It’s so powerful. For some reason I really was most affected by Zach, even though he’s a more minor character. He just was a good guy so in over his head and so young. And I think he really represents a lot of our teenagers.
Tomorrow is my son’s 13th birthday. He officially becomes a teenager. Finishing his 7th grade year before his final year at the middle school. So far, he has attended the same school district since Kindergarten. We’ve no plans as of right now to leave the district.
My husband’s nephew moved his last child right before sophomore year to another district in the lower part of Ohio, leaving behind 2 GREAT jobs so they could be closer to their older daughters. Their boy has thrived at his new school, graduates at the end of May and will be attending a private college near Philly on a golf scholarship. He moved the same year that Hannah and Jessica arrived at Liberty in 13 Reasons….maybe he had an easier time because he’s a boy?
I think boys have an easier time making friends as kids than girls do. My son has always had friends and it’s changed from year to year. The boys he was close to in 5th and 6th grade aren’t the same ones he’s close to now. I make a point to ask him who he sits with at lunch. Now, he’s sitting with boys he played basketball with…but I’m not too sure about them because I know those boys can be trouble as the one boy has gotten a few after school detentions during basketball season which made him ineligible to play on game day. The other boy, has an absentee father and a mother with an extensive drug abuse/arrest history! YIKES!
Maybe it’s because this is a fictional drama about a teen suicide and they needed to build tension.
I would not say boys had it easier in the show. One of the factors people seem to be missing is that Hannah had a hard time realizing that others went through things as well, especially if they were guys. You watch some of the young male characters being shamed, harassed, stalked/followed, pressured into doing things and threatened as you hear Hannah say boys never experience any of things and would not understand. It’s a common immature feminist narrative and one that helped keep her isolated.
I don’t think the topics in this show are anything new for teens. Most schools have suicide prevention education, people talk about bullying non stop, with the rise of highly misguided feminism again we’ve heard about nothing but rape culture and rape for year and teens are always being warned about growing up in the digital age. Don’t get me wrong. This is a good show and open up conversations but I think many parents are having a harder time with the content than teens, and I do not get this over reaction and urging to sit on top of them while they watch and discuss they feel.
these are never ending topics we discuss daily. One thing that is not discussed is Boys committing the most suicide. Boys dropping out of school. Male enrollment in colleges dropping… all while people rant on about boys having it easier and “toxic masculinity”.
Great commentary, Polly. Agree with everything you said.
I don’t think we need to “sit on top of our teens” to watch it with them, but I do think if they’re watching it, it would be good to watch it too (even if we don’t watch at the same time) and talk about it, in the same way we should talk about everything with them. That’s really the key to a good relationship with your teens–to simply talk about everything and anything. But I agree that parents often think this is a huge deal, where to kids, it’s just everyday life.
I love what Polly wrote here, and the fact that it came from a woman:
“One thing that is not discussed is Boys committing the most suicide. Boys dropping out of school. Male enrollment in colleges dropping… all while people rant on about boys having it easier and “toxic masculinity”.”
Same, Sheila! I really felt for Zach!
Sheila, I so appreciated this article. On May 22, the confirmation director at our church and I (I’m the minister of congregational life), along with an adolescent therapist are hosting an evening for parents and teens about this show. Is it OK if we provide copies of your blog to the folks who come?
Sheila’s away, but I’m her daughter and can say YES of course share it! She’d love that!
Thank you so much!!!
I had this big long reply typed out and your site ate it…lol
I went to a public high school. I didn’t hang out with the crowd who drank/did drugs. I was raised that doing those things were wrong and I’d get into trouble for it and potentially ruin my life if I did.
The Biggest person who failed Hannah was Mr Porter. He was the ONE PERSON she reached out to who should’ve been most attuned to Hannah’s cry for help and he failed her. She even gave him another chance to help when she waited outside his office after their meeting and he failed her yet again.
For me, the most poignant scene of the whole series was when Clay was leaving Mr Porter’s office and tells him “It has to get better, the way we treat each other and look out for one another. It has to get better somehow”
I know, that whole Mr. Porter thing was so important. And I just think we all need to remember that when someone is desperate, they’ll test us. They won’t spill everything. And Mr. Porter majorly failed that test.
PS: I hate it when the computer eats big long comments! 🙁
My daughter lost a close friend to suicide as a junior in high school. There is so much I could say on the topic, but the main point that I want to make is that after the suicide, the school district brought in extra counsellors the next day to talk to the students. Their rooms sat empty while the students sought refuge in the classrooms of their favorite teachers. They were the trusted adults they felt safe with, where they could cry, talk, or just sit silently. Since then, the deceased girl’s mother has worked to get mandatory training in recognizing the signs of suicide, depression, and anxiety in our state for all middle and high school personnel. I think it’s going to be implemented this coming school year.
Our community is still healing, and this is one of the reasons that my knee-jerk reaction when I heard about this series, was to “protect” my 16 year old from watching it. But when I approached the subject with her, she said, “mom, I’ve already watched it. And it’s so real. It shows all the stuff that people don’t want to talk about and I felt like I got a lot out of it”
Good for her for being honest. And shame on me for not having a clue what she was watching on Netflix.
Thank you for your post. I know some positive conversations are going to come from it.
Oh, I’m glad, Jodi! And it does sound like that school district handled it well. And I think you’re right–kids will only talk to adults they feel safe with. We can’t assume that they’ll open up to any adult unless there is that pre-existing relationship.
I hope you and your daughter do have good talks!
Thank you for that nice summary. I will not watch this series, as it apparently has big amounts of sexual content, and therefore is probably not so appropriate for a husband, but I was very interested in the topics and lessons it explores.
Hi Dean,
There actually isn’t anything remotely erotic in the series–it is teenagers, after all, and I think the show was really trying not to be sexually explicit. The most explicit scene is the rape scene. There are girls in bras at times, but it isn’t as bad as pretty much any other show on TV. There’s a lesbian kissing scene that you can just fast forward through that’s rather brief, but that’s really it. There’s lots of making out, and it’s obvious that the kids are sexually active, but it’s definitely not like an HBO show or anything (and that really wouldn’t have been appropriate since the actors are young and the audience is supposed to be young).
Oh, I see. That’s a pleasant surprise! I had assumed / gotten the impression that this series, albeit rich in lessons and messages, was following the “standard,” HBO-esque recipes. Thanks!
Yeah, I think they really wanted to make a series that a 14-year-old could watch. There’s no nudity (unless you count bras). What’s much more jarring is all the swearing (and there’s a LOT of swearing).
No, there’s nothing really explicit. The only nudity is seeing the bare buttocks of one of the male actors. As Sheila said, the most graphic sex scenes are the rape scenes in the series. Lotsa kissing and the lesbian kissing scene is brief.
I think the message this show is giving is very important. Especially for those of us who are parents of teens or work with teens. I have made some decisions on my own parenting as a result of watching this series. Please don’t let the sex scenes deter you.
OK. I do (very rarely, hope to find more time for it in the future) some volunteer work, and at times I’ve been taken aback / worried / a bit traumatized by the tensions within and between them.
The 700 Club Interactive is discussing 13 Reasons Why RIGHT now on my TV.
My 24 year old cousin committed suicide in 1996. Not due to bullying but over a love lost.
We just had a young youth at our local high school who took his own life a few weeks ago. I know the school brought in extra counselors for the students…just like they did when the disabled young lady who was JUST voted Homecoming Queen got deathly ill and ended up passing away the day after the Homecoming dance in 2015.
**** I Just want to add the US National Suicide Hotline Number**** if anyone reading this post is thinking of taking their life, please call 1-800-273-8255!!
Thanks for sharing that number, Kelly!
And I’m sorry about your cousin. I had a close friend whose brother committed suicide at 17 and never left a note. It was horrible. About 15 years later his former coach was arrested for molestation, but there’s no way of knowing if that played a role.
I know two men (dads of friends of my girls) who have committed suicide in the last few years. It just leaves such a trail of heartbreak behind.
When I was in middle school (junior high), social health and wellness videos were often shown to us impressionable, hormonal, bonkers pre-teens. The boys usually just brushed it off as lame, but for some reason the girls would start dramatic fads.
When it was about anorexia and the dangers of it, a bunch of girls became anorexic. When it was about suicide, some girls talked about doing it, or wrote dramatic diary entries, but one girl actually attempted it. She had no desire to actually kill herself, but it brought attention and middle school fame to her.
Boyfriends and being sexually careful? Suddenly, the girls were hooking up.
No matter the negative light, the girls used it to gain attention and 12 year old street cred.
So I can see why parents are afraid this series is glorifying it.
I don’t necessarily think that this is a series which is appropriate for middle schoolers to watch. At least not without a parent watching along with them. High schoolers? Definitely! Which is why I watched it for myself. So, if the topic of this show does come up with my son(he’s in 7th grade), we can discuss it. I’m willing to bet some of his peers at school have seen it. He’s mainly interested in sports and Xbox but I’m not naive either.
The last 2 years in middle school, my own Sonya 7th grader who turns 13 tomorrow, they’ve had a health/sex ed class where a speaker from a local organization comes in to discuss STD’s, Sex, Birth Control, etc with the students. The last two years my son has brought home an ATM (Abstinence Till Marriage) Card that offers discounts at a few local businesses. He says he had to sign a contract to get that card. I’ve got no problem with it. But I know other parents who did.
We didn’t have social media when we were teenagers. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter and the internet didn’t exist which makes it SO much easier for our kids to be bullied and to bully others. At the same time, I feel the topics that are addressed in this show are important for parents of teens or those who work with teens to understand from a teenaged point of view. And why parents of teens should watch it. It might just save a life.
Yes, I can see that, too. And I’d say definitely NO to middle schoolers watching it. Even 14-year-olds, really.
And even older than that, I really think it’s best watched with a parent, or at least have you watch sort of simultaneously so you can talk about it afterwards. And by no means does EVERYBODY have to watch it. But a lot of teens are watching it, and I think we need to be part of that discussion, because if we’re not, then I think kids could end up acting out because they can’t handle it.
I haven’t watched it, and frankly don’t want to. Maybe you’re right, and it’s a good show for teens and parents to watch, but I don’t think we need even more darkness and heartache in our kids lives. Before anyone say’s I’m too protective in my kids entertainment choices, I’m really not. We did watch and discuss many things in “The Kings Speech”, I grew up watching “Patton” with my parents, and for a school assignment even memorized and preformed one of his speeches (have you read his speeches? Lots of good there with a WHOLE lot of profanity).
I believe movies and television is a VERY powerful parenting tool and I use it often. However I don’t want to drown them in such a dark story line. I don’t want my younger daughter (14) to fight the depression that such an account tends to waken in her. I also don’t want my older daughter (15) who already has a very caustic wit, and is very bright, to see that harsh side as something that should always be let lose, despite how it affects others.
I am the mom that welcomes my kids friends into our home. I take them to church with us if they want to come, but I never force them. I have them over for pizza and movies, I include them on our outings, help them with homework, and I encourage discussions in my house Discussions about school, current events, politics, ect… I often just listen. After a time, they often want to hear my opinion. When sharing my opinion, I always share my reason’s why.
I try to make my home a safe place for all of them. I don’t allow disrespect, but we have a lot of fun. We tell jokes, pull pranks, and laugh as well as cry together. I work hard on these relationships, because many of them don’t have an adult working hard on their relationships. I keep the conversation open with the parents too. For instance, if the kids or I issue an invitation to the kids, we make sure the parents are messaged too. I make sure they know all the details about where our outings will be, and the timing. I also make sure the parents know that I will always inform them of any activities we do. That is not something I will skip. I agree that the adults really need to step it up in the relationship department. These kids are my kids friends. Anything that happens to them affects my kids too. So I try to be supportive.
Sounds like you’re a great mom!! I agree that if your 14 yr old is already suffering from depression, then no, she probably shouldn’t watch it. Being involved and having a good relationship with your teenagers is very important and you’re doing wonderfully!
As I mentioned above, a 17 yr old teenager, a young man who was a member of our Volunteer Fire Dept, and I believe also already was or on his way to becoming an Eagle Scout recently took his own life. Our little community (especially his high school classmates) was absolutely devastated by this loss. As far as I know, nobody saw it coming, much like the 13 in this show didn’t see Hannah’s suicide coming. Not even her parents.
Sadly though, suicides do happen and it’s the second leading cause of death amongst teenager in the US. So I don’t think it’s a topic we should avoid because it’s a dark one. Just my opinion.
That’s great, Toni! You should like a really fun mom. I was always so proud that my kids’ friends actually wanted to talk with me.
And I definitely don’t think every kid should watch it. Really not. I’d say there are three groups who could really benefit from watching it with a parent: kids who are really struggling who need to see the futility of suicide (which they will see if they watch it with an adult and discuss it with an adult; if they watch it on their own, they may miss the main message); kids whose friends are really struggling (because even if our kids are doing fine, their friends may not be, and they get sucked into the drama even if they don’t want to. That’s what happened with my girls); and kids who are going to watch it anyway. Many of us may not want our kids to watch it, but this is a seriously hot series for teens right now and many of them are watching it, if we’re not monitoring their media consumption. And if a teen is watching it, then I think parents need to be part of that discussion.
But if your teens have no interest in it, and they have a safe outlet to talk to with you, and their friends can safely talk to you and share their problems–then it’s likely not necessary at all!
I have not watched the show , since I do not have Netflix , but I did read the book. From what I have heard about the show, the book is so much better . I feel that it should be required reading for all high school students .
I really should read the book then, because I thought the series was so well done! I think the benefit of the book is that the suicide scene and the rape scenes wouldn’t be so graphic and jarring.
I think I’m gonna read the book too
Hi Sheila, I can’t seem to get through to the discussion questions. Its says “Your merge fields were invalid”.
Thanks for letting me know! I have no idea why. I’ll just sign you up for them myself and then try to fix it!
I totally disagree. I feel like I’m thinking twice about continuing to read your blogs based off of your commentary about this. I’m a little heartbroken. Hmm.
I’m sorry, J.B., but what is it that you disagree with exactly? Were any of my 10 points bad (because I thought they were actually pretty good lessons to talk to our kids about!) What I’m trying to say is this: parents, we need to keep talking to our kids. And kids are watching this. So let’s turn it into a teaching opportunity with stuff that is seriously important.
Agree totally Sheila! I watched it because my FB friends(adults without teenagers in the house)were watching it. One is a fellow RN friend and she concurs that parents of teens/people who work with teens need to watch this because of the seriousness of this topic.
I think Hannah’s parents were so preoccupied with their financial situation that they were oblivious to Hannah’s mental state. But to them, Hannah acted like everything was fine.
I totally disagree too, but shows like these are open to interpretation. We will all glean different things from it based on our life experiences. Shelia councels people for a living pretty much, so I think she has a different persective than some of us.
One great thing about Shelia (I really like her very much from what I read) and this blog that I really appreciate, is that disagreement is always handled respectfully. She can take a difference of opinion and I think that proves her character well. It is becoming rare these days to respectfully disagree.
I hope you will reconsider and stay with the blog. I’ve learned a lot from here.
Thanks, Lolo! That’s really sweet. (I don’t always handle disagreement really well; when people are just plain mean I tend to ban them. And I admit I take a little too much pleasure in that. )
We seem to have some really abusive people in Christian circles that have somehow found this blog. Some of those comments belong in the mouths of the Taliban or ISIS by their very nature. They deserve to be banned. No one coming here for help should be subject to the same sorts of abusive ideas they are trying to get away from. I’m a complimentarian, not a feminist, and I think we have a responsibility to stand against evil, even more so when people dare to propagate such things, while calling on the name of Christ.
You’ve always been very kind to me when I have disagreed and to the majority of those that have commented here.
I really disliked this show. I think it is actually really dangerous for Youth to see these kinds of things. For once, I would like to see a show about suicide show helpful steps like reaching out, holding yourself accountable for your bad choices, learning to use discretion and caution with who you allow in. Instead, we see bleeding hearts continually put themselves out there, never learning from their burnt fingers and hands, only adding to the list of people that have hurt and betrayed them. I find it unrealistic and really scary that these shows don’t show any resonable boundaries.
I also think it is so sad that this show puts it out there that the way to get back at people that hurt you is to haunt them from the grave. Hannah apparently would have been happy to have had 13 more suicides by making already pretty miserable teenagers even more miserable. Her feelings are not more valid than those of all 13 people she made tapes about. Her troubles were sad, but certainly not worse than Justin who was abused, or Jessica who was raped. But somehow she makes everything about her. This show just fuels the narcissism that is already so bad in my generation (Milleninal). Hannah is not special, she is surronded by people in pain, who act out of that pain, and she gets hurt by those people. She then acts out of pain, kills herself, and makes tapes to put more of a millstone around the necks of others. This show is so disturbing, and I do think it glorifies suicide and is so emo, I could barely get through it.
There is a skit by a comedy duo that I would normally not recommend (they are definitely not Christian) but it really shows the otherside to bullying so if interested, please check out the Key and Peel skit called School Bullying. Again, this has bad langauge and I would not normally even reference it, but I think it is important and I think gets it right in teaching about the way people deal with issues in unhealthy ways.
Lolo–I actually totally agree with your analysis of Hannah. The difference, I think, is that if parents can start the discussion with kids, they can help kids to see that Hannah was totally wrong, and that her suicide was simply a waste. She wasn’t hurting any more than other kids; she just couldn’t handle it as well. And those other people didn’t cause her death; in many cases, she simply misunderstood them (Clay, Zack, Alex, even Jessica). Yes, Hannah blamed others, but in the end, I think the show shows that she was wrong (Clay, for instance, was definitely not to blame, and outside of Mr. Porter and Bryce, no one else really bore big responsibility, either). Tony saying “we all killed Hannah” is really shown as being wrong at the end, I think, when he understands that Clay really wasn’t to blame–which means that maybe Tony wasn’t, either (because he really wasn’t).
I don’t think the show portrays Hannah’s choice as being right. I think what the show depicts is the trail of heartache when people don’t open up and don’t reach out to help others. I definitely don’t think everybody should watch it, but I do think that there are some really good lessons in there.
And whether we like it or not, kids are going through this stuff. So I just think parents NEED to be part of that conversation, in whatever way we find helps most (and each parent can decide that for themselves). But our kids are immersed in a culture which is very self-absorbed, like you said, and unless we can have these discussions, I worry that more kids will get caught up in it.
I agree with you there, I just worry that a bullied 15 year old kid is totally going to miss the point about others and find a hero in Hannah. Our culture really is pushing the idea that society is responsible for your issues, that it is always other people, not you and I think it is alarming. Kids are already hearing that, and then this series I think puts it out there as well (maybe trusting that teens will pick up on nuances)?
There are so many cases when suicide happens where the parents of the child sue the school district, sue other parents, sue, sue, sue, yet never took their kids out of their school of torment, bus rides from hell, sports team initiaions from the Nazi playbook. We have taught for so long that people get in touch with their emotions, that now so many are actually being crippled by them. They have no coping skills, they are walking human forms of razor thin glass. We have trigger warnings left and right, with people thinking they actually have a civil right to not be offended! It is insanity.
Your daughters seem happy and well-adjusted, principled Christians. I can only hope and pray my own kids will turn out that way, and your blog gives great advice on how to build relationships that bond. I really want to balance that fine line where I can establish boundaries for them, but be trusted enough to be confided in when kids make mistakes. We don’t have to repeat the same generation mistakes, but it is hard to now how to do that. Your family gives me hope.
Anyway, you are appreciated and I’m going to have to get your daughters book so she can relate first hand what she thinks yall did right. 🙂
HA HA! Love your last paragraph.
And I totally agree with this:
In fact, Rebecca (oldest daughter, or Thing 1 as I call her) and I were talking about that this very morning. It’s like the “trigger” warnings they put on everything. Now, I realize that some people have gone through HORRIFIC abuse and really can be triggered. But psychology tells us that the best way to get over a real hurt is to confront it, not to avoid it. Avoidance actually reinforces phobia and neuroses. Yet we’re raising these kids to protect them from everything and to blame everybody but them (or us), and it’s really counterproductive and hurting everybody.
I really don’t think teens should watch this show alone (which is why I’m writing this, to help parents talk to their kids about it) because I don’t think kids’ frontal cortexes are necessarily developed enough to always make the right conclusions. But I do think that IF it’s watched with parents, this can be a vehicle to steer conversation in a good direction.
What I’ve found with my girls is that nothing was really taboo to talk about, and we didn’t really have to avoid anything much when they were older teens, as long as we were also engaged in conversation about it. What really works for teens is simply open communication, and the show provides a great warning to very loving parents that they may think they have open communication when they don’t. So just talk to your kids, everybody. That’s really the main thing. Just talk to your kids, and don’t get scared of any topic at all. Be approachable!
I didn’t watch the show. I’m not going to. However, I read the book when I was in high school. I almost killed myself after. I didn’t see her selfishness at the time (and selfishness is what it is). All I could see is that she was in pain and I was in pain (though not for the same reasons). Killing myself seemed like a good way to punish the girls who were bullying me.
I don’t think any teenager should watch or read this. TV and books work differently in teenagers brains. Maybe it brings up good topics to talk about, but is that worth the risk that it could push someone over the edge? Reading that book took me and a lot of my friends to a dark place. It is by the grace of God that nothing bad happened.
The book exposed me to things I didn’t need or want to know about at that time in my life. I don’t have children. I can’t speak as a parent, but should you really be pushing things with sexually explicit material on your teenagers?
I think it really depends on the kid, Emily. And I think it really depends on what the child is going through. For me, my kids’ friends were honestly going through this stuff. So being able to talk to my kids about it was what helped them be able to help their friends. I think there is a lot of darkness happening. What surprised me (I was totally naive) was how much of this was going on at the Christian high school in our town. My kids kept telling me, but I thought they were exaggerating. But I found out afterwards that they really weren’t.
Again, I don’t think kids should watch it or read it by themselves, and I’m so sorry that you had that experience. And I think parents really need to beware of their kids’ emotional state.
But if their kids are in that much emotional turmoil, then I do think that having a vehicle to have some super frank and real conversations is so important. Maybe this series isn’t that vehicle, but I hope they can find SOMETHING. Because often parents think they have good communication when they don’t.
I think we all want to protect our kids, but many of our kids are walking through this whether we want to believe that or not. So I think just having these conversations, in whatever way they can be facilitated, is so important.
As for the sexual content, I don’t know what’s in the book, so I can’t comment on that. But I wouldn’t say this is erotic at all. It’s really more jarring. But I think there can be way more sexual content in other stuff that kids watch–I know they once wanted to show The Notebook at a youth group sleep over and I raised a huge stink because that’s a seriously erotic movie. There may be no nudity, but it’s seriously erotic. And there may be no rape, but that can start feelings in kids that 13 Reasons Why certainly doesn’t! I’m actually more worried about downright erotic stuff than I am with anything like this because erotic feelings are hard to deal with when you’re 16, I think.
Again, I’m so sorry that you were in that much pain as a teen. I just hope that more parents can talk to their teens so we can avoid a lot of this!
I’m not sorry about all I went through. It was really terrible at the time, but it has given me a great platform to be able to help others. It took sometime, but I learned that mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. I have greatly appriciated the support you have shown for people with mental illness.
I do agree with your daughters. These are all things that were going on in high school (and I was in christian school). This is probably a good way for parents to see what is going on. I saw so many parents who loved their kids with their whole heart, but hadn’t a clue about some of the things their kids were up to.
I talked to my husband about this and he made a great point. I read this book at fifteen (I saw it on the summer reading section at the book store and figured it would be okay) and he read it when he was twenty. There is a big difference between 15 and 20. It was like we read two different books.
As far as the sexual content, I didn’t mean it stirred up any feelings. If anything it grossed me out so much I became even more of a prude, as my mom called me. I had great parents, who I could talk to. I wish all children did.
If this is something that parents can watch or read and then talk to their kids, I’ll be all for it. I’m just seeing a lot of teenagers, I know don’t get a lot of supervision, posting about how great it is on Facebook and it scares me.
Yes, Emily, I totally agree! And especially with your last paragraph. Kids ARE watching this. And so I think we need to be part of that conversation.
And I totally get what you’re saying about being a prude, too! So many people on this blog are dealing with that, too. My next course I’m going to do will be a Sexual Shame Recovery Course–for those people who have felt like prudes or have sexual shame for any variety of reasons. And I think we forget how many of those reasons may have to do with media. When we see stuff when we’re 8-12 especially that is just plain gross, it can make sex seem so evil. I read a book when I was 11 that I should never have read about a young guy coming of age and it made me really suspicious of guys’ sex drives for so long! They all just seemed like perverts.
You’re exactly right. Middle schooler are watching it. I point blank asked my son yesterday if he’d heard any buzz about this show at school and he said, yes, he has. The girls seem to be watching it moreso than boys. I hope their parents are aware. I’m friends with the Principal…I wonder if he’s aware that his students are watching this show as his own son is in the same grade as mine. Or the Guidance Counselor. Hmm….
When I was a teen, the equivalent was the book, “Go Ask Alice.” Most of the girls I knew read it, including me. We didn’t discuss it with our parents but we could relate. We felt trapped. High school was like a prison. You had to do your time and hope you could learn how to let it go once you got out. (I didn’t attend public school, either, it was a Christian high school, much better than most.)
Reading “Go Ask Alice” reaffirmed to me that suicide is a waste. I could tell that she was so close to freedom when she took her life. I’m not sorry I read it. I don’t think it would’ve helped my parents, though. They would’ve assumed that it only happens to other people. They sent me to Christian schools so they didn’t have to worry about it.
I do not look back on my high school years with fond memories. (My first year of college was at a Christian institution and that was actually worse.) I threw out my year books, I do not go to the reunions. And I refuse to pretend with my kids. I know what’s out there and I make sure we talk about it.
I haven’t decided if I will watch this series or not but thank you for the review.
Lisa, you sound so much like me! I read all kinds of stuff that really affected me as a teen and I never talked about it. That’s why I tried so hard to talk to my kids.
And I threw out all my yearbooks, too! I don’t think I even have any high school friends on Facebook! I’d rather forget those years. In our town, it seems like the kids who went to the public high schools almost did better than the kids who went to the Christian schools, because too many parents sent their kids to the Christian school to “straighten them out”, when the kids themselves weren’t believers. So it was this almost hypocritical environment where everyone was supposed to believe but few did. The teen years are just plain hard and they’re complicated, and I think we often believe that our kids are emerging unscathed and that “they’re okay”, when really they are hurting. As parents, we need to find ways to enter that conversation.
Sheila, you make great analysis about the characters and what was going on in each of their lives, as well as the failures on the part of the adults. But this series should never have been made in the first place. I live in Washington state, where assisted suicide is legal. I worked on the campaign against this, which unfortunately was unsuccessful. Assisted suicide was legalized in Canada much more recently, and efforts are now underway in order to expand the eligible population. http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/windsor/adam-maier-claytons-father-takes-on-assisted-dying-advocacy-1.4080553
A state of emergency was declared in an Ontario First Nations community due to suicide contagion. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/apr/11/state-of-emergency-declared-over-suicide-epidemic-in-canadas-first-nation-community
Suicide contagion is a well-known fact. Until very recent years, there was a rule among the media and journalists not to give details or dwell on suicides in news stories. (I’m not in the field so I’m unsure if it was an unspoken rule or taught in college). Brittany Maynard was the large-scale change to that journalistic boundary, and this “13 Reasons Why” series jumps even further. http://www.choiceillusion.org/2016/10/brittany-maynards-story-sends-wrong_69.html
Oregon was the first state in the US to legalize assisted suicide, and it has higher overall suicides, and a faster rate of suicide increase, than any other state. Coincidence? I think not. Legalizing suicide, or having tv shows focused on suicide, all increase the risk of suicide contagion.
http://www.oregonlive.com/health/index.ssf/2013/05/report_oregons_suicide_rate_hi.html
Yes, all the things in this series occurs in the daily lives of teens, no matter where they attend school, public or private. But I must raise the question…how many parents are like you and Keith, Sheila, versus how many are not? For you and parents like you, this series can be a tool of understanding and discussion, and that is good. But how many countless other teens – the very ones who are depicted in this show – will see it and the glory given to the protagonist, will see the popularity of the entire series, and believe that suicide is noble and the right path forward? Sheila, please go to the beginning of this blog article and please post suicide hotline information and a message to reach out for help if one is experiencing thoughts of suicide. I appreciate the commenter who gave the info above, but listing it first thing in your post would be better. Secondly, I would caution all parents who are reading this blog of Sheila’s to be aware and open these discussions with your children and their friends. Particularly for you Canadians, as I’ve illustrated above, your teens are being hit from multiple media angles that suicide IS the right answer. It will take all of us saying NO to that message.
Although I totally see what you’re saying, here’s how I’ve seen your argument:
1: There are tons of things right now that are telling kids suicide IS the answer. And that’s horrible (TOTALLY agree).
2: Copycats are a real thing. It’s a real problem, too, and is a huge risk for our kids.
3: 13 Reasons Why could be a great tool to help parents talk to their kids (like you said about parents like mine, I’m Sheila’s daughter)
4: But because not all parents are perfect, the show should have never been made. So no one should watch it.
But here’s why that doesn’t make sense to me:
1: You’re saying that kids are exposed to suicidal messages all the time, but your answer seems to be to NOT use the one tool that’s trying to teach kids how to go to adults, and which can be used to show people why suicide is NOT the answer. Yes, this show has got some risk, but so does just going to school and hearing people tell you you’re worthless. At least this risk is one that leads to great conversation in a controlled environment.
2: You aren’t facing the fact that my mom wrote this for families whose kids ARE ALREADY watching the show. Her perspective is, if your kids are watching this, you’d better darned well watch it with them and talk about these points so that they DON’T have those issues you mentioned above.
Overall, I think you make excellent points but I don’t think the translate well into the real-world. Suicide copycats are a thing, yes, but if you can’t even talk about suicide in a safe controlled setting, when can you talk about it at all? I have lots of friends who struggle severely with depression who loved the show for the reasons that my mom shared above–it shows the needlessness of Hannah’s suicide and where to find hope that things can change.
I’m just not sure that people are giving it enough thought in a real-world context, to be honest. Your points make sense if we could control what kids are seeing. But we can’t. So what then?
Thanks for your thoughtful reply, Rebecca! I should have stated that I haven’t seen the series nor read the book, so in answer to your question 1: does this series teach kids how to go to adults? Obviously the protagonist tried but the counselor failed her. In the end, would you say it is an evident message to viewers that the teens who let adults in on their problems got better, while the teens who maintained silence did not heal? Sheila stated this conclusion in her article, but would your assessment be that this message would be evident to a depressed teen with uninvolved parents who might see this show? Going to school and hearing people say you are worthless is awful but portraying teens on tv committing suicide raises the risk greatly for copycats. I believe this show does more damage than good in the overall population.
You said “At least this risk is one that leads to great conversation in a controlled environment.” The lack of “controlled environment” is the big problem with this series…how many teens are able to speak with an adult about this series versus how many are not? How many will just see the glory and attention given to the protagonist and feel that suicide is the right answer?
2) I am glad that Sheila wrote this article for families whose kids are already watching the show. I just wanted to raise the flag that copycat suicides are very real, and yes, in commenting on this blog, it is likely “preaching to the choir.” I have seen media slip away from the aforementioned avoidance of discussing suicide details to the Brittany Maynard detailed coverage to now featuring a fictional series about suicide (graphically shown) and its aftermath geared toward a teen audience! I assume that the vast majority of Sheila’s readers are committed, involved parents, and I hoped to raise awareness in order that they can be cautious about exposure to this series and any similar ones in the future, and also that perhaps we as Christians might recognize the dangers of series like these and as a group, resist the media vocally on this front. I believe our teens (and other at-risk people) deserve this.
Lastly, I will tell you that my husband is on your side! He felt that the series might begin to remove taboos about talking about suicide. It made for a good discussion for us. Our oldest child is only 7 so we have a whoooooole lot of navigating ahead! I greatly respect Sheila’s parenting advice, and seeing you and your sister and the wonderful parental relationships you have is very inspiring to me. Thank you for your reply!
Admittedly I haven’t seen the show, but I thought this was a really good article about it from a counselor’s perspective.
http://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/raisingboysandgirls-blog/a-counselors-response-to-13-reasons-why
Another good article that sums up what I was trying to say in my comment above.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/05/01/teen-copycat-suicides-are-a-real-phenomenon.html
The one lesson that maybe should be taken with a grain of salt is the one about switching schools. I think instead of saying, ‘Don’t make your kids switch school’, it might be better to ask and listen. I HATED the school I was stuck at. I was part of a class that was notorious (to this day) for giving even the teachers a really hard time, so imagine what went on when teachers weren’t watching. Sometimes, changing schools can be a BLESSING. I’d say, talk to kids, really listen to what they tell you. Too many time parents talk, they even listen, but they don’t take anything seriously that a minor says, b/c, after all, you’re still a kid. You don’t get a say.
That’s actually very true. It depends where your kids are at their old school. Great point.
And the listening is SO key. Absolutely. I think we should simply treat kids as if they’re human. Like we would treat anyone else. Parents often don’t do that.
I love that point–yes, 90% of the time switching may be a bad idea. But I think you’re right–we need to start giving kids and teens a voice. I wonder, if all teens knew they would be heard when they were hurting, how many would continue to keep things from their parents.
I know both of my teens have watched this series, I’ll have to check it out. Thank you for producing the discussion questions – I’m looking forward to giving them a run. I appreciated that in this post you emphasized that kids who go to Christian schools are not exempt from all these things. I think many of us like to believe that Christian school protects them from experiencing these things and it doesn’t – although I think it makes it a little easier to resist some of those temptations and helps them to build their faith during those years. My daughter and I talk about a lot of things and I know she has friends who are struggling with all of this.
So glad you enjoyed it, Suzanne. And I think your last sentence is so key–just because our kids don’t personally struggle with these things does not mean that their friends don’t. They may be in the middle of this environment anyway. And we need to help them navigate it!
Not related to the main subject of 13 Reasons Why (suicide), I don’t understand why a girl (Hannah) would be so upset about a best/worst list. I guess she was upset for the girls in the “worst” column, but I have a feeling she would be upset even if the list was only a best list. Guys would be thrilled if they were on a best list. I think girls are so spoiled.
My wife struggles with suicide and other issues. She was doing much better, and then she watched this series. The producers of the series did everything wrong according to therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, etc. None of the kids ever ask for help. All of them are islands unto themselves in many ways. Showing the suicide scene itself was the absolute dumbest thing that could be done and left my wife struggling with it. I had to be monitoring her constantly after this.
I’m sure it helped some, but the risks outweigh the gains in my opinion. There were much better ways I think to do the series and I warn anyone wanting to watch it that if there are issues of depression and such, do not watch the last episode.
I’m always interested in show that show REAL life…instead of the dazzling life we usually get. My daughter and I are watching My So-Called Life from the 90s. Which is funny because the biggest drama in the first Pilot episode was Angela dying her hair blood red. My daughter looked at me and said, “I guess dying your hair was a really big deal in the 90s.” I had to laugh. So much as changed since then!
Great article. Thank you for your insight. Is there a chance there is a “Printer friendly” version of this article? When I print from the website, some of the article gets cut out because the left side bar is covering it. I am hosting a parent/youth discussion about this tonight at my church and would like to share this with them.
Thank you.
Hey, Christina! If you click on one of the links in the yellow boxes in the post and sign up you can get a printer-friendly PDF version sent to your inbox! 🙂 Love that you’re sharing this–it’s so important to talk about!
Sheila, I’m the father of a 14-yr old daughter who’s entering her freshman year. We just returned to the states after a 3 year tour in Germany. So interesting that I too am a military officer in the Air Force (like Jessica’s dad). I’m just now watching this series with my wife and daughter. Immediately I started searching for a facilitation guide to help us discuss the takeaways from this powerful series. More importantly, I wanted a biblical perspective and I have no doubt the good Lord guided me to your blog. Thank you for sharing this information. I strongly believe our children have to feel psychologically safe if we are able to mold and influence their decision making process. Blessings!