When are you grown up?

All week we’ve talked about aging–midlife crises, eldercare, and more.

But just because we’re physically getting older doesn’t mean we emotionally age.

And the truth is that I didn’t feel like a grown up for a very long time. So today, for my Friday musings, I thought I’d answer that question.

Sheila’s Musings: When Did You Feel Like a Grown Up

When do you feel grown up? Thoughts on what it means to finally feel mature.

It has taken me a long time to feel like I’m actually a grown up.

I thought I’d feel like I was a grown up when I got married, but I didn’t.

I thought I’d feel it when I had kids, but I didn’t.

But sometime in the last decade I have crossed a line. I don’t know where it was, but I am now a grown-up. And I’m trying to figure out how I define it.

I knew I was a grown up with men when I could stop asking, “Does he like me?”, and start asking, “Do I like him?”.

I knew I was a grown up when I could begin to make a recipe without a recipe book and without worrying whether it was how my mother-in-law would make it.

I was a grown up when I stopped worrying what other people thought of my children’s behaviour and just concentrated on being the best mom I could be.

I was a grown up when I started taking better care of myself, like caring what I looked like again and not just hiding the earrings in the drawer because I couldn’t figure out how to wear them when the kids liked to pull on them. When I started prioritizing feeling good in my body, I felt like a grown up.

I was a grown up when I called my mom for her advice, and not her approval.

I was a grown up when I could calmly talk to a salesperson about what their establishment had done that was beyond the pale, instead of letting them walk all over me.

I knew I was a grown up when I could start looking at other people’s kids and at teens and telling them what I honestly thought instead of being intimidated into worrying that I’d be labelled “the mean mom”.

I knew I grew up when the fact that my father didn’t understand me became a cause for pity for him, rather than for angst, anger, or introspection on my behalf.

I was a grown up when I started letting myself dream dreams, instead of living out the dreams of my family members.

I felt like a grown up when I could pray with other women in my church, even older ones, and feel like I could offer some counsel.

I felt like a grown up when I acted like others were my equals, instead of feeling insecure around those who were of higher rank or status than I was. Once I realized that didn’t matter, I knew I had grown up.

I felt like a grown up when I could see someone and have a conversation and not remember until the next day that I was supposed to be mad at them. I guess I don’t carry grudges anymore.

I knew I was a grown up when I could ask people over for dinner and not worry about whether they’d like what I made. I’d just cook what I liked, and figured everybody else would make do.

And I know I’m a grown up now that I can admit my faults to other people rather than trying to pretend to be perfect. I know now that there’s no point in pretending.

And I feel like a grown up now because I’m realizing that this isn’t my life; the next life is my real life. This is only preparation. So I think I can let go of things a lot easier now and not worry so much what other people think.

What about you? Do you feel like a grown up, or do you still struggle with it? What makes you a grown up?

Leave a comment! I’d love to know!

Friday Roundup on To Love, Honor and Vacuum

What’s #1 at To Love, Honor and Vacuum?

In marriage, your spouse is your partner, your confidant, and your best friend.  It is important to keep building that relationship in every aspect — getting to know what they like, what makes them feel good, how your can walk along side them when they struggle.  In this week’s Tops, let’s look at how we can continue building our relationship with our spouse.

What do you do when your husband is going through a midlife crisis? Here are some ways to keep your marriage strong.#1 Post on the Blog:  Help! My Husband’s Having A Midlife Crisis! 
on the Blog Overall: Top 10 Effects Of Porn On Your Brain, Your Marriage, And Your Sex Life 
#1 from Facebook: 10 Ways To Make Sex Feel Great For Your Husband
#1 from Pinterest: An Awesome List Of 79 Hobbies To Do With Your Spouse 

Have a great weekend, everyone!

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