Every Valentine’s Day I post about how to get over Valentine’s Day disappointment.
I’ve talked about what to do when your husband disappoints you, because I know that’s where so many of my readers are at. You want to have a lovely Valentine’s, and you want to feel cherished, but he rarely buys you any gifts or pays you much attention.
And my heart breaks, and I try to say some things that will help.
But as I’ve been reading over those posts, I’ve realized something: they don’t really apply to me.
Maybe, just maybe, they don’t apply to many of you, either.
So this year I want to talk about something else. Now, if you are a wife whose husband never, ever buys you gifts and never, ever spends time with you, those are probably good ones for you to read!
Posts for When Your Husband Disappoints You
But let me talk to those of you today who are not disappointed wives. You may just be THAT wife.
That wife who is content to be romanced every Valentine’s Day by a truly good guy.
That wife who knows chocolate is coming, so she can relax this year.
But at the same time, that wife whose husband tries so hard to woo her, but never really does quite the right thing to turn her crank. And she wishes so much that he would just tweak his efforts that little bit.
That wife who knows her husband is a really, really good dad and who wouldn’t trade him for the world, but who also finds herself taking him for granted because he’s just so safe.
That wife who knows her husband is never going anywhere, and loves the stability in their lives, but sometimes wishes that their routine wasn’t, well, kinda boring.
That wife who truly loves her husband, but who feels just a tad dissatisfied because much of the excitement is gone.
That wife who has it so incredibly good, but she’s still somehow yearning for more.
But especially, that wife who may wish for more–but who doesn’t do anything about it.
Don’t be THAT wife.
If you’re getting a little bored, chances are your husband is, too.
And what I’ve found in my marriage is that sometimes Keith senses there’s something off. Not like we’re about to have a major crisis or anything, but just that we aren’t quite connecting right. But because he’s a guy, he often misdiagnoses the problem, and tries to fix it in the wrong way.
Then I just get more disappointed.
And I’ve learned that’s the wrong response. I’ve learned instead that when I’m feeling too comfortable, or a tad discontent, or just a little bored, I need to take the initiative.
What if, this Valentine’s Day, you jumped in the gap?
If you are married to THAT husband–that husband who is faithful, and good, and a hard worker, even if he isn’t always the most romantic and even if he can be a little clueless–then what about treating him this Valentine’s Day like the amazing guy he is?
Instead of waiting for him to get it totally right so that he can sweep you off your feet, why not sweep him off of his?
Doesn’t he deserve it?
THAT guy is a great guy. And he needs to know it.
No, he’s not perfect. Yes, he messes up. But you wouldn’t trade him for anything. And he deserves to know that.
For too many Valentine’s Days in the past I have been THAT wife, the one who is content to let her husband do the work, because we all know that I’m the one who needs to be romanced.
But a while ago I realized that THAT guy needed me to show him how much I appreciated him. And when I did that, things stopped seeming boring, and ordinary, and not quite right.
It’s time for THAT wife to love THAT guy!
Some quick ideas to sweep him off of his feet:
1. YOU be the one to make the dinner reservations.
2. Get the bedroom ready so after dinner there’s going to be a luxurious massage. But this time you’re the one giving it.
3. Take time to choose an awesome card–or better yet, write one yourself.
4. Write him ten things that you first loved about him, or tell him ten steamy memories that you cherish with him, or the 10 things that you are most thankful for about him. Be specific–tell him specific things that he has done that have been amazing. (Like instead of saying, “you’re so kind”, say, “Last year when Grammie was in the hospital and she was rambling on and on, you were so patient with her and so loving, and it made me tear up watching you with her.” (But find racy things to tell him, too!)
5. Prioritize something that he loves. Buy tickets to a sporting event he’s wanted to go to. Invite him to a movie marathon some night in the future watching some action flicks he loves. Show him that you want to have fun on his terms sometimes!
6. Choose an awesome Valentine’s Day gift for your husband.
7. And, finally, bring passion back to your marriage. My Boost Your Libido course launched last week, and I’m so excited about it (if you’ll pardon the double entendre).
If you’re THAT wife, you probably yearn to feel passion again, but you’re not sure how. You know your husband is great, and you want to want him, but it seems like it’s just not happening.
But it can. I take you step-by-step through how libido works, complete with small changes we can make to the way we think and the way we handle our routines that can make all the difference!
And I’ve put together a way that you can give it to him for Valentine’s Day.
I’m making up some graphics that you can text him, email him, or print out and give to him in his Valentine’s Day Card. I’ve got one ready for the iPhone now, but I’ll have my assistant working on so many different variations all day, so you’ll have plenty to choose from. Here’s one, but you’ll be able to find others right here.
Click here to get graphics to send to your husband to turn Boost Your Libido into a gift! (more coming today!)
(And you can get the full-size, higher res version of that one there, too.)
Are you ready to not be THAT wife tomorrow? For those of us married to truly good guys, let’s make sure they know it. Let’s make sure they feel appreciated and loved. And let’s make sure they feel a little bit chased, too!
Are you guilty of taking your husband a little bit for granted? Let’s talk in the comments!