Is it possible to have a sexy Christmas–even with the rush and the presents and the family?
In fact, to the words “sexy” and “Christmas” even go together?
I was a little hesitant to publish this, because I don’t want to seem sacrilegious. Obviously the purpose of Christmas is to remember Christ’s birth, and to look forward to His coming again. We’re supposed to remember “God with us”.
But maybe it’s because our anniversary is December 21, but I’ve always kind of associated Christmas with fun in marriage, too! And since I’m one who totally believes that hot and holy can go together, and who totally believes that God WANTS us to have fun in our marriages, then I think Christmas is a great time to reignite some of those marriage flames.
After all, you tend to have more time together around this time of year because work schedules fall off. There aren’t as many other commitments after December 20. Things shut down for two weeks. And grandparents are often around to watch the kids! And, besides, for many men, all they want for Christmas really IS you. 🙂
So let’s look at 10 ways you can inject “sexy” into the season!
1. Get some Christmas Lingerie
Every Christmas you can get some new satiny Christmas pyjamas. Or you can buy a Santa outfit that would likely be too cold to wear in the North Pole.
2. Or just buy a sexy Santa hat.
That’s all you really need, anyway! You know, I’m not big on Santa. We never told our kids about Santa because I wanted to keep Christmas all about Jesus. He’s the reason for the season! But maybe BECAUSE we never really associated Santa with any of our actual family Christmas traditions, I can use Santa for something sexy between my husband and me. It really has nothing to do with the kids. It can just be flirty!
3. Buy him some Sexy Christmas Stocking Stuffers
In fact, you could have a “special” stocking that he opens by himself, on Christmas Eve, when the kids aren’t around. Wondering what to put in it? I’ve got all sorts of sexy suggestions!
4. Get a Sexy Christmas Playlist
Lots of Christmas songs are super flirty! Put a playlist together and have fun dancing to some of the songs–or singing the songs AT him.
Tip: Even if you have a whole playlist, choose one particular song and make it VERY memorable for him. While the song is playing, make him VERY happy–if you know what I mean. Then, during the days afterwards, just hum that song periodically–when you’re making dinner, when you’re out shopping, whatever. See the effect it has on him!
5. Go out dancing
With all the Christmas parties and other events going on, many venues will have bands for actual ballroom dancing. Now’s a great time to practice some of those romantic moves you may have learned, even if you’re not that good yet!
6. Give Him the 12 Sexy Nights of Christmas Calendar
If “that time of the month” cooperates, you can always do some variation on the 12 days of Christmas leading up to Christmas. The Dating Divas has an awesome FREE printable you can use to spice up your Christmas!
Just print it out and put the calendar together. Then let him pull out each day’s surprise. And they’re super fun!
7. Give Him the 12 Sexy Days of Christmas Coupons
Here’s another variation–also from the Dating Divas. (Honestly, I was going to make you all some coupons, but they already have them. So why reinvent the wheel?). Super fun coupons you can print out and then put in his briefcase everyday or stick on his pillow in the morning when he’s in the shower so he can THINK about what’s on the menu for tonight!
8. Send the kids to grandma’s house and let Christmas come early for him
Grandparents are often eager to take the kids at Christmastime! And trust me–Christmas is a great season to get away to a hotel for a few nights, because work schedules are often less intense. We’ve had our anniversary on December 21 for the last 25 years (funny how that works; it’s always December 21!). And it really is a nice time of year to get away. The hotels are pretty, and there are often good deals. If you and your husband have really wanted to escape for a romantic night, this may be the time!
9. Play outside in the cold
If you live in a cold area of the world (like I do!), you likely associate Christmas with snow or cold. So take advantage of it! Head outside for a snowball fight, or for a long romantic walk with scarves and hats and thermoses of hot chocolate. Or put a big thermos in the car and drive around and watch the lights (though this won’t do the job quite as well because you won’t be as cold!). Then, when you get home, head either to the fireplace to warm up or go upstairs to the bathtub and have a luxurious, long bath with your hubby as you warm up–in creative ways. 🙂
10. Wrap yourself in a bow
Haven’t we all at times thought of doing this? But how, practically, do you do it?
Here’s my suggestion: buy some really thick satin ribbon. Start at your front and wrap it around your breasts, going to your back. Then cross the ribbon at your back and loop it over your shoulders, meeting in the middle of your breasts. Cut the ribbon and affix it there with lots of tape. Then tape a big bow on the middle where the ribbon meets. Here’s some thick red satin ribbon that will work, and here’s a bow. (There are specially made “lingerie” bows for this, but the pictures that go with the product are such that I really don’t want to link to them. 🙂 )
You can also buy one of those 23″ bows that they put on cars when someone gives a car as a present. This would work pretty well, too! :), though it’s not that soft.
So there you go! Lots of ideas to have a sexy Christmas!
Whichever you choose, I hope you have a ton of fun!
Marriage isn't supposed to be blah!
Sex is supposed to be stupendous--physically, emotionally, AND spiritually. If it's not, get The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex--and find out what you've been missing.
Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 25 years and happily married for 20! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 8 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.
Regarding suggestion number one–how can you get to the point of having enough confidence to wear lingerie after you know your husband has looked at porn? I used to enjoy wearing lingerie but once I found out about the porn, I felt ridiculous trying to wear it. Why would he want to look at me when I look terrible compared to those images? I have had severe self esteem issues since then and I cannot imagine wearing lingerie again.
I’m very sorry.
Has he stopped? Have you had a vulnerable conversation where you told him how you feel and the repercussions of his actions?
It took me a long time but I finally was able to tell my husband that his porn use (even if it was only a few times a year) made me wish I had never been born. Because I thought he was the greatest man in the world. And if even he wasn’t safe, then what was the point?
That was part of the turning point in our marriage (which wasn’t really a single point, more of a series of points).
These are great ideas Sheila! However, for some of us, our spouse has so much stress and fatigue around the holidays, these ideas are not very practical. Out of kindness to her, I will wait until mid January to try to initiate sex. As a side note, I do most of the Christmas shopping, household chores, etc. since she suffers from chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia…this does contribute to our situation) .
I know the challenge of CFS and Fibromyalgia from the perspective of being a wife with it. It wasn’t until I was able get an appointment at Stanford’s CFS clinic that we were able to find root issues and a helpful treatment. My heart aches for you, know that I CV am praying for you too! May you be encouraged by the reward you have in Christ for the way you love your wife.
Being totally weak and in pain doesn’t feel very sexy, but you can make sure she knows that you still find her to be hot stuff, even as you reiterate that you don’t have any “expectations” from her. Even if Christmas time isn’t super “sexy”, it can be romantic! You can still do things like draw her a bath, turn on music, warm her towel, bring in treats, gently caress her and strut your stuff while doing it. Even if you aren’t having sex, why not get a soft, cozier piece of new lingerie? It’s still nice to snuggle up in! You can still turn on a Christmasy love song and sing to her or just hug and kiss her while it plays. In the midst of busyness and sickness my husband is always encouraging me to have a mindset that seeks to live life romantically. This has been a huge blessing to me!
I love the ideas in 12 Sexy Days of Christmas. We don’t have a bathtub that fits two, though, and Mountain Dew, Rolos, and Milk Duds … YUCK! So I’m going with that theme but writing my own. I’m buying black paper and a silver gel pen to write them out.
If you don’t want to spend money on lingerie, you can just use giftwrap and ribbons an bows and let him unwrap you. Or just use ribbons and bows… or just bows.
Another thing is to make a sexy Christmas Wish List of things you want and give it to him. Don’t stick it on the fridge.
I would definately welcome whole heartedly some of this suprices.My wife would realy spice up chrismas for me if she knows this.
These sound like just the kind of ideas I would have come up with, but alas, my husband wouldn’t give me a moments notice. I think I keep my self in great shape in case he decides to leave me and I will have the ability to attract someone else. I’ve learned not to complain because he at least attempts to show interest a couple times a month. Can you say wham bam, are we done yet. How God gave me such a high libido(even with MS for 13 years) and paired me with someone who could take it or leave it, I’ll never know. Ok, enough feeling sorry for myself. Merry Christmas to everyone and may your new year be filled with God’s love and closeness with your spouse.