Married couples need to have some fun together! And one of the best ways to do that is to find hobbies to do as a couple.
This week at To Love, Honor and Vacuum we’re talking about how to emotionally connect. Yesterday we looked at how to reconnect with your husband if you feel like your marriage has gotten emotionally distant. But no matter where you are in your marriage, you need some hobbies!
A hobby is simply an activity or pursuit that you do together.
And hobbies can bring couples close because of two communication principles:
- It is often easier to communicate side by side, when you’re doing something, than it is to try to communicate face to face.
- When we spend more time together with shared activities (like hobbies!), then we build up goodwill, which makes it easier to tackle some of the bigger problems in marriage.
We all need shared activities, because that builds shared memories. You feel more like a team. You start chatting again (and the more you talk about little things, the easier it is to talk about big things!). And you laugh. Whenever you laugh together, walls come down. Tension dissipates. And you feel close.
Often those petty things that bug you about each other seem to disappear!
Besides, it’s just plain fun to share hobbies as couples.
It’s fun to spend time away from a screen. It’s fun to build a memory or be productive or experience something new. And it’s fun to learn together! Here’s the neat thing about pursuing hobbies as a married couple, too: you don’t each have to love it to the same extent. The goal is not the hobby itself. The goal is spending time together and having those opportunities to laugh and chat.
My husband and I go birdwatching. I enjoy it. It gets me outdoors; we get some exercise hiking; I learn more about photography.
But Keith will trek 2 miles through brush to sit still at dawn in the hopes that it might be a king rail. He will stand still at the base of a tree for 10 minutes to verify whether that was a white throated sparrow or a white crowned sparrow. He is WAY more into it than I am.
But we still go birdwatching together, because I’m in it for the memories, not just for the birds. And when he wants to do something intense with counting birds, he goes without me.
I’m going to share a whole bunch of ideas for hobbies you can pursue together. Take this post as more of a brainstorming session. Maybe something I’ll mention will twig something in your brain and you’ll find an entirely different hobby to share with your husband! But what I’d recommend is this:
Finding a Hobby to Do as a Couple
- Look through this list and identify 3 hobbies you’d like to start with your husband.
- Have your husband look through the list and identify 3 hobbies he’d like to start.
- Exchange lists and choose one on the other person’s list that you’d enjoy, too.
- Choose one to start first!
A Comprehensive List of Hobbies for Couples
Download this list to your phone or computer right now!
Then you can talk it over with your spouse together.
Outdoorsy Hobbies for Couples
- Jogging/Training for Marathon
- Joining a co-ed sports league: basketball, baseball, soccer, etc.
- Target practice
- Rock climbing (on real rocks)
- Metal detecting
- Foraging (for wild mushrooms or other edibles)
Sporty Indoor Hobbies for Couples
- Working out/weightlifting
- Yoga for couples
- Rock climbing (at an indoor club)
- Ballroom dancing
- Irish dancing
- Square Dancing/Line Dancing
- Zumba classes
Events to Attend Together
- NASCAR races
- Sporting events, especially more minor league local ones
- Plays, dance performances, or comedians
- Music performances: symphonies, bands, worship groups
- Special museum or art gallery exhibits
- Film festivals or film clubs
Games Hobbies for Couples
- Chess league
- Board game club (even start your own)!
- Euchre club (host your own euchre parties)
- Bridge club
- Strategy video game (my husband play just one game of Crusader Kings and it lasts for several months!)
Educational Hobbies for Couples
- Touring art galleries and nearby historical sites
- Learning local history and becoming tour guides
- Tracing your family tree
- Planning an educational trip, like a rainforest trip to learn about nature or a European trip to trace some World War II battles. Do research together beforehand.
- Touring wineries
Domestic Hobbies for Couples to do Together
- Cooking (cook something gourmet once or twice a week together)
- Homesteading (where you try to become self-sufficient in some food products)
- Home improvement/painting
Income Producing Hobbies for Couples
- Refinishing furniture
- Painting furniture
- Building furniture
- Yard sale/flea marketing and find items to refinish or repurpose
- Starting an etsy or ebay business
- Starting a blog on a topic you both enjoy
Things to Start Collecting as a Couple
- Art by a certain artist
- Local art
- Stamps or coins
- Sea glass/seashells/driftwood
- Old books, magazines, or comic books
- Memorabilia from a certain period/cultural trend/historical event
Then attend auctions, visit flea markets, spend time searching online together!
Classes to Take Together
- Cooking, including specific cuisines
- Computer Software
- Financial Planning
- Natural Health/Herbs
Places to Volunteer Together
- At church: in worship, youth, building upkeep, finances, anything
- At a local arts organization–a local theatre, a local dance troupe, a local symphony, a museum, an art gallery
- At a youth organization–Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Big Brothers or Big Sisters, a local school
- At a nursing home/old age home
- At a hospital doing visitation
- At a food bank or other outreach centre
- At a refugee welcome centre
So there’s my list–what would you add to it?
Remember–Download this list RIGHT NOW to your computer or phone so you have it handy to talk to your spouse about!
Of course, some things feel like they should be on the list, but they’re not technically hobbies. Going out to the local gelato shop, for instance, is awfully fun! So is hanging around a fun local bookstore and having a coffee.
Whatever you choose, though, just find something that you can do at least on a weekly basis. When the kids are little, it’s likely easier to try something you can do at home, like taking some online classes together or learning something new or something domestic. Or try something outdoorsy where the kids can come along, like hiking or searching for sea glass. And as they get older, it will be easier for you to find new hobbies to do with your husband, too!
So let me know–any hobbies you’d add? I’ll keep the list updated!