Yesterday I was talking about how we often misunderstand our libidos and think that attraction to our husbands should look a certain way.

And sometimes that gets us into trouble!

Last night I was speaking at First Alliance Church in Erie, Pennsylvania, giving my Girl Talk. It was our first stop on our fall tour that’s taking us to Michigan, Iowa and Kansas (and then we’re vacationing in Arizona for a while!). In the winter we’ll be in the southwest (and we’re still booking, if your church may be interested! Just email my assistant and she’ll get you info).

And one of the things I shared with the women last night is something that I want to share with you this morning. When we don’t understand how our libido works, we often miss out on the chance to really enjoy our husbands because we think we’re not in the mood, when it honestly isn’t that hard to GET in the mood!

One of my closest blog buddies is J from Hot, Holy and Humorous (who has a book out with that same name now!). Last week I had a guest post on her blog about libido. Here’s a taste:

Have you ever noticed that movies and TV shows make women’s sex drives look just like men’s?

Here’s what happens, pretty much every time: the couple’s together, and they start to pant. So they fall into each other’s arms and they begin to kiss. Then the clothes come off. And then they end up in bed.

They pant, they kiss, they take off their clothes, and they end up in bed.

Pant. Kiss. Clothes. Bed.

Every time.

If this is what you see, over and over, you may begin to think that’s natural.

So there you are, at home with your husband, and you’re waiting to pant.

And nothing happens.

So you figure, “I guess I’m just not in the mood”, and you return to browsing Pinterest or you go and make another cup of tea.

But what if that whole portrayal of women’s and men’s sex drives is wrong?

Read the rest of the post here. 

If you’re the one with the higher sex drive, though, I know that’s a different story. I have a series here for women with husbands with no libido. And I’m hoping to write more on that soon, too! I know it’s really challenging, and I’m not trying to leave you out. It’s just that we all have different issues in our marriages.

Speaking of things that are posted elsewhere…

Katie has a few new videos up that I haven’t shared yet. Here’s one of her latest on how young people don’t know what a date is–and it’s really confusing. I think she’s raising an interesting point here. Have we so discouraged kids from “dating” that we’ve added a layer of complexity to relationships that wasn’t there before?

And now I’m hitting the road again! We have six hours of driving today and then we’re ending up in Clinton, Michigan for an event on Wednesday (just click on “Events” in the menu bar to see all the ones coming up!).

Want to See Me Live?

Two easy ways. First, sign up for my newsletters. The emails are all free. And then you’ll be notified if I’m ever within 150 miles of you!

Second, ask me to speak at your church! It’s an event that seriously can pay for itself, and it’s super easy to host because all you need to do is get the word out and prepare some coffee and snacks. This year we’re concentrating on western United States (though we’ll be all over Canada), but next year we’re back in the east. We’re also planning on Ireland in the spring, so if there are any Irish churches that may be interested, I’d love to join you!

Gotta run and jump in the RV. I’ll post pics on Instagram soon! We’re looking forward to heading into the UP of Michigan this weekend, too. I think it’ll be gorgeous.

Let me know in the comments: What’s the biggest surprise about libido that you found in your marriage? Or we can talk about Katie’s video–have we lost the art of dating?

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