How do you hear God’s voice? When you so desperately want to listen to God, why does God seem to so rarely speak?
I’ve been thinking a lot about those questions lately, and I thought today I’d just jot down some of my thoughts. They may be a little disjointed; I’m still working this out. But I know it’s a frustration many of us share, and I thought we could talk about it.
When I’m talking about hearing God’s voice, too, I’m talking about hearing God tell you very specific things about your situation–things that can’t just be found in Scripture. Are you supposed to move to another state? Are you supposed to have another child–or not have another child? Are you supposed to marry this particular person? In Scripture God gives us principles, but not specifics. He leaves the specifics for us to wrestle through. But often we’d prefer the wrestling to end because we’d like to hear God say something specific.
For most of us, that “specific” message is a rarity; it’s not an everyday thing.
The Bible doesn’t tell us how to hear God’s voice as much as it tells us how NOT to hear God’s voice
I wish there were passages that would tell us something like, “if you need to make a decision and you want God to tell you what to do, all you have to do is X, Y, and Z!”
That would be wonderful. But instead there are more passages about when God WON’T answer prayer–when we ignore justice and ignore the poor (Isaiah 1:15); when we’re proud in prayer, assuming we’re right (Luke 18:9-14); when we’re not really sincere and don’t give God our best (Malachi 1:7-9); when we don’t treat our spouse well (1 Peter 3:7)–there are more, but basically when we’re deliberately living against how God wants us to live. When we won’t forgive others, God says, He does the same to us. By the measure we use, God will use to us.
That’s a stern warning. If we want to hear from God, then, we really do need to get our hearts right.
But let’s take even another step back: Is it good theology to think that there’s something special that we can do to “make” God reveal His plans?
I think we have this backwards. We think that we should be able to do something that will make God speak to us–as if God is waiting to reveal all of His plans to us if we will just do the right dance. But isn’t that making God into Aladdin, where we rub the lamp and then He delivers for us?
If God speaks, it’s because God wants to speak–not because we make Him.
So does that mean that we can never hear God speak?
No, I don’t think so. But it does mean this:
If we want to hear God’s voice, we need to give God opportunities to speak
One thing I’ve found in the last year is that I tend to hear more “nudgings” and “confirmations” when I take time specifically to ask God questions and give Him a chance to reply. When I journal questions that I’m having, and then read relevant books and read my devotionals and the Scripture for that day, it’s amazing how often I feel those nudges or even specific words that keep recurring–verses that I’m praying over someone, for instance, I’ll see 20 times in the week after I started praying for them, whereas it was a verse that’s hardly mentioned normally.
But on the days when I don’t take that time to journal and to pray and to read, I very rarely hear anything, because for me, confirmation usually comes from those moments.
When God asked Gideon to lead an army against the Midianites, Gideon put out his famous fleece, asking God, “if you want me to lead this army, then tomorrow morning, let the fleece be wet with dew and the ground around it by dry.” The next day, it was just like Gideon had asked. But what if that was a fluke? (Don’t we second guess ourselves all the time? Was that really God? Isn’t it presumptuous of me to assume that?). So he put out the fleece again and asked for the opposite. He got it.
Now, I don’t think that the principle should be that we never walk forward in obedience without massive physical confirmation. What’s interesting about Gideon’s story is that he was asking for a sign to confirm something that God had actually told him to do. Why do you need confirmation when God speaks? Because we’re not sure it’s God. You’re not asking God, “did you really want me to do this?” What you’re really asking God is, “Did I really hear you?”
Personally, I think putting out a “fleece” (whatever that may look like) is perfectly reasonable after you hear something wild from God. But I don’t think putting out a “fleece” for every decision we make will work, because if God didn’t speak, He has nothing to confirm.
Which brings me to this:
If God really wants you to do a specific thing, He’ll tell you.
Often when we have to make a decision we don’t want the pressure. We’d rather be able to say, “God told me to do this.” But what if God is honestly giving you a choice? What if He’s saying, “I trust you, walk forward, let’s see what you can do.” If God wants you absolutely to do one thing over another, He will tell you. If He doesn’t, then maybe it’s because He really is leaving it up to you.
And I think that’s why the “fleece” thing for every decision doesn’t work. If God is leaving it up to us, then He’s leaving it up to us. And we need to walk forward.
After all, isn’t wrestling an important part of faith? Maybe walking forward despite the silence is worth something. Maybe trying to work out what is the right thing to do, even if God is silent, is better than twisting ourselves in knots trying to get God to speak.
But what if you believe God did speak? How do you live with doubt?
Often God prophesies something and then is silent. He told Abraham that Abraham would have a son–and then nothing happened for 25 years (other than Abraham taking matters into his own hands in the interim). He prophesied through the prophets about Judah and Israel’s captivity and return.
More often than not, God’s specific words are followed by years of silence.
When we read the Bible stories about how the prophets or the patriarchs doubted in the meantime, we often interpret that to mean that they doubted God. I’m not sure that’s really true. I wonder, instead, if they doubted their own ability to hear God. You can totally believe in God and yet second guess yourself all the time. Did I really hear that? Was I right that that’s what God was saying?
And doubting that you can hear God is almost scarier, because if you believed that you heard God, but you were wrong–then how do you hear God? Is God then unknowable?
And don’t we all want to know that we serve a God who does speak, and whose voice can be discerned? Because if we can’t hear God, and if we can’t discern His voice correctly, then God is no longer personal. And that’s almost scarier than giving up on the thought that there is a God at all. An impersonal God, or one who plays with my emotions? That seems worse than none at all.
So what are we supposed to do?
I think we just walk forward. You give God opportunities to speak, but don’t assume that you can “make” God speak or reveal exactly what you’re supposed to do in every situation. Don’t assume that if you don’t have a “word from the Lord” that you’re somehow doing something wrong. Yes, examine yourself to make sure there’s nothing in your life that’s keeping God from answering your prayers. But remember: God speaks when God wants to speak. Let God be God.
And in the meantime, pray lots and teach yourself how to listen. Listen to the nudgings, to the little things. He promised that His sheep would know His voice (John 10), so follow Him closely. But don’t allow yourself to be paralyzed because you don’t have answers, or because you’re in a season of waiting. Unless you’ve been specifically told to wait, then move forward.
This week we’ve been talking about what to do when you feel like you want another baby, and your husband says no. Often we couch those discussions in terms of what God told us or what God wants. There are times when God does give specific words, and we do need to follow them. But if He doesn’t–don’t worry. Move forward. Keep listening, even in the silence. And I do believe that you will feel His love and acceptance and grace, even if you don’t hear a specific answer.
What do you think? Have you ever heard a specific word from God? What did that look like?
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I’ve discovered that God has a tendency to speak to me via music. There have been times I’ve been wrestling with something, and a song will come on the radio or the cable tv music station, and I just know He’s listening. But lately, He’s been very silent. Which is sooooooooooo hard, because now I feel like I’m at my wit’s end. But maybe, just maybe, He’s been speaking to me through other venues (i.e. the Bible studies I’ve been involved in, the books that have come across my path) and I just haven’t realized it. So, I’m participating in those Bible studies with an open heart, and I’m reading those books for the nuggets of wisdom I will glean from them. In the meantime, I’m waiting. (Psalm 27:14) Which is not something I do very well. 😉
I get that music thing, too! I often have a “song” each year, and it seems like that song plays on the radio or on a random playlist at key times. I haven’t had that for a while–it’s been more about specific verses–but I’ve had that, too. I totally love what you said about keeping your heart open. And I TOTALLY agree with you about how hard it is to wait!
I really liked what you said about those passages that mention situations where God doesn’t answer prayer because we do something that is contrary to what he expects of us already. If you think about it, the bible gives us a lot of instructions on how to lead our lives in general and most of us have enough work to “just” implement those things. Like, just try to live in the fruit of the spirit for one full day… Often it seems like though that we humans always try to seek to somehow hear this great thunder from heave voice that will tell us to embark on some spiritual adventure, because that is way more exciting then to listen to the old lonely lady at church or invite the awkward person for dinner or to buy a sandwich for the homeless guy on your way to work. Or to love your husband when you’re disappointed. Those things look just so boring and way less spiritual then hearing some amazing personal promise from God.
I find that often I didn’t hear God in a situation where he actually already told me what to do, but I just didn’t want to do it because it required sacrifice. It makes perfect sense then that God wouldn’t add anything new to my to-do list if I still struggle with the other thing he told me to do.
I am SO guilty of not doing the small things because I want God to tell me to do something big! It’s a big struggle that I have. And I think I often overlook a lot of people because of it.
Sheila, you may be waiting for the big things, but how you have touched my life, I would say you have heard and followed many big AND small things. God bless.
Oh, Nancy, thank you so much! That’s so lovely.
Fantastic article! We have discussed this same issue in our home many times. God speaks in a quietly to us, but many times I would prefer it if He spoke loudly or audibly. However, there are things He does to confirm the direction we are going is right. If my wife and I are both thinking about the same change, then I need to really be ready to accept that God is using her to confirm the gentle push He is giving me. He also uses other people around me to confirm that I am hearing from Him, not just ideas in my head. For example, if I am considering a move or a career change, others may make comments without me even mentioning that I am considering a change, comments that either encourage or warn against a certain direction. I also believe He can instill peace about a decision, even with the doubts. Having questions or doubts is OK, as long as we continue to seek God’s will and direction for our lives.
Exactly! I have found those kinds of confirmations, too.
Sheila, you really need the ability to comments. Your comment is really encouraging. There is nothing better than knowing my wife and I are walking in the will of God.
The ability to like your comments. Sorry, it didn’t all come through.
I don’t know how to do that! I can ask my web guy, but I’m kind of hesitant to, because a lot of my commenters are kind of nasty to each other. And I don’t want someone’s comment to get a lot of dislikes. But thank you for your thoughts indeed!
That is a great point. Some of the issues you write about are quite sensitive and some people do lose their filters when they comment on line.
Well you could only install a like button, and no dislike button.
Can you do that? I’ll ask my web guy!
I keep wondering how can you listen for God ?
Sheila this is too funny, just this morning I was pondering about this exact topic! So my finding this post of yours today has been my nudge from God that yes, He’s there, He’s listening and He can answer us. How amazing!
Oh, that’s wonderful! So glad.
I have heard some people say God does not hear your prayers or answer them if you are not right with God. I have also heard of testimony about non believers having prayers answered or being delivered from something aweful by God. So which is true? As someone who is by definition a Non believer, but is trying the church thing and I am in a bible study group, does God hear my prayers and lamentations? The biggest thing I beg for is to have self control around my child so I don’t hurt her, or worse. I have had severe PPD since her birth, and still struggle here and there especially when I don’t sleep. I have begged God to take it away but I still struggle. Why don’t He change me and protect the innocent child? Or is it even up to Him? These are the things I wrestle with when trying to believe in God.
Angie, that’s a great question! There are actually lots of stories of God answering the prayers of non-believers, specifically so that He could show them that He was real. I think the difference comes that once we are believers, the one thing that God really doesn’t want is hypocrisy. And if we have committed ourselves to Him, then He expects us to actually pursue Him, and not just turn to Him when we want something. So yes, I think God definitely hears your prayers and wants to help you over this! He really does. And I will pray, too, that He helps you.
Oh Angie! There is so much to struggle with, isn’t there?
I have similar questions myself, but I will tell you some experiences that I have had. When my marriage was struggling, neither of us were believers, and yet my husband was desperate enough to try prayer. I THINK that God answered this particular prayer of a nonbeliever because my husband was praying for the restoration of our marriage, which I THINK is God’s will. Since then, I have become a believer, although (at this stage) I’m the only one in my family.
One thing I’m wondering about now is whether it is possible that my prayers for my family are producing fruit in my nonbelieving family…I have seen some fairly radical changes in the nonbelieving members of my family that, to me, look like the fruit of the Spirit, and I have been wondering if my prayers (for their hearts to be softened to the Spirit) are being answered.
Oh, Eliza, how wonderful! And, yes, I really think that answered prayer is one of the ways that God draws nonbelievers to Himself. That’s wonderful!
Most of my Christian life, God have specifically spoken to me through dreams. I mean dreams that finally become reality. So often that sometimes I shiver when it happens and sometimes I’m like ‘wow’.
But I then discovered a pattern recently, when I’m emotional about sonething, I dream of it. This is not God speaking ofcourse. Why do I say so? For instance, I found myself becoming attracted to a particular co worker who is obviously not a believer. Just because he’s nice and all that and of course single. Then I started having some funny dreams. If I didn’t know better, I might have told myself it had some positive meaning but of course it doesn’t because the scripture is already clear on that. So I told God to take care of those emotions. But that thought me something, since the major prayer in my life now is ‘God, let me know my life partner’, I have also added ‘please, let me know before all those emotions kick in’. I believe he will.
Meanwhile, I’ve been really blessed by this blog post. You’re so right with the recurring scripture thing.
That sounds VERY wise! I’ve had dreams a bit, too. And it really is a “wow” thing. But those dreams feel differently, somehow, I’ve found. I pray that God helps you with your emotions, too!
I’ve had recurring dreams too that came true. the one I most vividly remember is about the birth of my second son. I had my first in the hospital and didn’t even consider to birth somewhere else when all of a sudden I kept dreaming over and over again that my son would be born at home in a super peaceful birth. So that’s what happened. The interesting thing is in this case that God unlocked some hidden things in my heart that were related to my first birth and brought healing in a very deep place, that I was not even aware of was broken. His ways are so much higher than ours! Now for baby no. 3 & 4 I also had vivid birth dreams but they were just regular pregnancy induced dreams. They feel different, I know they’re just my mind playing out birth scenarios but the dreams with baby 2 where different. They felt different and even though I was not 100% sure I started to take actions in that direction (meet with a midwife, get informed) and God kept confirming the direction. That the birth really ended up like what I saw and felt in the dream was amazing as this is something outside of our control.
That’s beautiful. Really beautiful.
Sheila, I had signed my wife up for your email notices, but took her off of it as I didn’t want to push her. She absolutely loved this article and wanted to know what happened to the emails. Can you provide the information on how to sign up for your daily emails notifying her of new articles that you post? We would both really appreciate it.
Wow! This post is so timely! Earlier yesterday (before your post came in) I was so confused, overwhelmed and practically depressed by the pressure of the decisions my husband and I have to make without “a word from the Lord”. We’ve been praying hard for direction but God seems silent; VERY silent. Im afraid of making mistakes and I’m sort of a perfectionist by nature which makes the silence extremely difficult. I had to “wrestle” in prayer and surrender to God with the decision to keep moving and trust Him to correct us if we were going wrong. Imagine how excited I was to read your post after that!
I’M NOT GOING TO BE PARALYZED BY FEAR.
I’LL KEEP MOVING FORWARD AND LISTENING!
GOD BLESS YOU SHEILA!!!
Woo hoo! I guess God did give you a specific word then, after all, eh? 🙂
I’ve wrestled with an issue for nearly 20 years. After marrying my husband and getting out of the service he wanted to move back to the Pacific Northwest to be near his family. I wanted to move back to the east coast. He won. I’ve spent years pleading, crying and praying for his heart to change. It’s never been an option to leave him. I don’t want that for my kids. And at times I’ve believed that if God wanted us to move he would change my husbands heart. But he never has. So I began praying for peace in my heart to accept what is. And have found that at times. But not often. Though the pleading and crying have all but dried up my heart still aches. I’ve wondered often if I was hearing God’s voice to stay r simply paralyzed by fear of making things worse. It’s wearisome carrying a broken heart for so many years. I wonder if I’ll ever have peace.
Dear Jennifer, I do not have the full idea of the importance of this move to you or the impact it’s had on you so I am being cautious. You weren’t clear if you feel that your desire to move to the East Coast is God’s will. However, I believe peace of mind could be affected by the thoughts we think and our perception of events. Seeing the move as “he won” could erode your peace. Let it be about “us” not about “you” versus “me”. Enjoy your relationship(s) there and trust God to move you if it’s His will. Infact, God can make your husband feel an urgent need to move once it’s His will. I pray that God’s peace floods your heart as you let it in Col 3; 15. Cheers.
Absolutely, Mercy! Totally agree. The move was 20 years ago. Have you done everything you can to build a life for yourself there? Because here’s the thing about how emotions and friendships work: If we’re bitter and sad and think, “this is a terrible place to live”, we give off that vibe. And then it’s hard for people to be kind to us and reach out, because we look like we’re angry. And then it becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy–“everybody here is so mean!”
But if you can say, “I’m going to be a friend to someone this week”, and find people that you can reach out to, or find something in the community that you enjoy doing or where you can serve, it’s far more likely that you’ll be able to attract friends and build that life for yourself.
Yes indeed Sheila. He gave a specific word after all. Would have missed it because I was expecting Him to speak in a particular way. Silly me, I had forgotten that God is dynamic.
Sheila, this is such a great post with so much wisdom to it. To answer your question, most of the time, when I’ve heard God speak, it’s been nudgings like you said. I can think of one particular time that it was very clear to me that it was God – when He told me to homeschool my daughter. I knew it was Him because it was NOT something that I really wanted to do or had in MY plans. And then when I spoke with others about it, conversations brought tears to my eyes – another confirmation.
A different time that I can think of that was more along the lines of just stepping out and doing something was when I was feeling led to start a women’s Bible study at my church. I can’t say that God clearly spoke to me to do it, but I also know that it was not something against His word, and it was kind of one of those times of just moving forward. What happened as a result was truly a God thing, and now, 4 years later, there are 3-4 different women’s groups that have resulted out of that one. So did God speak to me and tell me to do that? I’m not sure. But I know that it was something I wanted to do, and I feel God blessed it.
Finally, I think your point on listening is key. If we want to hear Him, we have to slow down long enough to listen.
I think God is speaking to us constantly. It’s less an issue of Him speaking, and more an issue of us hearing His “still, small voice”. Our focus should not be getting Him to speak but opening our ears, and being still enough to hear Him.
Love that! Totally agree. I think there’s far too much noise in this world. That’s why I go on so many walks when I pray. I’m away from anything electronic, and I can just focus better and be still.
I absolutely loved this article. I’m currently on my way to write my bachelor’s thesis on “hearing God and how to discern my voice from His” so I was wondering if you have any specific books on this subject?
Thank you so much for your article – very helpful and just the right time. 🙂
I’m not sure, Jess! I really liked Waiting on God by Wayne Stiles, though that’s slightly different. But it’s more about confirmation over the long haul, because so often God is silent. I’ve also written this post which may help.
Thank you for this beautiful article. I am pondering a move back to my family’s hometown. It’s a huge decision. I have been pondering for over a year on and off, lately more on. I feel I hear God’s voice in many occasions, but I question if it’s Him, or me thinking it’s him. I will continue to pray. Thank you!
Hey! I just wanted to add a comment to this discussion. I agree that sometimes God seems silent because sometimes there is nothing to be said. I read a book last night which reminded me that asking “God, what do you want to teach me?” is a loaded question. It assumes that God is always wanting to teach us something.
Yes, He wants to teach us, but good fathers don’t always teach. They just want to be with their children, playing or resting with them. So when I don’t hear God specifically guiding or teaching me, I rest and remember that He just wants us to BE together, with nothing to do.
That’s such a good point!