Have you been putting off taking care of yourself for far too long?
My head is just spinning right now because I spent all day yesterday in an RV park with my husband in Kansas (I’m giving my Girl Talk in South Hutchinson tonight!) devouring so many of the awesome resources in the Ultimate Healthy Meal Planning Bundle. I’ve made major headways when it comes to switching to real food in the past, so I haven’t been reading those resources as much. Instead, I’ve been focusing on the ones on hormone health and gut health, and I’ve been blown away by how much I did wrong.
Remember how I told you on Wednesday that the MRI had found the beginnings of fatty liver disease? Well, I did the self-assessment test that’s part of the Perfect Periods course, and it focused on eight different systems that could be “off” in our body. And the #1 result I got? My liver is messed up.
Yep.
There seriously is something to this, and I’ve got to start making some major changes now, while I’m still relatively healthy, before it gets worse.
And I’m so psyched with all these resources to do it!
But today, in my Friday Marriage Moment (my 400-word inspirational thing to give you ONE thought to take with you over the weekend), I want to challenge you to seriously think about your health. We shy away from talking about health because we don’t want to “fat shame”–and that really isn’t my intention. But this stuff is important. We can’t afford to ignore it. And I believe it’s a marriage issue.
Sheila’s Marriage Moment: Maybe It’s Time to Make a Major Change
One day, either you will be the caregiver for your spouse, or your spouse will care for you.
If you intend to be married until death do you part (as I certainly do!), then one of you is going to fall apart first, and the stronger person is going to have to look after the weaker one.
I’m okay with that. I think it’s actually an honour to be able to care for the person who has stood beside you through so much in your life.
But while we know our bodies will eventually fall apart, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do something about keeping them healthy now.
Some of the most highly shared posts on this blog are about how to show love to your husband—little things you can do to make him smile. But what if one of the best ways to show love is just to get yourself healthier–so that those caregiving days are very much ahead of us?
Now I am not talking about losing weight because you look bad.
Please hear me on this.
I’m talking about taking care of yourself so that you can feel more energetic, feel more confident, and live a healthier life.
I had a woman comment a while back who was so depressed because her husband had lost his desire for her since she was about 80 pounds overweight. He was a great husband and a great dad, but they had no sex life.
I don’t think that’s a valid excuse on his part, by the way. I think we should love each other regardless. But I found her reaction really heartbreaking. She said she didn’t think she could live in a sexless marriage, but she also loved food too much. She concluded that divorce was her only option.
Ladies, getting healthy is not impossible. It’s a choice that we can make.
And that choice has NOTHING to do with going on a diet by restricting your calories. It has to do with learning what goes into a healthy lifestyle, and then changing your habits.
Our bodies are highly intricate, interrelated systems. But what happens if we start clogging that system with stuff that shouldn’t be there, and don’t give it what it needs? What would happen to your kitchen if you decided not to clean it for a year? Sure, you could still cook in there, but would you want to?
Many of us are absolute fanatics about keeping our homes clean. Maybe we need to start putting just as much effort into keeping our bodies in tip-top shape.
Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it will require major change. No, it won’t be easy. But it’s worth it.
What is stopping you? Can you love your spouse enough to make a change?
Click here: Ultimate Healthy Meal Planning Bundle
What’s #1 at To Love, Honor and Vacuum?
Need some top tips? I’ve got some for you in this week’s top posts! #1’s and #2’s will have you adding some spice and excitement back into your marriage. Also, check out this week’s top post where I discuss weight issues and what might actually be at the root of the problem.
#1 NEW Post on the Blog: How To Lose Weight Without Burdening Your Family
#1 on the Blog Overall: Top 10 Tips For Initiating Sex With Your Husband
#2 from Facebook: Top 10 Ways To Be More Adventurous In Bed
#2 from Pinterest: 10 Simple Ways To Put Sexy Back In Your Marriage
We’re Having So Much Fun on the Road!
In the last two weeks we’ve covered about 2,500 miles I think. And it is HOT in Kansas. We weren’t really expecting that!
But this weekend we have our last actual engagements, and then we have two weeks off before we fly home. We’re going to hang out in Arizona, I think, where we’ll go for hikes in the morning when it’s cool enough and we’ll work in the afternoon in the RV.
Here’s where we’ve been so far:
I Met Up with Some Winners–
My event in Sioux City, Iowa, was with the MOPS group that won me coming to speak at their church last year in MOMCon. And we’re working out the details of when I’ll be speaking in Colorado this spring with the group that won it last year in the Homemaking Bundle!
And then in California I’ll be meeting up with the woman who won me taking her out to dinner in the bundle a year ago. So it’s neat to see all these people!
We’ve got three events in California pretty much booked in January, but there’s room for more. So if you’re in New Mexico, Arizona, or California, I’d love to join you! Just email my assistant Tammy here.
Remember, the Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle is gone Monday at Midnight
And there really is some awesome stuff in there. Over $2400 worth of resources for just $29.97. And there are $250 in physical bonuses, too, including a FREE 64-load laundry detergent.
Check it out here: Ultimate Healthy Meal Planning Bundle!
Have a great weekend, everyone!
Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 25 years and happily married for 20! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 8 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.
Thank you for addressing this. This is NOT talked about enough in Christian circles….and when it is, it’s often shut down because “character is more important”. (As if being strong and healthy is only about how you look!) I think the connection between how well your body functions (to the extent that it’s within your control) and how much of a positive impact you can make on the world around you is all too often ignored or glossed over. But your body and your soul are connected, and if one of them is “off”, the other will inevitably suffer too…
YES! What if God has called you to something, and you aren’t able to do it because you just don’t have the energy?
And I just think this applies to marriage so much. We do our spouses a disservice when we don’t look after ourselves. We really do!
Of course character is more important than beauty, but we’re talking about health. And health and beauty aren’t the same thing. We need to have a better conversation about this for sure!
Yes, yes, yes.
When I do look after myself I find my house is less messy and my brain is less cluttered.
It’s all linked.
I pray more when I’m exercising, too. And I sleep better, which means I have more energy the next day, and so I clear up a bit more stuff and feel better and it’s a good thing.
Of course the opposite is also true. If I don’t exercise and don’t eat well for a week or two then the house gets messy and I don’t sleep well and reading my Bible seems like a lot of effort and …
It is linked! I have to admit I didn’t give a lot of credence to a lot of this 10 years ago. But I’ve been just FASCINATED reading so much of this this week. It really does make sense. And there’s so much in there about libido, too. I think I’ll have to try to write on that on Monday, because I’ve never really looked at the physical aspect of it. So fascinating!
A little joke I have is that homeschool moms have a triangle. One angle is homeschool well, the other is a clean house, and the third is mom’s health….but you can only choose two! I get slammed for that joke, but there’s always a handful of moms in the back row nodding their heads. I have tried to balance the scales for years now and it just isn’t happening. In fact every angle tipped. My house is a wreck, my health is a wreck, and homeschooling is a wreck. So, I decided to enroll them in public school (and haven’t stopped crying since), but they are excited and I am eager to heal and rebalance the scales.
Sometimes we have to do that! I know what you mean about the crying, though. I do get that. 🙁
Why is putting your kids in school such a big deal if you have to? I can’t WAIT to put my daughter in school! I was NOT called to be a stay at home mom, and I’m feeling the repercussions of that choice. I wish there wasn’t such frowning upon women who don’t do the homemaking thing well.
I think it’s just the emotions behind it when you had the dream of homeschooling and you honestly enjoy being home with them. I LOVED being home with my girls and I LOVED teaching them things, and it was really, really emotionally hard when it ended. It’s not a judgment thing per se; it’s just sadness that something you dreamed about can’t happen anymore, that’s all.
Thank you, Sheila. You nailed it.
Thanks, Kate!
Angie,
Why is putting your kids in school such a big deal? I can’t answer that for everyone, and I certainly can’t for Kate, but for some people, home schooling is a calling. God puts it really deep down in their hearts for their family. He did that with my mom. The church I was raised in even had a Christian school, and there were years my mom was pressured to put me and my brother in the school and volunteer her time there. But she never felt the release from her call to homeschool, so the answer was no. Years later my family can all see that my brother and I are better off for it.
I just want to add a disclaimer that I’m not saying anyone who DOES send their kids to school is wrong, or loves their kids less. 🙂
I have a special needs child that would not do well in school. At all. I have another child who is so far advanced, academically, that school would be nothing more than babysitting for her. If I absolutely had to send them it would break my heart.
I want to homeschool. I love homeschooling. But homeschooling (four school-aged kids plus a baby) is a FULL TIME job. But I also do the cooking, housework, errands, yardwork, etc.
But I have committed to exercise daily. It’s a priority in my schedule.
So… just to to be clear here… if I don’t feel the “calling” to be at home and it’s killing me, I’m not a bad mom or wife? Cause a lot of blogs and commenters and book writers have the exact OPPOSITE opinion of that. I miss having my own money, I miss having my own space, I miss having recreational activities that don’t revolve around the toddler’s schedule or needs. I guess you ladies who DREAMED of having children and being moms probably don’t understand someone like me who never dreamed this or wanted this. I want what’s best for my daughter, but isn’t a sane, balanced, mother best for her?
Angie,
Please don’t feel judged and don’t feel judgy in return. We are all different. I know a woman who I consider to be one of the best moms in my circle and she us a career woman. Another mom I know started an entire foundation for her special needs son and us also a career mom while her hubby is a stay at home dad. Another rock-solid mama runs her own business and hires housekeeping, and is a fierce mom a to her boys, even though the thought of staying home with them 24/7 was nauseating to her. Another mom is a stay at home homeschooling solo parenting mother who is amazing and Godly.
My daughter has special needs and I was told homeschooling would be best for her by other homeschooling advocates, but not so. She needs help that I am not trained to give her right now. Some moms have the knack, perhaps God-given according to circumstances. Unfortunately, I have the will and the heart, but my brain and body are failing me and I need time to figure out what is wrong and heal it, and two of my 4 children need professional educational assistance.
That is just my very own unique situation. I think sometimes Christians take the idea that narrow is the path to heaven means that our lifestyles and circumstances are that narrow, too.
I noticed recently that a rather large portion of Christian women are suffering from chronic fatigue, adrenal fatigue, thyroid issues, anxiety, depression, and fibromyalgia. Every time I turn around another Christian mom blogger, another homeschooling mom, another ministry leader has a diagnosis. Either Satan has an all out attack going on or we ladies are burning ourselves out. And now I find myself within those statistics. Is that not worth my tears?
I love my children and you love your daughter. My desire to be home with them and your desire to not be home does not mean either of us love them more or are better moms….just different. So, don’t feel judged.
Great reply, Kateri! I love it.
I too have seen many homeschool moms “burn out”, constantly on the brink of nervous breakdown and other health tragedies. And many of these moms eventually went on to lose many of their kids hearts, as the kids grew older and saw more of the real world. As much as I want to believe in homeschooling, (and I have definitely known people who did it successfully) I have seen too much of moms trying to do too much and literally going crazy because of it. I went into motherhood thinking I’d homeschool, not because I wanted to, but because it was the best thing I could do for them. Through much prayer and a sequence of events, we decided not to homeschool (for the present at least.) I know other homeschool moms who have been able to accomplish it and stay more balanced in it. More power to them!!! I’ve concluded that we’re simply not all cut out for it or called to it, or we may just be in a season where homeschooling isn’t an option. Your comment was very insightful, and I think you’re very brave to do what is out of your dreams and “comfort zone.”
Thank you ladies. I am definitely not judging stay at home moms who love it and wanted to do it. I think that’s great! I am just trying to figure out what I am supposed to be doing with my life since this is NOT going well at all for my family and it seems like every time I turn around there’s a backlash at women who don’t like this lifestyle or just plain can’t do it! I know I need to stop caring about what other people do but I also want women to stop bullying each other for leading different lives! One size does NOT fit all! So I really do appreciate what you ladies had to say. 🙂
Well, reading this encouraged me to put down the pumpkin pie slice I was about to eat (not my first helping, either), and made me determined to focus more on health this weekend.
I agree that what we put into our bodies effects more than just our weight and appearance, if I have a day of bingeing on unhealthy foods, especially in excessive portions, I don’t feel good, often for more than a day afterwards! Same with exercise and generally moving my body. I am really not very good at ‘working out’, but I do have a really active job, and I notice a huge difference in how I feel if I have a couple of days of being stuck in meetings, rather than outside, moving my body.
Taking care of myself is taking care of my husband’s wife and my kid’s mom. They need me.
And I enjoy looking my best. Nothing wrong with that.
I also think gluttony is now the unmentionable issue in churches. It used to be porn. Enjoying food and feasting are great but eating as a way of dealing with hard things isn’t.
I agree with you on all points, Lisa. Thanks for articulating this!
Thank you for writing this!! So needed. I have struggled with this issue for over 6 years. I am not overweight, in fact, sort of the opposite. But I have a myriad of health problems, BV being the most miserable of all. No matter what I did, it kept torturing me (worst of it making sex so painful I no longer looked forward to it). After extensive research I found out that certain foods were aggravating my condition a LOT! So now when I see a piece of sugary, gluten filled cake, I ask myself, what do I value more, a healthy sex life or immediate gratification for my tastebuds? It’s so hard though. It takes a lot of self control. But it’s so worth it to me. I’ve gotten plenty of “I could NEVER eat like that!” and “are you sure that’s really necessary?!” and “I feel so sorry for you!” from other women, which doesn’t exactly make it easier. But being pain free has changed my sex life. And add to that, I have more energy, less headaches, less anxiety and I sleep better. I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me! ? Thank you for writing. I always enjoy reading your stuff.
Want to add… For me it wasn’t that I didn’t want to eat healthier and exercise more. I did, but it looked overwhelming and expensive. And for years I just didn’t feel like I was worth it. I would spend money for my kids and husband, but I’d wait till I could no longer survive before I’d start spending money on myself. I’ve had to change my thinking, that I AM WORTH IT. This is the loving thing to do for my family. They need me to be healthy. My husband was a little skeptical at first, but after seeing the change in me he has become so supportive!
Good for you Sara! We are wives, not slaves. We also need to be healthy and have fulfillment.
Way to go, Sara! Thank you for sharing. I’m on a similar journey where I have to give up stuff I love, but it IS worth it, and it’s not like there aren’t amazing things we can replace it with.
I am loving your posts about how important our health is! It SO is! I am a much more loving, kind, fun wife when I am taking care of myself! I think it’s great to look at our health as not just taking care of ourselves as individuals, but also of our marriages!