Wifey Wednesday: Setting Goals as a Couple

Goal setting. Usually when you think of those two words your mind immediately shifts to January 1st thinking.

You think about the plans you can put in place for a how to better yourself for the upcoming year and what you hope to accomplish.

But what if you begin to think about goals setting as something entirely different, as something you and your husband do together?

I’m actually quite passionate about setting goals as a couple.

I think that couples need that common vision, and when you have it, it’s so much easier to bring up issues, like your parenting philosophies or how you spend your money, because you can ask if what you’re doing now fits in with the vision. It makes conflict less personal and more objective, and so it’s easier. And that’s why when Victoria from Creative Homekeeper sent me this post on how to set goals as a couple, I thought it would be a great fit.

Is this something you need to do? Back to school time is a great time to sort out your priorities for the year ahead. Here’s Victoria to tell you why you should add goal setting as a couple to that list:

Many times we approach goal setting as an individualized activity, as something we do for ourselves. Goal setting is more than just an individual act however, it has the ability to completely transform families, but it starts with the goals couples make together.

When husbands and wives sit down together to plan for their marriage and family, big things happen.

The focus is moving from “me” to “we.”

Yes, there are individual goals to plan, and I a big proponent of those, but I firmly believe in the impact of a strong and vibrant family when we sit down together to cast a vision for our faith, our marriage and for our family.

3 Types of Goals Couples Should Make Together

Goals to Grow in Faith Together

Have you ever set a goal to read through the Bible in one year, serve in your church’s children’s ministry or read a certain number of spiritual growth books for the given year? Those are great goals to grow your faith and strengthen your heart muscles but what if you took it a step further?

What if you and your spouse set the same goals together?

The cornerstone of a strong marriage is one that is built on faith. When we grow in faith together it has a positive impact on our whole family.

Goals couples can set together to grow their faith together might include:

• Reading the Bible together every day
• Picking a book of the Bible to study and discuss together
• Creating a morning or evening devotional time
• Reading the same spiritual growth books together and discussing them
• Attending church worship together
• Participating in a small group or fellowship community together
• Picking one ministry in church and commit to serving together

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Goals to Strengthen Your Marriage

The single most important relationship outside of our relationship with God, is the one we have with our spouse.

Just like faith is the cornerstone for a strong marriage, a strong marriage is the glue that holds the family together.

Growing and strengthening your marriage should be very high on your priority list, even when you are in seasons where it feels all the energy is being poured out on the kids.

Make your marriage, and your family, strong by sitting down together as a couple and creating goals that will draw you two closer, allowing you to connect spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

Goals that couples can make together to strengthen your marriage might include:

• Commit to date night, whether that be one night a week, every two weeks or once a month.
• Write love notes or send texts to one another
• Read marriage books together and discuss
• Connect physically each day through hand holding, hugging, kissing or sex
• Plan an overnight date together once a year, if not more
• Get in the habit of establishing a weekly meeting
• Create a mission statement for your marriage

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Goals to Build Your Family

We are living in a day and age where the family is under attack and struggling. Our kids are getting blasted with so many mixed messages and while we can’t hold a blanket out to shelter our children from everything evil in the world, there are goals we can make together to build and strengthen our family.

When our marriages are strong, our families can thrive.

Little hearts feel secure and loved, bigger hearts feel safe and free to communicate with their parents and the trust that develops will be a valuable tool.

Goals that couples (and children) can make together to build your family might include:

• Build on your marriage mission statement to include a family mission statement
• Read the Bible together as a family
• Develop a morning or evening devotional time
• Plan a family fun day or night at least once a month or more
• Depending on your family’s schedule, make mealtime important (breakfast or dinner)
• Read and discuss parenting books together, if your children are older pick a book you can all read together about faith and strong families
• Plan a vacation or staycation together
• Attend church as a family
• Serve or volunteer together
• Create a family meeting time

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When we sit down together any time of year (because goal setting isn’t just limited to January 1st) and create goals as a couple, we are planning more than just goals.

We are making a plan for strong faith, a strong marriage and even stronger family.

What goals do you make together in your marriage and for your family?

Victoria Osborn is a wife and is a mother to three young children who keep her on her toes most days! She loves Jesus, writing, coffee and all things book related. She is author of Goals with Grace: Goal Setting with Intention & Purpose, a brand new goal setting system that works! You can find her writing at Creative Home Keeper where she helps women aspire to be more purposeful & filled with joy by providing grace-filled tips & resources to live a more simple, intentional & devotional life. You can connect with her on Facebook and Instagram.

Sheila says:

What great motivation! Keith and I need to work more on our spiritual goals. We’re really good at the other things; we’ve decided to pick a book to read together this fall.

Now, people, here’s what you can do about it, too: Pick ONE area that you know you’re weakest in–whether it’s your spiritual life, your marriage goals, or your family–and choose ONE goal that you’re going to work towards. Just start there. Choose one + one. And then talk to your husband about it tonight! Then keep the lists handy and refer back to them over the year to add more goals.

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