Pornography hijacks people’s sex drives and ruins people’s lives.
There are no ifs, ands or buts about it.
I don’t have time to write a big post today because (I’m really excited about this!) they’re coming to give me new internet in about 45 minutes, so I’ll be offline for a while. We have the slowest internet in the world, I think, and finally a company has laid down infrastructure in our subdivision so I can enter the “normal” speed world. And for me that’s important. It takes Katie about 8 hours to upload one of her YouTube videos when she’s here at home, and only about 20 minutes in her condo in Ottawa. So this will be a big change for me!
So I wanted to share something important today that I didn’t have to write myself.
This weekend I saw this video from Elizabeth Smart, who survived 9 months with a crazed kidnapper and his wife when she was just 14. I love how strong she is today. Please listen to her words; they matter.
Pornography made it worse.
Porn would fuel his desire to do things to her, so that being with his wife was no longer enough, and they had to go and kidnap an innocent little girl.
This weekend I got sucked down the YouTube black hole and I watched a documentary on Jaycee Dugard, too, who spent 18 years with her kidnapper (I think I’m actually distantly related to her; fourth cousin or something). Porn played a role there as well.
In fact, in every major sex crime you’ll ever hear about, I can practically guarantee you that the guy used porn. Canada’s infamous Paul Bernardo did. Ted Bundy did. They all did.
This is not to say that every porn user will become a rapist, but some will. And we can’t afford another young girl (or young boy) living through this.
But for all the high profile ones we know about, what about the quiet ones that never make the news? The stepchildren that are abused at home. The little sisters that are used. Even the daughters.
And for those who never abuse? They still have those images in their heads and it changes how they think about sex.
Sex is no longer about intimacy; it’s about taking something from someone else.
It’s an extremely impersonal act where objectifying the other person is part of the allure. And once you’ve gone down that road, it’s so hard to get “normal” sexuality back.
This is serious stuff. We need to fight back. One way we can do that is to make sure that all of us with teens in the house have Covenant Eyes installed on our computers, devices and tablets. It doesn’t cost very much (and you get one month free if you use my link!), but it means that if anyone is tempted to look at porn, it will be easier to overcome that temptation because you know that someone will find out. Often that’s all it takes to withstand that temptation.
Think of all the things you were tempted to do as a teenager. What if they could have been accomplished at just the click of a mouse? You’d likely have given in, right? That’s not enough time for your brain to say, “wait a minute, I don’t really want to do this.” Not enough time to listen to the Holy Spirit.
But if you install something where they know there are repercussions (or where there’s a filter on anyway), then they may just stop.
Our teens deserve better than what we’re giving them.
Our boys deserve to grow up and still know how to make love, and not just use somebody. Our girls deserve to grow up and know what it is to be cherished and cradled. And our girls deserve to grow up to desire to be loved, not just to desire to be used (which is what happens to girls who watch porn).
What are we doing to this generation? And what are unleashing on the world? Let’s make sure that our corner of the world, at least, is safe.