Do you ever wonder if your husband has feelings?
Every Friday I like to run a quick, 400-word Marriage Moment with one thought to take us through the weekend. I’m still enjoying my vacation right now, so I thought I’d run this post from Brittany at God’s My Healer. She’s reminding us that just because your husband may not be overly verbal, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have feelings. And some of you likely need to hear this message this weekend!
Sheila’s Marriage Moment: Those Strong, Silent Types Still Have Feelings!
Lately, I have found myself voicing my frustration about the stage of life we are in. I’ve complained, ranted, become angry…the whole works. And never once, not even one single time did I stop to ponder my man’s heart. I just assumed that because he wasn’t saying much that he didn’t care–and I was so wrong. Turns out, his desires align with mine but the Lord hasn’t provided the pathway for our desire yet. Instead of whining and complaining like me, he’s been quietly working on finding a solution. And this realization smacked me in the forehead: I have been so incredibly selfish.
Selfishness is sadly something I gravitate to. It’s like that ex boyfriend you fear you’ll never be rid of. Ugh. Just go away already!
Sometimes as women we forget or ignore the fact that while our men aren’t wired like us, they still fear, hurt and want. They too are emotional beings made in the image of God. And so often, we make it harder on them than we realize. Think about how terrible it would make you feel if your husband didn’t consider your emotions. Most of us would probably explode into some sort of crying mess.
While men may not scream at us and run away to cry on their bed (totally guilty), they still feel the rejection of our words and the weight of them can crush their spirit. We may not find them weeping in the bathroom eating ice cream, but we very well could find them shutting down on the inside.
Your husband is not a robot, but if you want him to become one, keep on pretending he can’t feel pain.
Continue to act like you’re the only one in the marriage that is capable of having a broken heart. Over time, you’ll get your robot manufactured straight from your grumbling spirit. Congratulations, you’ve just destroyed the communication in your relationship.
I have come to realize that when I make comments of discontentment about money, lack of children or frustration with having to work, these are direct blows to my husband’s heart. They tell him he’s not doing a good enough job as a provider. They crush his spirit and only inspire frustration and fear in his mind. As wives, our words hold a great amount of weight in the lives of our men. More weight than any other person they know. More than their Mom, Dad or best friend. And our words can either speak life or death, encourage or cut down, heal or break. I want mine to be words of life, encouragement and healing.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
Thanks, Brittany! You can read a longer version of her post here:
Hi! Brittany here. I’m a wife to an amazing man for almost 3 years and a follower of Christ. I currently work part time and serve in women’s ministry at my church. My husband and I have also recently started teaching the Youth. I thrive on seeing women open up their hearts to The Savior and to other women around them. I believe transparency is the key to growth so I promise to be honest, even when it hurts.
I blog at God’s My Healer.
And thank you to Cheri Gregory who has graciously agreed to keep the comments section active while I’m away (and she had a guest post this week, too!). Be sure to stop by her website and check her out, too. She’s got great stuff on HSPs (Highly Sensitive People!)
What’s #1 at To Love, Honor and Vacuum?
We’ve got #1’s and #3’s this week in our Tops just to switch things up and get some different posts on the list! Here are some great tips and on marriage, sex, and understanding your significant other. Take a look!
#1 NEW Post on the Blog: Don’t Be So Sensitive! What Happens When Highly Sensitive People Get Married
#3 on the Blog Overall: Top 10 Effects Of Porn On Your Brain, Your Marriage, And Your Sex Life
#1 from Facebook: Top 10 Ways To Be More Adventurous In Bed
#3 from Pinterest: 29 Days To Great Sex Day 6: Why Your Hubby Wants Your Body