I’m enjoying a wonderful summer vacation with my family right now, and I hope that you all are enjoying your summer, too!
And since I’m not around to write a post for you, I thought I’d link to a post that I wrote earlier this year for iBelieve.com on submission in marriage based on my book, 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage. Here’s the first little bit:
When I speak at marriage conferences, I often ask wives what they think submission means. The room grows silent as they hem and haw, until finally a few hands are raised. “When you disagree, he gets the final say.”
I’ve never heard an answer other than that one. If you think about it, though, that sounds rather peculiar–as if God’s command for women in marriage can be summed up as, “in the case of ties, husbands win”! Perhaps when it comes to submission, the immortal words of thePrincess Bride apply, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” So let’s look at what submission does–and doesn’t–mean.
Viewing Submission as About Decision-Making Assumes You’ll Disagree
If submission means that the husband makes the decisions, then the underlying assumption is that the husband and wife will disagree.
Does the same God who sets high standards for us–whose will is that “there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought (1 Corinthians 1:10)”–turn to marriage and say, “obviously agreement isn’t possible there“? Why is unity the starting point in every other Christian relationship, while disunity is the starting point in marriage?
In Paul’s epistles and in Jesus’ prayer for believers found in John 17, God’s will is clearly that Christians will seek His will in unity. By assuming that a wife will always defer to her husband, though, we’re not assuming that the couple will find God’s will at all. If the couple is in disagreement and they do it the husband’s way, there are only two possibilities: either one of them is not hearing God, or both of them are not hearing God.
Want to see the other 3 points? Just read the rest of the article here!
And don’t forget to check out my big article on what submission actually DOES mean right here.
Have a wonderful day, everyone!
And say hi to Sarah Ball, who is moderating the comments and jumping in while I’m away! She’s guest posted for me before, and writes a ton about anxiety, She’s a great friend who is going places and has such an important message. Thanks, Sarah!