Does your marriage feel “sexy”? Or does it feel “safe”? “Routine”? “Boring”?
There’s nothing wrong with safe. There’s nothing even wrong with routine! But let’s face it: sometimes you just want to get sexy back again.
Note: This post contains some affiliate links.
In those early days of marriage, we likely felt the relationship was “sexy” because we made an effort. We shaved our legs. We took care of ourselves. We pulled out all the lingerie we were given at that bridal shower or bachelorette party.
Then, in the months or years since, maybe your relationship has revolved far less around sex and feeling excited by each other and far more around kids and bills and logistics and just getting through this next day. And you realize you’ve got this great guy–but you also don’t feel super excited by him anymore.
Everything has just gotten, well, boring.
But you can bring sexy back!
I’m not talking about how to be more adventurous in bed or how to spice things up–though these things are important, too! I’m not even talking about flirting with your husband. Today I just want to talk about everyday things you can do and habits you can put in place to keep that “sexy” vibe front and centre in your relationship, rather than relegating it to somewhere deep in the basement, in a box behind the furnace, that you just pull out when emergency strikes.
So today, for top 10 Tuesday, I present to you 10 things to bring sexy back to your marriage!
Let’s engage the senses–and let’s start with sight!
1. Wear pretty panties. And match the bra!
Last year, while on an RV trip with my hubby, I realized that I had forgotten to pack underwear. So we went to Wal-Mart and I bought one of those 10-packs of women’s underwear.
But I didn’t realize those particular panties came up to the belly button.
I have never felt so unsexy in my life.
Don’t wear ugly panties.
Seriously, ladies, when pretty panties are so readily available, take advantage! And, if you’re able, buy a matching bra. Or here’s what I do: for each bra that I own, I choose one panty that’s expensive that matches, and two much cheaper versions that coordinate well. And then I’m always wearing an “outfit”! And I’m sure to parade around the bedroom in it in the morning so Keith knows what’s underneath the clothes today.
So rummage through your underwear drawer and throw out all the ugly stuff. Go do it now. And then pick up some pretty stuff!
Bonus: Get a swimsuit that makes you feel sexy. I love Modcloth’s vintage two-piece suits. Some are quite modest, and I think they’re really attractive and hide a multitude of stretch marks.
2. Grab something handy!
Speaking of clothing, start thinking of sexy things you can do with guy’s clothing, too. Sure, a woman feels better in pretty underwear. But you know what’s sexy on a guy? A tie. Get creative! Grab that tie and pull him towards you into a kiss. Run the tie along your body, as if it’s an extension of him (and he’ll wish it were!).
What if he doesn’t wear a tie? Well, does he have a belt? Hook your fingers in it and pull him towards you (using the buckle right above the crotch). If he wears a toolbelt, grab a tool and use it to drag him towards you. Help him to associate different items of clothing that he wears to work with flirting with you!
3. Flash him.
You’re allowed to be an exhibitionist for your husband. Add a bit of excitement by trying to flash him at least once a day. When you’re walking around your bedroom, open up your robe. Hike your skirt up in the car (if you’re on a deserted road!). Even cuddle under a blanket naked (or topless!) to watch a movie.
4. Wear a flirty apron
Seriously, aprons are sexy! I think it’s because they’re the ultimate in feminine. And when I wear an apron when I cook–well, I just feel like a woman. And that’s important!
Now let’s work on another sense: hearing.
5. Have sexy, breathless conversations
There is something ever-so-sexy about whispering. Maybe it’s the breath in the ear even more than what’s being said, but try, every time you hug your husband, to whisper something sexy, even if it’s just “I love feeling your arms around me” or “I missed you today!” Don’t say it; whisper it!
And what about scent?
6. Add some sexy scents to your bedroom
Did you know that essential oils can boost your libido? Seriously, scent does a lot to help us to feel sexy!
So choose some essential oils (I’ve got ideas at this post) and add a few drops to a spritzer mixed with vodka & water and spray it on your pillow at night. Put a few drops on a candle. Or better still, get a diffuser for your bedroom!
7. Move all kid stuff out of your bathroom–and move cologne & great smelling lotions in!
If you and your husband have your own bathroom, rather than sharing it with your kids, then let it stay your bathroom! Get any kid paraphernalia out of there. And move in some candles (to deal with any unpleasant smell 🙂 ) and add some colognes and some wonderfully decadent smelling lotions.
Then USE those lotions! And encourage your husband to use some cologne (if you like it), too. Just read Song of Solomon to see the time the lovers spent preparing for each other. It’s good to get in the habit of pampering our bodies so that our spouses can enjoy them!
Finally, let’s add some sexy touch!
8. Give naked massages–regularly
I love a great back massage. It helps me decompress, helps remind me I’ve got a body, too, and helps me to focus on that body and get out of my head so that I have an easier time transitioning to sex.
And massages when we’re naked together? That just feels luscious. There’s something so special about human touch!
Here’s a treat for you–you can learn how to give the most awesome sensual but therapeutic massage with the Melt massage videos. It’s an online video course you can take that will teach you how and your husband how to give the most awesome massages–that actually work out the knots but also help you feel so sensual together.
You just watch a 5 minute video each night, while you learn a new skill. And then, at the end of the course, you’ll have a full 30-minute routine you can do (or you can do a much shorter routine that’s still effective!). Imagine how touching each other like that can help bring sexy back.
And right now, take advantage of their Father’s Day special, where you’ll get access to the foot massage course FREE. And don’t forget to download the printables you can scatter around the house to tell him what’s coming!
Check it out here. You’ll get a lifetime access, a 60-day money back guarantee, and a super-sensual marriage.
9. Shower together
Jump in the shower together regularly and lather up! It doesn’t have to take a long time, but have fun being naked together and rubbing against each other even if you’re not having sex. The more you feel each other naked, the more you’ll think of each other that way.
10. Sleep naked
I’ve never been a particularly sleep-naked-kind-of-gal because I tend to get so COLD at night. But I have a friend who swears by it! Sleeping naked helps her to always feel sexy with her husband.
So we bought a super warm duvet and now it’s easier for me to do on occasion, too! So why not make it a habit to sleep naked, especially with summer coming?
Being naked is the ultimate in sexy, because it’s something you can ONLY do with your husband.
So show some skin!
There you are–10 ideas to bring sexy back. But I’d love to hear some of yours, too! Let me know in the comments: How do you keep that sexy feeling alive? How do you keep “feeling like a woman”? Let’s talk!
Read a few pages. Do what it says. Have incredible fun!
Learn to talk more, flirt more, and even explore more! You'll work on how to connect emotionally, spiritually, AND physically. And the ebook version is only $4.99!