It’s Wednesday, the day when we always talk marriage!
And today I’ve got a treat. Leah Heffner from Life Around the Coffee Cup sent me this awesome post based on the story, “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.” It first appeared here, but I wanted to rerun it for you all. It brought tears to my eyes. I hope you enjoy it as well!
If you give your husband a kiss, he’ll probably want a hug to go with it.
You’ll nestle your head under his chin, and just breathe him in.
The smell will remind you of when you first started dating and you didn’t want to be anywhere else but nestled under his chin.
You’ll think back on some of your favorite first dates – ice cream, pancakes, holding hands in front of your friends.
Before you can get too carried away, a toddler will probably squeeeeeeze his way in between your legs, breaking apart your hug.
You’ll open your eyes to see breakfast dishes that need cleaned up, kids who need noses or butts wiped, and the million other tiny and enormous things you do every day.
You’ll see the little babies running around and the messes and pile of bills and the work shirts.
You’ll see the rogue marker marks and mountain of laundry and the inch thick dust bunnies.
You might be so overwhelmed, you won’t know where to start.
You’ll see all the ways your life is different now than it was when it was late-night pancake dates and ice cream runs.
So you’ll take a deep breath, whisper a prayer, take a drink of coffee, and just start on something.
You’ll get so caught up in what’s going on around you, you’ll miss talking to your husband before he leaves for work.
You’ll start to say goodbye as he leaves, when you notice the baby has had a blow out.
After you change the diaper, you’ll wash your hands, and notice your wedding ring.
Your wedding ring will remind you of your wedding, and the man that you married.
You’ll think again of all the ways life is different now than it was when he slipped that ring on your finger.
And then you’ll think of all the ways it’s still the same, just like when you nestled your head under his chin.
You’ll hear the door to the garage shut and realize your husband’s leaving for work.
You’ll realize you don’t want to miss giving him one more hug before he leaves this morning.
So you’ll run out into the driveway looking like a hot mess.
He’ll smile because he thinks you’re beautiful, and you’ll still not understand how much he means it.
You’ll probably smile back, trying to pick one out of a million things you could say.
Instead, you’ll decide to give him a hug.
And chances are, if you give you’re husband a hug, YOU’LL want a kiss to go with it.
Leah Heffner the wife to a sexy, beard-sporting, man of God and mom to three cutie-pie-heads. She’s a new southerner, a sometimes-DIYer, and a novice gardener. She loves coffee, a good Netflix binge, and encouraging other women. You can find her giving encouragement to fuel the journey of marriage, motherhood, faith, and friendship at Life Around the Coffee Cup.
Join Leah for her 5 Day to Thrive Marriage Challenge! It’s free. And it’s awesome!
[adrotate group=”1″]
This is so sweet!
That’s so sweet.
Sweet, but reality? Nope. Things are waaaayyyyy different after marriage and babies. But this IS a “story.” Guess I’m just tired of false romantic stories, i.e. books, tv, movies, posts like this.
Angie, I’m really sorry that this isn’t a reality for you. I know you’re really exhausted with your little girl, and that your husband isn’t a big help. I’d just say, “hang in there!” Really focus on the positive–the things that are good. Write down five things you’re thankful for everyday. And then start speaking the positive out loud to your husband. Sometimes we get in such negative ruts and we can’t see how to get out of it. I know you’re tired and overwhelmed, but being a mom is still really a blessing! I pray that you will find that a reality soon.
I love my baby, and my husband does help with her. Its just that we’ve spent 9 years or so where he was happy just being roomates and I need more than that in a marriage! I’m so jealous of you girls whose husbands chase you around the bedroom and beg you to put the laundry down to spend time with him, who gives you that open mouthed WOW look when you are completely dolled up and looking sexy. He’s really a good man, pays the bills, takes care of his dad who lives with us, doesn’t beat me, doesn’t cheat, doesn’t drink or do drugs. I should be satisfied right?
I was where you are for years, probably around 4 to be exact. We were living in the same house, but would never kiss and he would not say I LOVE YOU. It always broke my heart. It seemed like we just got stuck in a rut. I tried, but he was so hard hearted. I started the book, The Power of a Praying Wife, and I see a difference in him.It takes time, but try to make praying for your family, esp your marraige and intimacy a priority. I really believe it helps!
Men are different from one to another, you should be very proud if him instead of looking for things that he can’t give you.. If you want something new, you should be the to initiate or ask him it’s time you do something different.. If you keep thoughts in your head it will confuse you same as your partner.. Don’t make it so difficult for him and also for you because there’s really nothing wrong.. Enjoy life angie, you’re a lucky woman, a lucky wife.. God bless your family..
Hey Angie! I’m Leah and I wanted to personally invite you join 5 to Thrive. Marriage is hard and when we add little kids to the equation, people who need us all the time, it can get even harder. 5 to Thrive is a free email based marriage challenge. It’ll take less than 5 minutes a day to complete and is designed to help you see things to be thankful for, as Sheila mentioned in her comment. You can learn more about it here: http://www.leahheffner.com/5-thrive-challenge/ We’d love to have you!!
I am thankful for a million things in my life and marriage. I just can’t get it through my head and my heart to be satisfied with the bare bones of a supposedly “romantic” relationship. Why does marriage become more of a business PARTNERSHIP than a Love partnership? I wish I could cut that need out of me and be like him.
Praying for you Angie. My heart really goes out to you. I have been there, in an unsatisfactory marriage. Now, I’m still in the marriage, but it is the best thing that has happened to me, and I am thankful every day that we held on, stuck together and grew. Life is still crazy, we still annoy each other, we still have issues.
For me, the biggest factor was changing my attitude. Every time I caught myself wishing something was different, or feeling angry, or betrayed, I would think on the good instead (it’s biblically sound! Phil 4:8). After much practice, this has become a habit!
Another attitude change was instead of looking at all the things my husband was failing to do for me, I looked at ways I could improve my service to him. I gotta say, I married a good man (and it sounds like you did too!), so maybe this won’t work for everyone, but when hubby saw me putting in extra effort, he started to look for ways to put in extra effort for me.
An important thing to remember is that ALL marriages have issues, even the great ones, and sometimes it really is a matter of looking past what you don’t have, and seeing how incredibly blessed you are to have what God has given you!
Choose joy!
I absolutely love this! Thank you for sharing.
Leah,
I love it! As a former teacher and now mom I always am thinking about how there are great lessons to be learned in children’s books- even for adults! I love the creativity in your writing here! And how true it is 🙂
Love the story, so sweet and so true!
It is adorable… I printed it with changes of a few things to be pertinent for our relationship. I am going to use it for a fun date night theme. 🙂
Is life or marriage perfect? No, and it will never be in THIS world. That’s ok. This is not our home. Next and Final Stop… Heaven! We are not perfect, and our lives as wives are to be different than our contemporaries. We are called to be different as Christians, to turn the other cheek,and (my personal struggle) not keep a list of offenses. But if we demand to know what we will get BEFORE we give that loving touch or extra forgiveness we will ALWAYS struggle more than necessary.
Ladies, I vow to be better (than I was in days before) not bitter and begrudging. Sheila has helped by instilling fresh insight, Godly wisdom and uplifting ideas. Like I always say, Give it an honest try for 90 days, and if your life has not improved, your misery will be cheerfully refunded. 🙂 Live like you’re blessed, because you are! 🙂
Awesome, Dayna!
I understand how Angie feels. My husband is a super nice guy and a great dad. But there is no romance. And yes I have been a praying wife on this specific subject for 9 years also. God doesn’t always answer in 9 or 10 years. Still waiting….
I feel the same exact way that Angie does. Great story yet not so much reality. Even if I run out after him(which I do on almost a daily basis) I don’t ever get the feeling of romance, the feeling of him wanting the hug/kiss to go along with the kiss/hug. I don’t get an I love you or can I have a kiss unless I say/do it first. So frustrating and discouraging.
Love this!! So not 100% of this is me, but wow! So close. I’m truly a blessed wife & mama!!