Our marriage still has little areas that are far from perfect.
I think every marriage does, and I’ve begun to wonder if the aim isn’t perfection but instead grace in our areas of tension? Every Friday I like to write a 400-word inspirational piece with one thought about marriage, and today I thought I’d share some of the difficulties Keith and I have driving together. It’s been a bit of a heavy week on the blog, and I thought I’d try something a little lighter! See if you can relate to this:
Sheila’s Marriage Moment: When Your Marriage Has Little Areas of Big Imperfections
Once, early in our marriage, before the days of GPS or mapquest (some of you may not remember that), Keith and I drove through Montreal (fellow Canadians will know how scary that is). He was at the wheel; I had the map. But Keith likes to know exactly where he’s going. And I’m not the best at map reading. I always turn the thing upside down or say “left” when I mean “right”.
Keith swears that when he was tense and asked me where we should go, that I replied (while looking at the map), “we should go up on the blue road.” I don’t remember that. I do remember telling him, in a tentative voice, “I think we turn right here.” He testily replied, “Do you think or do you know?” I replied, “I think I know.”
Over the years technology has greatly improved our driving experience, but we still have tension. You know how sometimes when you have your GPS, the voice says, “In 400 meters turn right”? (Okay, maybe yours says yards or something silly like that, but mine says meters). And you think the GPS means right at THIS VERY INTERSECTION, but it actually meant the next intersection? So you have to turn around a bit and get on the right road?
Well, Keith gets testy if I tell us to turn early. His solution is to look at the GPS himself and never listen to me. He keeps the GPS facing him, and I just shut up.
The funny thing is that while driving around with my assistant and friend Tammy, who often comes on my road trips with me, I hold the GPS, I tell her where to go, and it works out perfectly fine. It’s not stressful at all.
So Keith and I don’t drive well together. And we likely never will. And you know what? It’s perfectly okay. I’m just happy Keith’s driving the RV and I don’t have to! And if we have this one area of tension for the rest of our marriage, what does it really matter?
I think sometimes we believe that God is disappointed in us if there is even one area that isn’t perfect in our relationship. I don’t think that’s true. Most couples have an area that isn’t perfect. But if you learn to accept each other in that area, and not let the tension slip over into other areas, then is it really such a big deal?
I’ve stopped aiming for perfect and now I’m just aiming to love my husband. Even if he does hold the GPS.
What do you not do well together? Let me know in the comments!