I actually liked grocery shopping with kids when my girls were younger.
In fact, I liked errands in general because that would be the time of the day that I chose to interact with them the most. I found that the more attention I gave them when we were out, the more time they would give to myself when we were at home! And it was easier to engage them when we were out, because we were already doing something. At home I always had to come up with something to do. That’s harder!
The girls needed to know that I enjoyed being with them, and since we had to do errands anyway, I tried to turn them into “child-focused learning experiences”. It made it more fun for them, so that they didn’t whine or fuss as much, and it helped pass the time for me, too.
One of our favourite errands was grocery shopping. It gave me a chance to talk with them and laugh with them, while reinforcing whatever learning we were trying to do at home. Whether it was health, colours, reading, or counting, we did it in the grocery store.
Kids just want to know that you find them interesting and that you enjoy being with them. When we ignore them because we just want to get stuff done, they’re going to tend to be more whiny. It’s not that they’re being bad; it’s just that kids naturally send out “engagement” signals, like “do you want to interact with me?” It’s sort of like a game of catch; they throw, and they want us to catch and throw it back. When we don’t catch, but let the ball slide, then they’re going to keep throwing more and more aggressively.
I first wrote about this concept in my post on how to avoid temper tantrums. In that, I listed all kinds of ways to make grocery shopping more fun. It was a big hit, so I decided to expand it in a post for the awesome website Don’t Waste the Crumbs! I thought I’d share it here with you today.
Grocery shopping with kids can be an ordeal. But maybe we just need to think about it differently!
After all, if you consider grocery shopping from a child’s point of view, it’s pretty boring. They’re stuck in a grocery cart and can’t move very much. There’s nothing to do. They’re surrounded by food they can’t eat. And so they get bored and grumpy and start acting out.
What’s the solution?
Keep kids engaged, and they just may find that grocery shopping can be fun! And by keeping kids engaged, you make it go faster for you, too.
My first line of attack when grocery shopping was to grab a banana or a dried fruit snack for each child and head to the express check out line. Then the kids would have something to eat while we shopped to stop the natural “gimme gimmes” that would start when surrounded by so much food. I’d stick the receipt in my pocket in case a staff member questioned me. (Bringing food from home is a bad idea; the staff may not believe that you didn’t pick it up there).
The rest of the plan is age-based. Here’s what to do to engage kids while grocery shopping:
Make Grocery Shopping with Kids More Fun For Everyone (Even You)
Engaging Babies: Keep Talking!
No matter what you’re doing, keep up a running commentary. “Mommy’s choosing grapes. See the grapes? Yummy!” All through the store, talk and make eye contact.
Babies may not understand what you’re saying, but they know you’re talking to them. Sure, shoppers may look at you strangely, but your baby knows you care.
Want to read the rest of the tips for toddlers, preschoolers, and even elementary aged kids? Just head on over to Don’t Waste the Crumbs and read about how to make grocery shopping fun for everyone!
But before I go today, I just want to reinforce how important this concept of interacting with our kids is. Interacting is not the same thing as touching them. You can carry your baby around all day, or even wear your baby, without actually interacting with your baby. Similarly, you can plunk a toddler down on your hip and go on with your day, but if you don’t stop and look that toddler in the eye and chat with the toddler, then he or she is going to feel ignored. So it’s not as much about touching your child–although touch is important–as it is about actually interacting with them. I think sometimes we feel that if we’re in the same room or we’re getting them dressed or giving them a bath we’re automatically interacting. But if we’re not talking or joking or tickling or something then we’re really not.
I hope that makes sense!
I’ve written more about how to interact with a toddler, and I hope that helps. Kids can really be quite fun, but if you don’t interact, I think parenting becomes boring. Don’t let that happen! Keep up a commentary with your kids, and you’ll find they will soak everything up.
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Sheila Wray Gregoire has been married for 29 years and happily married for 24! She loves traveling around North America with her hubby in their RV, giving her signature "Girl Talk" about sex and marriage. And she's written 7 books. About sex and marriage. See a theme here? Plus she knits. Even in line at the grocery store.








I would love to interact with my 11-year-old more. She is going through a phase where she doesn’t want to engage hardly at all. Luckily, she engages with God.
I pray that I can have a relationship with her through the teen years, so I will keep trying and praying.
Sometimes teens play “hard to get”. They see in the media that teenagers are meant to be sulky, non-communicative, hiding in their rooms, so they adopt that behavior. But deep inside they are craving close contact and hoping you will pursue them.
Keep chasing her!
Also, teens (and pre-teens) communicate better side-by-side than face to face. Drag her for a walk, take her on a long drive, get her working beside you in the kitchen.
And keep praying. 🙂
Totally agree about the side-by-side thing! Doing something with them works so much better than trying to talk!
Thank you Emily for the suggestions. I agree about the media. So many of the hip movies and book series are wrapped around teenagers being the heroes and the adults being evil. The other problem that I am having and working with her on is that she is so intelligent(if I let her, she could graduate high school in 2 years if I let her) and she gets inpatient if, with my MS, I don’t get things fast enough. I am a college educated woman who is losing cognitive skills daily. I need to point her to passages about humility and compassion while dealing with hormones.
She is my gift from God and when he saved her at birth(almost lost her), he knew what he was doing and knew we would come across these turbulent times.
I don’t have kids, but I’m pinning it anyway! I love the ideas, and other people need to read this. Hmm, maybe I should print copies to take to Winco with me to hand to moms with crying kids!
So I realized I probably sounded judgmental to moms with crying kids, since I’m not in that same boat. Sorry! I didn’t mean to sound like that. It’s just like that I always seem to encounter the ones who seem content to allow their kids to disturb the entire store. There. I hope that makes me sound not so mean and heartless! 🙂
I don’t think it’s heartless–I look at those moms and often wonder, please, just talk to your kids! It really does make a world of difference. Yes, sometimes kids will be upset sometimes no matter what. Absolutely. But when we ignore them–it’s hard to blame them if they get antsy.
Sometimes the babies are just grumpy, no matter what you do, but you’ve still gotta do the shopping. I have so much more sympathy now for moms with screaming kids since I’m the one getting ugly looks from people now in the store. And by the way, when you haven’t slept in 4 days, ignoring the kids may be the only thing keeping them alive.
Too funny, Ashley! I should make a printable out of it, though, shouldn’t I?
(I just shared this on ‘Don’t Waste the crumbs’)
Morning shopping is huge for us! I have three boys, (5, 3 and 1 yrs old) and I think we have succeeded in achieving happy shopping trips! Thank God!
With infants, just having them in a baby carrier for the first 6-9 months kept them far more cheerful!
Also, laying down ground rules that any begging will not be given in to, there will be no yelling, or running, and then following through with consequences of necessary. It may sound harsh, but knowing what’s expected is necessary for little people.
We’ll chit chat, they can help put things in, and they’ve learned to just admire stuff instead of ask. As I was checking out today, they were looking up at balloons, naming the characters in the pictures. At Aldi, since you have to pack your own groceries, I position them where they can look out the window at cars. At Walmart, if they are good, they know they get to go visit the fish tanks. They are learning to just enjoy looking.
I had read somewhere to distract children from begging by firing up their imaginations. “Mommy, I want jelly beans!” ” ooh! I see the Jelly beans, too! Can you imagine if we had a whole castle full of jelly beans? ” and just keep walking and talking!
Lastly, you can’t expect kids to behave well at the grocery store, if you don’t also have standards for their behavior at home and church etc. At home, they can’t hit or scream or throw (yes, we let them wrestle and run and shout! They are energetic boys). At church, they know to whisper, look at books, and stay in the pew.
Love that idea of just firing up their imaginations! Yes, that’s just talking to them and interacting, too!
Shopping with babies was easier especially once you could put the carseat in the shopping cart. That was a Godsend.
As they got older – the most important thing was ground rules…I didn’t play games but we got the task accomplished.
And that’s a success!
Sheila, I love this! I always think it’s so sad that so many moms try to do their grocery shopping without bringing their kids. I’m one of the few people I know who truly enjoys grocery shopping with little people. Granted, I’m single, so I don’t “have” to go grocery shopping with kids every week. I’m sure that make a difference too. But when I do go grocery shopping with kids, I do the kinds of things you mentioned in the article and we all have a blast. It takes longer than running through the store on my own, and I need a list beforehand, because I’m not as good as thinking on my feet when I’m interacting with others at the same time, but with a little prep, grocery shopping is so much fun. (Especially when you need fewer than 20 items and can have the kids help you scan at the self-checkout; they just love that!)
I loved your book “Raising Kids….” I loved your suggestion about the bananas as a snack. I used it a little differently. My boys loved the shopping, but hated the checkout and such. I paid for the bananas first and they munched during check-out and finished in the car…..cheap snack and peace. Right now I am having health problems and finding that my attitude and exhaustion is the root of the problems with my kids. I know it is not them, but not sure how to get out of this cycle and the problems I have created. Your book is giving me ideas and hope, thanks.