Today I want to give you some encouragement for your marriage!
Sheila’s Marriage Moment: Tomorrow is a Day with No Mistakes in it Yet!
Every Friday I like to run a 400-word inspirational marriage thought. Hope you enjoy this one, about fresh starts.
As some of you have realized, I throw the letter “u” into weird words, like flavour, or colour, or Saviour. That’s because I’m Canadian. And we Canadians like our “u’s”.
We also like Anne of Green Gables. And one of my favourite (there’s that u again) lines from the book is when Anne says,
Oh, Marilla, isn’t it wonderful that tomorrow is a day with no mistakes in it yet?
What a wonderful sentiment!
No matter where you are in your marriage, tomorrow is a day with no mistakes in it yet.
It’s a fresh start. In fact, God gives each of us a fresh start everyday.
Each morning we get to decide:
do I want to live today, or do I want to live yesterday over again? Do I want to see today through God’s eyes, or do I want to see it through the eyes of what happened yesterday, or last year, or even when I was a child?
I know many of you are walking through deep valleys in your marriage. I had emails yesterday from people whose husbands have confessed to affairs. I’ve had other emails from both husbands and wives in absolute despair because their spouses refuse to address problems. Things can look so bleak.
But I want to share some good news with you. My marriage was once really difficult, and sex was the main reason. But now we are rock solid. It just took a few years.
That’s what Maggie Waite and Linda Gallagher found when they crunched the numbers from the National Marriage Survey and wrote their book The Case for Marriage. They looked at one large study that followed couples who rated their marriage as a 7 or an 8 on an 8 point scale, with 8 being absolutely lousy. They watched these couples for the next five years. The people who split were less likely to be personally happy than those who stayed together. But of those who stayed, 87% now rated their marriages higher than a 7 or an 8, and 78% rated them as a 1 or a 2. Deciding to stick it out and deal with your problems does bear fruit.
What that tells me is that if your marriage is in the toilet, it isn’t necessarily time to flush it.
Certainly separation is sometimes the wake up call your spouse needs.
But in most cases where we’re unhappy, it’s not due to something major. It’s a whole series of small hurts that balloon and wreck our communication because they fill our minds with distrust and even contempt.
Tomorrow is a day with no marriage mistakes in it yet. Maybe it’s time to start fresh!
What’s #1 at To Love, Honor and Vacuum?
#1 NEW Post on the Blog: A Story of Vaginismus: What I Wish I Had Known
#1 on the Blog Overall: Top 10 Ways to Initiate Sex
#1 from Facebook: 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married
#1 from Pinterest: The 43 Folder System to Organize Your Paper Clutter
Walking Through one of the Hardest Sexual Difficulties
This week on the blog I’ve taken a 3-day hiatus from normal posting and I’ve looked at a sexual problem called vaginismus, or pain during sex. The vast majority of you will never (thankfully) experience this. But a small percentage do, and they feel really alone, and we don’t talk about it.
Most people don’t even know the condition exists.
Even this week, when I posted one of the articles on Facebook, one commenter said, “just take it slowly and relax and it will be fine!” That’s the message that most sufferers of vaginismus hear, but the truth is it ISN’T fine and relaxing isn’t that simple.
I know that many of you couldn’t relate to these posts, but I hope that I’ve raised awareness, because even if you don’t experience it, chances are someone in your women’s Bible study or in your family or in your friend group does. And she may not even know there’s a term for it or that it’s fixable. So the more we talk about it, the more we help women who do suffer get help early! So thanks for hanging in there, and if I could ask you to share Lauren’s beautiful post from Tuesday, it will help other women put a name to what they’re experiencing, too.
I’m on My Way to Give My Girl Talk in Georgia and Texas!
Yay! I’m leaving the snow behind and my husband and I are heading south. As of tomorrow we’ll be back in our RV to birdwatch in Florida for 10 days before heading to Georgia and Texas for my Girl Talk speaking engagements.
And if you’re in the south and can’t make these events in Georgia, I’m passing through Georgia, Louisiana, and the Carolinas again in April. If your church would like to get in on an event, please email my assistant Tammy! It isn’t that difficult–all you have to do is provide some coffee and a few snacks. I do all the rest. You can decorate if you want to, but if you don’t, I have a huge banner that will fill the stage. And if you can get about 100 women out, the event pretty much pays for itself. Go in with a few churches and get 200 women, and your church could even make some money that can go towards scholarships for your women’s retreat or something!
Next year we’ll be heading through the central states and then into Texas, Arizona, California, and Washington. So email Tammy if you’d like to book me for then!
So I Was in Toronto filming Context with Lorna Dueck this week…
And a funny thing happened.
I’m sitting in the back, waiting for my chance to go on to the Valentine’s Day program that they’re taping, and the host says that they’re going to bring in their “expert” on communication from California, and interview her remotely. And suddenly Fawn Weaver’s face (Fawn from Happy Wives Club) appears on the screen!
Too funny because we’re friends and I had been contacting her about something earlier that day anyway.
So I rushed up and got to say hi to her before they started the interview.
Then I was interviewed about why I think sex often tears marriages apart, and I talked about libido differences and how people don’t understand that sex is more than just physical.
Someone took a bunch of pictures on my iPhone during the interview (I wish they were sharper), but it’s so funny because each shot I have a seriously weird expression on my face. I guess I use a lot of faces when being interviewed!
Here’s my favourite:
So it’s been a busy week, and Keith has been away a lot on call, because he’s always busy the week before we leave. But I’m excited to get going!
Have a great weekend, everyone!
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