I’m sitting in a motel right now after giving my Girl Talk to 200 women at RockFish Church near Fayetteville, North Carolina last night.
Here I am arguing that because our culture has removed sex from the context of a marriage relationship, the body becomes way too important since it’s all about the physical now. And that’s why we all feel so much pressure to look a certain way. It’s just sad.
Anyway, we had a great night, but I’m tired! So I thought rather than share a long post today I’d share a bunch of different thoughts and resources I’ve found over the last week. So here we go!
Great Churches Make Everything Natural
We had the opportunity to worship at RockFish yesterday morning, before speaking there last night. And three things really stood out to me, which I just want to share. Sort of “best practices” that I don’t see very often–and we tour a LOT of churches.
First, at least twenty people welcomed us. The greeters had on special T-shirts. They were mostly made up of the leadership of the church. They gave us RockFish coffee thermoses. They led us to the coffee and the iced tea.
Which leads me to my second point: Everyone could get coffee and either sweetened or unsweetened iced tea, and you were allowed to bring it into the sanctuary. In fact, the backs of the chairs even had drink holders. More than one person told us, “we care more about you all being comfortable than we do about our carpets!”
And third, they have baptisms every week. On the spur of the moment. It’s just natural. They announce at the start of worship what baptism is, and they say if you want to be baptized, come on back. They have clothes and towels and hairdryers back there so anyone can come at any time. And we saw someone do just that! It was really cool.
The overwhelming feeling we had was just “come as you are, and we want church to be a natural outpouring of who we are, not somewhere where you act differently than you would everywhere else.”
It was great!
A Few of My Friends are Writing Amazing Things About Sex
My friend Julie from Hot, Holy and Humorous has been on a roll answering Reader Questions lately. And she recently answered one on what to do if you wake up your husband is trying to have sex with you. I thought she handled it really well. It reminds me of this question I answered about what to do if your husband keeps waking you up for sex at night. They’re a little different–she’s talking about a husband who is almost assaulting his wife; I’m talking about a husband who is pushy. But many women deal with these problems!
She also has a post up about how to celebrate her 500th post with her–including a video of her husband and her answering some questions. So you finally get to meet Spock!
Then there’s my friend Julie from Intimacy in Marriage who dares to go where no one else will go. She’s talking about female ejaculation and the G-spot, and she handles it really well and tastefully, while giving a lot of information.
Why God Hates Divorce
I shared this really brief article on Facebook this weekend and it went nuts–the author obviously hit a nerve and said some things that needed to be said. Here’s just a bit:
After watching thousands get divorced I’ve observed three main reasons why people get divorced today, they are: addiction, adultery, abuse. Most of the church-related marriage classes focus on Venus and Mars, communication, respect, and intimacy. Those are great subjects for the couples who merely need a “tune up.” However, when issues such as pornography, abuse, manipulation, drugs or alcohol, or an extramarital affair are involved those classes don’t work. Ironically, they can exacerbate the problem because the offender often uses the class to his/her advantage.
I chime in with my thoughts, which are very similar, in this article on why I’m anti-divorce but pro-remarriage (because sometimes divorce is necessary, and if it is, then God really understands).
25,000 People Received My Marriage Newsletter This Month
I send out a newsletter every month with links to all my best posts on marriage from that month, PLUS a marriage topic. This month it was “What Lies Do You Believe About Marriage?”, and I liked to a bunch of posts you may not have seen, including the lies we believe about sex (like “sex is just for him”, “I can never feel good”, etc.), the lies we believe about men (like “all men are perverts”), and the lies we believe about marriage.
And then I link to all the Reader Questions I answered that month, and even answer an extra one–with content exclusive just to subscribers, that never makes it to this blog.
It’s totally free–so don’t miss out on next month’s! Subscribe here.
So there are some things I’ve found helpful this week. I hope you enjoy them! And I’ll be back tomorrow, after I’m rested up, with a Top 10 post!