Sheila’s Marriage Moment
It’s my new Friday feature–a 400 word inspirational comment about marriage!
“We just don’t communicate anymore.” “The house is always a mess.” “We’re up to our eyeballs in debt.”
When I ask people to tell me about their marriage, 9 times out of 10 they mention the things they’re struggling with.
That’s natural, because it’s usually the things that we’re struggling with that we spend the most time thinking about, so that’s what readily comes to mind.
But as I said in 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage, the things that we tend to think about determine our attitude. So maybe instead of focusing on our weaknesses as a couple, we should start focusing on our strengths!
This doesn’t mean that we ignore our weaknesses; if you’re up to your eyeballs in debt, after all, you do need to figure out a financial plan! But when we spend all of our time and energy tackling our weak areas, we often feel like the whole marriage itself is weak.
I am really inflexible. One of my daughters used to do her homeschool math while sitting in the splits. I can barely touch my toes.
I can spend an hour a day stretching and go for massages. After a few months of that, I might be able to comfortably bend down.
However, I actually like lifting weights. And the times that I’ve tried it in the past I’ve gotten quite strong quite quickly. I lose it just as quickly, but it’s not hard for me to build up muscle, especially in my arms.
So if I want to feel like I’m getting more in shape, I shouldn’t just concentrate on something that I’m lousy out. I should add something that I’m already good at so that I can make good progress!
What are your strengths as a couple? Think back to the last time you laughed together, felt really low stress, or just had a fun time. What were you doing? Were you fixing up the house? Going for a drive in the country? Playing a board game? Volunteering at church?
Figure out what it is that you do well together, and then do more of that. If you don’t communicate well, you need to learn to communicate better. But it will be easier to do that if you are also having fun doing something else. It just brings the tension down.
So don’t spend all your time tackling your weaknesses. Work in your areas of strength, too. And then your whole marriage will feel stronger.
And now it’s time for what’s been big at the blog this week, and what’s going on in my life–with lots of pictures!
What’s #1 at To Love, Honor and Vacuum?
#1 NEW Post on the Blog: A Thank You to All Military Spouses
#1 on the Blog Overall: My Husband Changed Since We Got Married!
#1 from Facebook: 4 Things To Know About Teens, the Media, and God
#1 from Pinterest: Stocking Stuffers for Your Husband Something tells me this is the most popular one that we are going to be having for a while. (bookmark this for later!)
We Met My Contest Winner!
When 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage launched, I had a contest that I would take someone who bought the book out to dinner.
And Kristen won, and she lives in Georgia.
Well, my husband and I have been traveling around in our RV, and we made it down to the Carolinas. Then this week he flew home and my assistant flew down, because I had two interviews to film and another big Girl Talk in Raeford, North Carolina coming up this Sunday (you don’t want to miss that if you live in North Carolina!).
So after filming yesterday in Atlanta, we met up with Kristen and a friend of hers for dinner.
And I signed her book, too! (she will laugh when she sees that this picture is blurry. We talked a lot about taking blurry pictures! I thought this one was okay; obviously it wasn’t. Sorry, Kristen!)
She said that she absolutely loved The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, and she gives it away like crazy, but she thinks 9 Thoughts is really my best book because it’s so deep. So that was really a great encouragement to me! 9 Thoughts is, quite honestly, a more difficult book to explain. It’s obvious what The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex is about, but it’s harder to explain why women NEED to read 9 Thoughts. So for her to say, “this is really your best” was awesome. Thank you, Kristen!
Kristen brought along a friend, and we all had some great chats about how to raise healthy families, why the church doesn’t deal with porn well enough (we decided it was lack of authentic relationships and not understanding the addiction side of pornography–it usually takes more than a simple prayer to defeat it). We talked about our families and fostering kids and how to find your giftings as a woman.
And then she gave us some homemade cookies, too!
Here’s the four of us afterwards!
And we even had a rather creepy guy eavesdrop on our conversation and keep coming over and talking to us. So it all made for a very memorable night!
Looking forward to meeting the woman who won my “I’ll come and talk at your church” prize next September. She’s in Iowa, and we’re bringing Girl Talk back there.
Our Life in KOA Kampgrounds
As my husband and I have been traveling around, we’ve stayed at a ton of KOA Kampgrounds. They have wifi–and I need wifi! And they’re always clean and well-organized, so we know what to expect, since we’re often arriving quite late at night.
The one in Myrtle Beach was gorgeous, but it rained the whole time we were there so I don’t have pictures. But the one in Rodanthe, in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, was lovely, too.
And it was right on the beach!
You just walk down that road…
And suddenly you’re here…
All the KOAs have pools, too, and great play areas for the kids.
A lot of them have that jumping thingy, too.
So we had a great time camping. And it’s so inexpensive–we just buy our own groceries and eat like we would at home (we didn’t go out to any restaurant at all for 5 days straight. I was really impressed with us!).
We’re leaving the RV in South Carolina and then we’re flying back here in January to pick it up again and start all over. I’m so looking forward to it! My hubby and I love being in it (I think camping is one of our “strengths as a couple”), so it’s a great bonding time away from the real world.
Katie Just Passed 10,000 Subscribers!
If you follow my daughter on YouTube, she’s thrilled because she just passed 10,000 subscribers! Here’s her latest on surviving at college when you were a homeschooler before:
And on Instagram…
Have a great weekend, everyone!