What if sleeping in the same bed is causing you not to sleep at all?

It’s Wednesday, the day when we always talk marriage! And today I thought we’d get super practical: What do you do if you find sleeping in the same bed with your husband almost impossible?

Let’s look at some of the common reasons that sleeping in the same bed can be challenging.

Sleeping in the Same Bed: The Temperature Wars

One of  you likes the window open. One of you likes fourteen blankets and socks on.

Or how about this: you’re going through menopause and you’re a furnace! You hate how you climb in between two nice, cool sheets and five minutes later they’re burning hot?

I totally understand. Those “hot flashes” at night are NOT fun.

Personally, I’m more of a “want to be nice and toasty” person, while my husband often sleeps with no covers on at all. And he likes to put the temperature down to about 55 degrees Fahrenheit in the winter overnight to save on the heating bills. So what do you do when you each want a different temperature?

Slumber CloudWell, Slumber Cloud sent me the most amazing samples recently and I want to tell you about them. Basically they make heat-managing mattress covers, pillow covers, blankets, and other bedding that help you regulate temperature–especially during menopause (but also when you both just like different temperatures at night!)

First they sent us the Nacreous Mattress Pad, and here’s what they say about it:

Traditional mattresses allow heat and moisture radiating from your skin to become trapped under the covers. The result? You toss and turn and push the covers away until you cool off. Then you get too cold, so you bundle up and the cycle begins again. Slumber Cloud’s Nacreous Mattress Pad manages the microclimate under the covers by absorbing heat when you are too hot and releasing heat when your skin temperature begins to drop. It’s the hardest working mattress pad on the market and has earned our Gold+ Comfort Rating. Cool and silky to the touch thanks to Outlast® viscose fabric, and an expert at thermal-regulation due to its inner Outlast® liner fabric, the Nacreous Mattress Pad ensures that you get every one of your 40 winks.

Their pillow covers, sheet sets, and duvets work the same way. No more kicking the covers off and then yanking them back on all night! And no more fighting with your husband about that open window!

We were really excited about the mattress pad because the bed in our RV is a little bit firm, to say the least. The mattress pad made it much softer–but it also kept it nice and cool! We’ve slept in the RV for five nights now, and two have been boiling hot, two have been freezing, and one’s been normal. At all temperatures the mattress pad stayed consistent. It never overheated or felt sweaty or anything.

Slumber Cloud Mattress Pad

(And yes, that is toilet paper hanging down at the back. What can I say? We’re too cheap to buy Kleenex. And I didn’t even realize it was there when I had Keith take this picture!).

One night we MAY OR MAY NOT have leaked a whole water bottle over one half of the bed. But that water stayed in the pad–it didn’t leak down to the mattress whatsoever. And the mattress pad was completely dry within a few hours, whereas the sheet we had to stick in the washer and dryer.

I can just imagine how well it handles sweaty “hot flashes”, then!

They also sent us matching Nacreous Pillow covers, and they were amazing, too. The pillow covers keep the pillows nice and cool against your face. I’m forever turning my pillow over all night because I like cool pillows. I haven’t had to do that once since we hit the RV and started trying this stuff out!

Slumber Cloud utilizes Outlast® technology, which is made of a unique material that can absorb, store and release excess heat so that you can get the best sleep possible. And it works whether you want it hot or cold! It just regulates temperature so that you’re always comfortable. And it stops all that tossing and turning.

I really appreciated being able to try out these great products, and I encourage you to look at them, too. And if you’re a “woman of a certain age” who is having difficulty sleeping, they’ve got great information on menopause and sleep, too, at their website.

Here they are explaining how the heat-regulating technology works:

And here’s where you can manage your own temperature at night!

Slumber Cloud is also hosting a contest on their Facebook Page where you can win a matching pillow set. Enter here!

Sleeping in the Same Bed: The Sheet Wars

When my daughter was married this July, one of the things my now son-in-law Connor quickly found out is that Rebecca does not share very well. At least when it comes to sheets. Her sister Katie could have told him this. Katie’s big complaint every time we went to a hotel and they had to share a bed is that Rebecca would take all the covers.

Rebecca calls it “being a burrito”. She lies in the sheets, and then rolls over until she’s all covered up–just like a burrito! She does it in her sleep, so it’s not intentional. But the end result is that she’s taken all the sheets, and he’s left with nothing.

Their solution: share a blanket, but use separate sheets! That way they both get the sheets they need.

Sometimes you may have to make the bed with three sheets: the fitted one, and then two top ones, so that you each can have one. Sure, it means you can’t touch your legs when you sleep or something, but if it means that you can get to sleep–it’s not a failure! It’s a success.

Sleeping in the Same Bed: The Sound Wars

I’ve written before about husbands snoring–and you can see the biggest post on that here.

Keith doesn’t snore all the time. He really mostly snores when he’s overtired, like when he’s been on call all weekend. But on those nights I just can’t sleep next to him. And now that my girls are gone, I have extra bedrooms. So I just slip out of bed and head down the hall. No big deal.

Except that this fall we’re going on tour a ton, and we’re going to be together in an RV. A small RV. Where there’s nowhere to escape to.

I was nervous. What if I couldn’t sleep? I’ve been wearing ear plugs to sleep since I was about 19 and living in a house with 3 other girls at university. I’ve never been one who could sleep with noise, so I needed to block it out.

But those ear plugs could not drown out snoring.

Worlds Finest Ear Plug---(2-Pair) Travel PackSo before we headed out in the RV, I did some research on BETTER ear plugs, to see if here was something I was missing. I found some, ordered some, and for the first time I can actually sleep beside Keith if he snores! It’s not always easy, but they work better than anything else I found. And they’re not that expensive! Instead of being foam they’re wax which mold to the inside of your ear. And they truly do keep a LOT of sound out.

Check them out here.

Sleeping in the Same Bed: The Crowding Wars

The funny thing about this RV, though, is that even though the RV itself is cramped the bed isn’t.

You see, our whole marriage we’ve slept in a double bed. Part of it was just that I was cheap. We were given a double bed, and I didn’t want to have to splurge to buy a Queen. And then when we finally did buy a whole new bedroom set, about fifteen years into our marriage, all my sheets and my duvets were for a double sized bed. I didn’t want to have to buy all new bedding, so we bought another double bed.

But the RV has a Queen sized bed! So it’s all new for us.

If you’re married to someone who kicks or who moves a lot in his sleep, then consider getting a bigger bed. It’s worth the investment if it means that you can stay in the same room, and you actually sleep. Being woken up multiple times during the night doesn’t help your mood or your health.

We’ve always been able to manage in a smaller bed. But if we couldn’t–I’d upgrade in a heartbeat. I need my sleep.

Let me know in the comments: Have you had trouble sleeping in the same bed? What did you do about it?

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