It’s time to cultivate new attitudes in our marriage!
And so I hope you’ll join me as we continue the Ultimate Marriage Reading Challenge of 2015! Every month I introduce a new marriage topic, and then suggest 2-4 books that can help you in that area. And I’ll review at least one of them in detail on the blog.
I’m so sorry that I skipped August. I was supposed to do another novel post–but it was such a busy month for me with the book launch and the family wedding, and time just got away from me.
But today is a day that seems like it’s a new beginning. Up here where I live the kids start school today (I know many of you have been back at school for several weeks, but here we’re just beginning!) Summer seems like it’s officially over. We have a new year stretching out. And so it’s a great month to think about new beginnings–about new ways that we can think about our marriage and see that marriage thrive.
And no matter where you are in your marriage today–you CAN have a new beginning! And I’m so excited by what God is going to do in marriages this month. I can feel it.
I watched the movie War Room last night. They had a screening for media in Canada in several large cities last week, but I don’t live in a large city. So Sony Pictures gave me a code, and I watched it while I was doing my ironing. Not very glamorous, I know, but the ironing had to get done!
I enjoyed it more than I thought I would–I had a few reservations going in. I still have them (I think that we sometimes give a simplistic view of Christianity in media, and most times big battles in the spiritual world are fought over years and decades, not days), but the movie is just SO motivating. I don’t have a prayer closet because I do most of my prayers while I walk. But I am in the midst of creating prayer “walls” in Evernote for several people I really battle in prayer for, and that’s awfully fun! To be part of the battle is actually exhilarating.
And in that movie, one of the main things that Elizabeth, the main character, had to change was her own attitudes towards her husband. Her resentment and bitterness were poisoning her marriage–even though her husband Tony was very much in the wrong in several areas. But God couldn’t do the work until she dealt with her own heart.
That’s the message of my new book 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage: deal with your own heart first.
I am not saying that we don’t address his issues. I am only saying that you can’t address his stuff until until you’re able to humble yourself and start thinking right about your marriage and about your husband. Like Mrs. Clara, the older mentor, said in the movie, when you’re at war with your husband you’re fighting against your own marriage. It’s a losing battle on every side.
Getting our own hearts right is the way to grow a good marriage–but it’s also the way to start the hard process of restoring a broken marriage.
I know that doesn’t sound fun. Every day I wake up to comments on this blog by people who seem to want a magic pill, a magic thing they can do to change their husbands. There isn’t a pill. There isn’t any magic. And there isn’t even a formula.
But that doesn’t mean things can’t change. And do you know how COOL it is to be in the midst of a marriage that is getting turned around? And so I’d like to recommend three books this month that all help you deal with your attitude:
Here they are:
9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage by Sheila Gregoire
Yep. It’s my book. Because that’s what the first four thoughts are all about: addressing our own attitudes! I know many of you have bought the book (thank you so much!). Now I want to challenge you to actually READ it. Throughout this month I’ll be linking to posts that go with each thought. If it’s sitting on your bedside table, pick it up and try one thought a night–or even one every other night. Start the change today!
Who should read this book: Anyone who is married! If you like this blog, all my main philosophies about marriage are summed up in this book. And if you actually start BELIEVING what God says about marriage–you’ll be on a wild ride for sure!
I recommend 9 Thoughts as the main go-to book this month. But I know many of you have already read it, and so I’m also giving you these two options. I’ll be talking about the Argument Free Marriage in its own post, too.
The Argument Free Marriage by Fawn Weaver
What if you didn’t have to fight in your marriage anymore? What if you two could actually be on the same page–and resolve issues without fighting, without nastiness, without regret? Fawn Weaver says it’s totally possible when you start changing the way you think. It’s a book that will change your whole outlook on what you want in marriage!
Who should read this book: If you’re choosing one of the two alternates, this is the book for those in the best place in their marriage. If it’s good, but you feel stalled and stuck, this book can take you to the next level up, and help you truly feel like you’re a team, ready to take on the world!
The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian
If you were turned on fire by the War Room movie, then here’s your alternate for September! The main message of the first bit of the book is to address your own heart, because only then can our prayers come from a place of power.
Who should read this book: Those women who want to start a consistent prayer life with their husbands, and who know they need to learn more about how to pray. Especially for those in difficult marriages.
How We’ll Develop New Marriage Habits This Month
I hope you’ll read along with me! I’m going to be focusing primarily on 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage, and I’ll be posting on Facebook links to posts that talk about each of the 9 Thoughts. Pretty much everything this month will weave into it! So join us.
But I’m so excited right now. More jazzed than I’ve been in a long time. Maybe it’s because of War Room, maybe it’s because it’s a new beginning with school starting, or maybe it’s because I can just sense from the frustration of so many commenters that people need this. We need the hope for real change. And I want to show you how God wants to do amazing things in your marriage this month!
How to join us for our September Reading Challenge:
- Buy one of the books to read.
- Join the Facebook Page so you can track new habits with us.
- Leave a comment with any question you’d like to ask about new attitudes in marriage–and I’ll try to deal with them!
- Pin this post, share it on Facebook, or tweet about it so more people can be encouraged to read–and change their marriages for the better!
Will you be part of our reading challenge this month to develop new attitudes for REAL change?
Want to learn more about 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage? Some awesome bloggers have reviewed it for me, and I want to point you to just a few!
Darby Dugger at For the Love of Our Husbands said, “There have been very few books that I have read where I immediately wanted to purchase a copy for everyone I know, but this is one of those books! I needed to hear the message, but I also thought of so many of my friends who need this message as well.” She’s running a giveaway for two more days–you can enter here.
Tiffany Godfrey at Committed Wife said that what really stood out to her was exactly the parts of the book I want to talk about this month–changing the way we think about marriage so that we can find that happiness again. Read her review here.
I love how each of these women picked up on a different aspect of it. That’s so cool. And I hope that as you read it, God will give you ONE specific thought that you can incorporate right now that will make a huge difference. We’re all at different places, and I find when I read a book that I often just take one thought–and that turns me right around.
Are you excited? I am! And I’m excited to write my post about War Room, too! So stay tuned–I really think God’s going to do amazing things in marriages this month.
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